


The Major and The Nanny

by Brigzi16



Category: Holby City
Genre: Alternate Universe - Nanny, F/F, Major Character Injury, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2018-11-19 10:50:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 40
Words: 60,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11311863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brigzi16/pseuds/Brigzi16
Summary: Serena Campbell is an agency nanny sent to take care of two children, Cameron and Charlotte Dunn. Their mother: Major Berenice Griselda Wolfe. Serena soon learns that the Major is haunted by ghosts and is unwilling to let them go. Can Serena find a way through the Major's walls and bring mother and children closer?ON HIATUS





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So... I was watching the Sound of Music and this idea popped into my head. It's not a Sound of Music AU. It's just a story about a nanny and an army officer. So no musical outbursts and no walking over the Alps lol

Serena Campbell was an experienced nanny with considerable experience handling difficult children however she had never come across a difficult parent but that was about to change. She had been called into the office at short notice, the secretary telling her the boss needed to see her about a new assignment. Agency nannies were in high demand these days when it came to the wealthy especially businesspersons who spent most of their time aboard and Serena had spent many a month with rich brats, whose parent or parents didn't take an interest in their child or childrens' life or lives. She was sat in Henrik Hanssen's, the head of personnel, office getting briefed on her new assignment.

“We've received a call from a Major Wolfe, one of the army's most decorated and respected front-line medics. She is needing a nanny for the period of 6 months to a year whilst she completes her final tour and makes preparations to become a training officer at Sandhurst” Serena raises an eyebrow at how impressive this Major Wolfe seemed to be and by the fact that she was a woman. The army was always part of the old boys' network in her mind 

“I see. How many children?”

“Two. Cameron, who is thirteen, and Charlotte, who is eleven.” Serena had had experience working with older children and had found them resist to a nanny but she had found a way to work with them and develop a relationship with them eventually

“And their father?”

“Not part of the equation. Major Wolfe has informed me that he has had no contact with his children since he moved overseas with his new wife. New Zealand according to the Major.” So a divorced army major, who had been forced to have her children whilst their father had moved away. This was a classic case of distant parent who had been forced to take on children that were abandoned by the other parent. She expected the Major to be bitter and a little angry. 

“Is this a in situate assignment?”

“Yes. Will Alan be able to take Jason for that amount of time? I know you hate being away from him for long periods”

“I shouldn't see why not. Jason misses spending time with Alan and vice versa”

“Good. The Major expects you tomorrow”

“So soon? Well I had best get home and arrange Jason's care as well as pack” Serena stands and smiles at Henrik. As well as her boss, he was also a good friend and knew he would look in on Jason when he had the chance. “See you later Henrik” Hanssen bows his head as Serena leaves the office. Once she had closed the door she takes a deep breath and headed home. On the way she picks up some fish and chips for tea and hopes that Jason won't be upset about her having to go away for so long 

“Auntie Serena is that you?” Jason was a special boy, he had Asperger's Syndrome. He was very bright but very difficult, at times. He was only 16. Serena had found out about him after the sister she never knew she had passed away from terminal cancer a little over a year ago. She had been surprised but quickly formed an attachment to the young man. 

“Yes it's me Jason. Is Alan still here?”

“In the kitchen Serena!” Serena smiles at the sound of the man's voice. She heads for the kitchen and sets down on the table and sighs “Jason could you join us please?” 

“But Auntie Serena I'm watching Time Team”

“Now Jason” Serena could hear the boy's sigh and looks at Alan with trepidation as Jason comes into the kitchen “I have some news”

“You've got a new assignment haven't you?” Jason had always been an observant young man and always knew when his auntie received a new assignment. Most of them were weekend jobs, some a month or two but never had there been a one that required her to be away for a long period of time.

“Yes I have however it is a lengthy one. Six months to a year.”

“A year?!” Serena and Alan flinch at Jason's raised voice. This wasn't going to end well was it? 

“The client is a Major in the army. She is going back on tour and needs a nanny to care for her children whilst she's away.” 

“I can move in here Serena. Would you like that Jason?” Alan asks the young man hoping that the idea of him moving in whilst his auntie was away would calm him down 

“Where's her husband? Why can't he care for the children?” Serena sighs and rubs the back of her neck. She knew she had to humour Jason's need to know everything

“She doesn't have a husband. Well not any-more. She's divorced like me and he is on the other side of the world with his new wife. He doesn't have anything to do with the children, which is why she needs me to go and look after the children whilst she's away.”

“Okay” It was quiet acceptance but an acceptance that brought relief to both Serena and Alan. Jason slips out of the kitchen and back into the living room to continue watching his programme

“That could have gone much worse” Serena sighs and looks at Alan with a raised eyebrow

“Yes it could have. I hate leaving him but I need the money and this job is stable for at least six months” Alan puts a comforting hand on Serena's shoulder and smiles softly at her 

“He'll be fine Serena. I'll make sure of it okay.” 

“Thank you Alan. Now let's get these fish and chips served up and eaten shall we?” The pair chuckle and make sure that Jason is giving his tea first as he hated fish and chips cold. After tea Serena headed upstairs to pack. She knew she'd be able to buy clothes whilst she was away but right now she was more concerned with making the right impression and making sure she covered all weather basis. Whilst packing she decides to look up Major Wolfe to get some back ground information on her new client. She was surprised to see many a newspaper article on the Major and opens up one of the news stories

'HERO MEDIC AWARDED MILITARY CROSS'

Captain Berenice Grieslda Wolfe was today awarded the military cross at Buckingham Palace by her Majesty The Queen after rescuing several members of her unit and a number of civilians that had come under heavy fire by insurgents in a remote Afghan village during a routine patrol. The Captain, pictured above, with her two children aged 11 and 9, received a gunshot wound to her upper leg but was resilient and remained strong guiding the under fire soldiers and civilians to safety. She is also in line for promotion to Major, making her the youngest Major in recent army history. Captain Wolfe is part of a distinguished military family with several generations of Wolfe men serving in the army including her father who was Major General William Wolfe; who sadly passed away last year from liver cancer. No doubt he would have been proud of his daughter'

Serena looks at the picture of the Major and her children. The Major was stunning. She had been dressed in full dress uniform and had kneeled down between her children, the military cross sat proudly in its presentation box for the photo. No husband in the photo. Perhaps the paper chose this photo to make the Major look like a doting mother as well as an army officer and war hero. Perhaps that was the case and her duty to her country was more of a hindrance when it came to her relationships with her children. Serena knew she would soon find out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Serena arrives at the Wolfe residence and has her first meeting with the Major. To Serena it's clear the woman is haunted but what is it that causes the war hero to be so cold?

The next day Serena drove to the address that she was emailed to her the previous evening. It was on the outskirts of Holby and was fairly easy to find. The house was situated down a long driveway making the house feel secluded from its surroundings. From its frontal appearance the house looked sizeable in proportion, the front door made of solid wood with an glass inset. The windows were large and probably made the house light and airy inside. The front garden was a good size and well presented. Serena pulls up just off the door and gets out of her car. She takes a deep breath before removing her suitcase from the boot. She locks up the car and walks up to the front door and rings the bell. A young blonde woman appears and opens the door 

“Can I help you?”

“Yes. I'm Serena Campbell, the new nanny” The young woman smiles and nods her head

“Oh please come in” the young woman steps aside allowing Serena into the house. The interior was simple and modern. “If you could wait in the library I will inform the Major that you've arrived” the young woman shows Serena into a large library before disappearing. Serena sets her suitcase down and looks around the room. She makes for one of the bookcases and looks over the books on the shelves. Various classics: The Brontes, Austen, George Elliot, Virginia Wolf, Dickens. Serena smiles and knew she wouldn't be bored should she have time to herself. Serena then comes across a photo. It was of the Major and another army officer. They were laughing. The pair seemed close. 

“Is snooping part of a nanny's resume or are you just plain nosy?” Startled by the voice behind her Serena almost drops the photo. She takes a deep breath as she puts the photo back its original place. She turns around and is greeted by The Major, who was dressed in a crisp black shirt, black dress pants and a pair of military style boots. Her picture in the newspaper didn't do the Major any justice. She has unruly blonde hair with piercing chocolate brown eyes, her face was fuller yet she looked stunningly beautiful. 

“Neither. I apologize” 

“Apology accepted however I must ask you to not to touch that photograph again” Serena realises that photo held some significance to the Major. It seemed to be sentimental, very sentimental. 

“Of course.”

“I assume you know who I am and why you're here so I'll get straight to the point. You are to make sure my children are cared for whilst I am away. They attend the local school starting nine hundred hours sharp and finishing at fifteen hundred hours” Serena had expected the Major to use military time references and wasn't surprised to hear them. “They come home, do their homework and then have dinner after which they are free to do their own thing. Cameron attends football after school on a Wednesday and Thursday from fifteen hundred hours to sixteen hundred hours whilst Charlotte attends chess club on a Friday from fifteen hundred hours to sixteen thirty hundred hours. You are free to do what you wish during the time they're at school and at their after school clubs.” It was well organized as Serena was expected. Their schedule was completed with military precision. “At weekends they are not allowed to play until they have done their homework and study. They are restricted to one hour of play on their games consoles a day and are only allowed friends over on a weekend.”

“Do they have any allergies I should know about?”

“No. My housekeeper Jasmine does the grocery shopping every month and the children have set meals for each day. They are not allowed any sugary things of any kind including sugary drinks, sweets or any dessert of any kind including ice cream.” Serena couldn't believe how strict the Major was being with her childrens' diets. They had no allergies so why restrict their diets? “Also junk food such as pizza, burgers, kebabs etcetera are not allowed. You, however, may eat what you want when you dine with the rest of my staff.” Serena wanted to say something but refrains knowing it would only land her in deep water on her first day. “My staff comprises of a housekeeper, two gardeners and a chef. They are aware of your coming today and I'm sure will make you feel welcome.”

“I'm sure they will” 

“I do have one request. You are not go into any of the rooms on the third floor do I make myself clear” Third floor? They must be her rooms Serena muses. She would never invade The Major's privacy. 

“Yes Major” 

“Now if you'll excuse me I have to finish packing” With that The Major turns on heel and walks of the library leaving Serena in a slight daze. After a few minutes Jasmine reappears and smiles weakly 

“The Major likes everything to be military standard. You'll get used to it.” Serena looks at the young woman and nods her head slowly. “If you'd like to follow me I'll show you to your room.” Serena picks up her suitcase and follows Jasmine to the second floor. Her room was at the end of a lengthy corridor. “This will be your room” Jasmine steps aside to allow Serena into the room. It was light and airy with a double bed in the middle of the room. There was a wardrobe, a dresser and a vanity table in the room as well. “Your en-suite is just through there. There has are fresh towels in the dresser. Any laundry must be put in the basket in the en-suite and put outside on an evening.”

“I'm sure I'll get into the swing of things fairly quickly.” Serena sets her suitcase down on the bed and takes in her new digs for the next six months to a year. It was clean, functional and comfortable. She knew she'd be okay with this room. It had a stunning view of the back gardens

“The children usually dine around six and staff around half seven. You can eat in here if you want providing that any dirty plates and cutlery are washed and left outside to collect with laundry in a morning.” 

“Thank you Jasmine.” The housekeeper leaves Serena to unpack and take in her first meeting with the Major. It had been unnerving in some ways and enlightening in others. Serena had not expected such a strict regime for the children especially their diets. The house seemed to be run like a military base. Everything had to be done to a high standard with set times for various things. The Major seemed to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders. It was clear she didn't get much sleep but how tired the woman looked. Perhaps she was so used to being in another country and time zone that her body clock didn't adjust itself or perhaps there were other reasons, reasons that Serena knew were very possible. Night terrors being one and insomnia for another or perhaps both. Serena knew that many soldiers who had seen action suffered from night terrors. It came with the territory and god knows what The Major must have seen down the years, the horrors she has witnessed. Serena knew that the Major was haunted, perhaps by her dreams but perhaps by something else.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Serena explores the vast gardens and meets the Major's children.

Chapter 3

Serena settled in quickly and decided to explore the gardens. She stopped by the scented rose garden and smiled as the various scents invaded her senses 

“The roses are beautiful this time of year” Serena turned around to look at the source of the voice. A young man dressed in coveralls, a t-shirt, jeans and workman's boots. “I'm Adrian Fletcher. Head gardener- people call me Fletch” 

“I'm Serena Campbell, the new nanny” The pair shook hands before looking at the roses again “You keep the gardens immaculate. They're very beautiful”

“Thank you. The Major used to love walking around in them. This part was always her favourite” Fletch kneeled down and started to remove some of the growing weeds from amongst the bed of roses

“Used to?”

“Yeah” It was clear Serena wasn't going to get anything more from Fletch as he stood, his hands full of weeds. He smiled at Serena weakly before turning on heel and departing from the garden, leaving Serena to admire the flowers. After a few minutes walking around the rose garden Serena moves onto the orchard at the far side of the garden. The trees were in blossom preparing for a summer that Serena hoped would be a productive one should the trees be old enough to produce fruit. The scents of the various fruit bearing trees hit Serena. Apple, cherry, plum... Serena knew she would spend a lot of time here and in the other parts of the garden when the children were at school

“Beautiful aren't they? It'll be their first year of producing fruit so hopefully we'll get a decent harvest” Serena was startled by the voice in the trees. She looked around to see if she could locate the source “Sorry I didn't mean to startle you” Another young man appeared in front of her dressed in exactly the same gear as Fletch, only this young man had a broad Scottish accent “I'm Raf Di Lucca. I'm the other gardener here.”

“Oh. I've already met your colleague. I'm Serena Campbell” The pair shook hands 

“Oh the new nanny”

“Yes.”

“So what do you think of the gardens? The kids don't usually spend a lot of time in them and The Major... well she's never around long enough now to enjoy them like she used to” The pair begun to walk through the trees back towards the house. Serena knew that the children would be getting home from school shortly and that she needed to be there to greet them 

“They're beautiful. I'm a keen gardener myself when I have the time” 

“You should come and help us when the kids are at school. We always need an extra pair of hands around the place” Serena smiled brightly at the invitation and knew she couldn't turn such an offer down

“I'd like that thank you Mr Di Lucca”

“It's Raf. Mr Di Lucca is my father” The pair chuckled as they came back into the main lawn area of the gardens. “I'd best head back to the orchard. Some of the trees have mites and I need to treat them so the mites don't spread. It was good to meet you Ms Campbell”

“It's Serena and it was a pleasure to meet you as well Raf” Serena looked on as Raf jogged back towards the orchard. Once he was out of sight she turned on heel and headed back into the house. She headed back upstairs and bumped into Jasmine just as she had turned to head to her room “Oh Jasmine. When are the children expected home?”

“In about half an hour. They go straight into the library to their homework.” 

“Thanks” Serena headed to her room and grabbed her reading glasses before she made for the library. She may as well be there when the children came in. Her gaze drifted to the photo of the Major and the other army officer. She sighed and turned her gaze back to the table. She wouldn't pry into The Major's history. That wasn't what she was here to do. So it wouldn't be a boring half an hour Serena decided to start and read one of the many books that lined the many bookcases. She stood up and immediately headed for the classics. She hadn't read Austen in a while. She took the copy of Pride and Prejudice and smiled. That would be do. She settled back into her seat and opened it up. She furrowed her brow when she saw an inscription on the inner cover 

'To Bernie  
I hope I'll always be the Elizabeth to your Darcy'  
Love Alex xx'

Serena's interest peaked but she knew that she was only an employee and had no right to delve into The Major's past. She quickly turned the page and settled into reading. About thirty five minutes later the library door opened and in came two children. Serena looked up from her book and smiled. The two children stopped dead in their tracks and looked at Serena as if had grown two heads

“Who are you?” The girl asked as she stood next to the older boy

“I'm Serena Campbell. Your new nanny. You must be Cameron and Charlotte” Serena saw the childrens' shoulders had slumped at the news. Had their mother not told them they were to get a new nanny? The children sat down and opened their bags. They took out their homework books and settled into doing the various subjects that had set homework. 

“How long are you going to be here?” Serena looked at the young boy and sat forward. She had always been good at reading children 

“Between six months and year” Cameron nodded his head before he returned to his homework “How many nannies have you had?”

“Including you? Six” Serena couldn't believe that the family had gone through six nannies in the space of a couple of years. The group sat in silence with the children doing their homework and Serena reading her book “Mum is going away again isn't she?”

“She hasn't told you?” The children said nothing and Serena's heart broke. They were estranged. It certainly seemed that way to Serena. “Yes she is.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Serena gets to work on breaking down the walls surrounding the Major's children and The Major has some news for the new nanny, news that could make her job either easier or a lot harder

Chapter 4

After the children had completed their homework they headed up to their rooms to change and have their hour on their consoles. Serena followed them intent on trying to get to know them if they would let her. She found herself surprised to enter a nursery. Each child had their room neither side of the nursery and it acted as a joint area to play. The nursery had changed time after time as the children grew older and it now looked as it was rarely used. 

“Remember you're only allowed one hour on your consoles” There were various family photos that lined the walls of the room. A reminder of happier times perhaps?. The children went into their rooms and closed their doors behind them. Serena sighed and shook her head. The children were practically strangers to each other. The entire situation brought so many memories back for the nanny of her own fractured family life when she was a child. Serena started to look around the room, looking at the various photos on the walls. Some were just of Cameron and Charlotte together from when they were younger but some were of a family. The man in the family photos must be the father. He was a handsome man with a kind face. It was clear from the photos that there had been so much love in this house so what changed? Why had it become a house of a fractured and distant family? 

“That was before” Charlotte. Serena turned around and saw Charlotte stood in the open doorway to her room. “Before everything broke” Serena watched as the young girl came over to her and looked up at the photo with a sad smile “Before mum broke everything” 

“What do you mean?”

“Mum hurt Dad so he left” What could have The Major done that warranted the family to break apart? Had she cheated? Had her work become more important than her family? Serena was full of questions that needed answers if she was going to bring this family back together again “And now Dad doesn't want anything to do with us. He just left us here with her” Serena knelt down and rubbed Charlotte's arm hoping that it would make the girl feel better. Serena felt so sorry for the children who had been caught in the crossfire between mother and father. Their mother was so cold that she acted as if her own children were nothing to her and their father had just left them, moved to the other side of the world and re-married. This was no life for a child yet it was normality for so many. “Cam and I are so miserable here”

“How about we try and make it better?”

“How?” Serena had seen the chessboard the moment she had entered the room and knew that if she could find something in common with the children then they might be begin to trust her and open up 

“Well, for starters, how about a game of chess? I used to play with my own daughter” Charlotte smiled brightly and rushed over to the chessboard, setting up the pieces so she and Serena could play. Serena smiled and stood up, moving over to the board. Serena had lost her own daughter in a custody battle with her ex husband. She rarely saw her daughter these days and wished that she had fought harder to keep her and to see her. 

“How old is your daughter?” Charlotte made the first move and Serena knew that if the young girl was as good as Elinor had been she'd be in trouble 

“She'll be thirteen this year. She lives with her father” Serena moved her piece and watched as Charlotte thought about her move “I try and see her as much as I can but with this job it's very hard”

“Because you have to stay with people?” Charlotte took one of Serena's pawns, setting it down on the floor 

“That's part of the reason. I have a nephew as well who needs a lot of care” Serena moved another one of her pieces trying to figure out how to win this match 

“Mum needed a lot of care once. She got hurt when she was away. Dad took really good care of her” The life of a soldier, whether you were combat or not, was always dangerous so it didn't surprise Serena to learn The Major had been injured. 

“Your mum is very brave” Serena watched again as Charlotte took another of her pieces. The young girl was an impressive player 

“That's what everyone says. No one talks about what mum does. They keep telling Cam and I we're too young to know about it” Charlotte looked as if she was going to win this game very quickly the way Serena kept losing pieces. Serena knew that by shielding the children from the nature of their mother's job, it would only make them more curious and more hostile towards their mother 

“I'm not saying that it's right to keep you away from the knowledge about what your mum does but they're doing it for a reason. You are too young to understand some of it Charlotte. Your mum has a dangerous job and its important you remember that okay?” The young girl nodded and turned her focus back to the game and before the hour was up Serena had been beaten. Charlotte was an immensely talented chess player 

“I win!” 

“Yes you do. You're a very good player for someone so young” The pair turned when they heard Cameron's door creak open. The young boy came out of his room and looked at Serena and his sister “Are you alright Cameron?”

“Just got bored of my game” 

“Why don't you come and join your sister and I? I was going to read some Harry Potter before you two head down for dinner” Serena could see Cameron's eyes light up at the suggestion of Harry Potter 

“Really?” 

“Yes. Come and sit down and if you're really well behaved tonight I could read some more before you head to bed?” Cameron smiled weakly as he came over sitting down next to his little sister. Serena began to read to them and saw this as one of the ways to win their trust. The trio were so engrossed in the story that the time flew by and before they knew it was six pm and the childrens' dinner time “Okay you two head down to dinner. I'll be here when you get back” The children headed down to dinner leaving Serena to clear up the chess set. She hoped that she could make the childrens' lives more bearable. 

“The Major wants to see you” Serena jumped at the sound of Jasmine's voice that came from the doorway of the nursery. She sighed and nodded her head following Jasmine down to the Major's study. Jasmine left her at the door as she knocked and awaited permission to enter

“Come in” Serena opened the door to the study and walked in. The Major was sitting behind her desk, her seat turned away from the door looking out across the gardens. She closed the door behind her and watched The Major gaze out of the window

“You wanted to see me” The Major turned her head to look at Serena and nodded gesturing to the chair on the other side of the desk. Serena walked over and sat down, the Major swivelled around to face her 

“I have received a phone call from my mother. She's coming to see the children whilst I'm gone and is going to stay for a few weeks. She usually goes out through the day and sometimes in the evening so whilst she will be available to take the children from time to time you'll still be needed.” There was a hint of trepidation in The Major's voice about her mother coming to stay. It must be a regular thing Serena thought 

“Yes Major. It'll be good for the children to see their grandmother.” The Major nodded and looked up from her desk 

“She likes to spoil them when I'm on tour so I would appreciate it if you were to keep a close eye on their sugar intake and their toy collection” Those brown eyes were full of sorrow and guilt. Serena could see it as it overflowed on to the Major's weary shoulders. 

“Of course Major. Is that all?” 

“Yes. You may go” Serena knew that was a dismissal and stood from the desk. She took one last look at the Major before she walked out of the study and back upstairs to the nursery. The imminent arrival of The Major's mother did little to settle Serena's nerves about trying to get the children to trust her. The chess game and the reading was only one small step. These children had so many walls built between them and around them that it would be difficult to find a way to break them down. Serena knew that their grandmother could hold the key but she didn't want to allow the grandmother to undermine the Major's rules when it came to the children and drive mother and children even further apart, if that were possible, then they are now. These were going to be a tough few weeks.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just a filler chapter exploring more of Serena's character.

Chapter 5

The Major was gone when the children and Serena awoke the next morning. The brunette had been up early and had seen the Major leave the house. Not even a goodbye to her children. What had The Major gone through to make her so cold? Serena could only wonder. By seven thirty am Jasmine had laid out breakfast then gone food shopping, leaving Serena in charge of the house and getting the children out of bed which she did with great success. 

“Mum left this morning...” Serena looked at Cameron then at Charlotte as they tucked into their breakfasts. They looked so upset about not being able to say goodbye to their mother. 

“Your mother told me last night your grandmother has called and said she'd be coming to visit” The children suddenly perked up at the mention of their grandmother coming to visit. It was clear that they looked forward to the visits

“Did she say when?” Cam practically bounced up and down in his seat at the news of his grandmother coming to visit 

“No she didn't” Even though Serena hadn't given them a definite time of arrival for their grandmother, the children were excited and looking forward to spending time with her. “Okay you two head upstairs to get ready for school” The children hastily finished their breakfasts and headed upstairs to get ready for school. Serena helped stack the plates into a neat pile for Jasmine to take away before she headed upstairs herself to get ready for the day ahead. She wondered if Jason and Alan were free for coffee later? She missed her nephew even-though it had only been two days. Once the children were dressed and their homework and lunches packed into their bags they headed down to Serena's car “Cam I will see you at four on the dot and Charlotte I will see you at three.”

“Oh my football gear!” Cameron ran back into the house to retrieve his football kit and boots, Serena and Charlotte shook their heads before Serena helped Charlotte into the car “Sorry” Cam rushed back out of the house muttering the apology as he gets into the car 

“It's okay Cam.” Once Serena was sure the children were buckled in she drove them to school and dropped them across the road. “See you later you two” The children hopped out of the car and strolled across the road waving to Serena. Once the pair had joined their friends Serena drove away and headed back to the house. Serena headed into the kitchen to see if Jasmine was back from the shops yet but there was no sign of the young blonde so she headed upstairs and back to her room. She called Alan and hoped that it wasn't too early 

“Hello?”

“Alan it's Serena. Are you and Jason free to meet up today? I have some time to kill and I would love to see Jason” 

“Of course Serena. How about lunch?” Serena smiled and looked at her watch. She calculated the time it would take to beat the Holby traffic coming into the city around lunch time 

“Say half past 12?” Serena knew the earlier she got into Holby the better it would be. Holby was a nightmare during the day

“Sounds good. Are you coming here?” Serena knew that Jason hated eating in restaurants and cafes so going back to her house would be the better option. 

“Yes that'll be perfect. See you then Alan” Serena hung up beaming. She couldn't wait to see her nephew. She looked at the time and decided to go into town now and do some shopping before meeting Jason and Alan back at her house. Whilst she was out Serena decided to buy the children some Harry Potter themed t-shirts and hoped they liked them. Once she was done Serena headed back home to see her nephew “Jason? Alan?”

“Auntie Serena!” Serena was suddenly engulfed in a tight hug from her nephew “I've missed you”

“I've missed you too Jason but I also need to breath” Jason let go of his auntie so she was able to get her breathe back “Hello Alan” Serena waved to the man who was sitting in the kitchen reading a newspaper   
“Hello Serena.” Jason retreated back into the living room to resume his viewing of The World's Strongest Man whilst Serena headed into the kitchen to start lunch “How's the job going?”

“It's fine. It's going well. The house and gardens are amazing. I'm pretty much free to do what I want during the day whilst the kids are at school” Serena got the ingredients out to make a grilled chicken salad and started to slice up the cherry tomatoes 

“And how are the kids?”

“They're... they're isolated from their mother. The Major is quite a cool customer who maintains quite a bit of distance between herself and everyone in the household however I expect a thaw with the Major leaving this morning for her final tour” 

“Isolated how?”

“They don't see or speak to her.” Alan gave out a low whistle and turned his attention away from his paper to look at Serena “Charlotte rather gave me the impression that The Major was responsible for the breakup of her marriage to the kids' father” Serena put the chicken breasts under the grill, turning on the grill “Their grandmother is coming to visit sometime in the near future and they were quite excited about that so hopefully they'll come out of their shells a little bit more” 

“And the Major?” 

“I've only spoken to her twice. She is... well she's a typical military officer. She has such a presence about her, she commands attention the moment she walks into a room but she's closed off, cold. I think she's suffered during her tours, perhaps lost someone close to her to make her as cold as she is.” 

“My grandpa was a soldier. He had a certain bearing as well” Serena tossed the tomatoes into the salad bowl and started to cut up the lettuce “He never used to talk about the war. Too many bad memories he used to say”

“I can't imagine what the Major has seen or understand the effect it has had on her but to isolate herself from her own children...”

“Some people close themselves off to prevent hurt to others and perhaps the Major doesn't want the kids to be exposed to the world she has been privy to” Serena knew Alan had a point. Charlotte had mentioned about people keeping her and her brother away from the media coverage of what was happening in Afghanistan, Iraq and Syria and what the world had turned in to. 

“Perhaps you're right” 

“Your priority is the children, not their mother. You need to concentrate on what is best for the children” Serena knew Alan was, once again, right. She was hired to look after the needs of the children not their parent yet something about the Major tugged at her heart, made her want to help the woman who had become so cold and closed off from the world around her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just a filler chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait but I've had serious writer's block. This chapter is a little crap if I'm being honest but I know that future chapters will be better I promise

Chapter 6

Serena was there at the school gates for exactly three pm. She saw Charlotte with her friends and smiled. She could barely remember her school days but she had always loved to hang out with her friends for a little bit after school. She waited for a few minutes before Charlotte walked over to the car and got in 

“Good day?” 

“It was okay. Same as always” Serena knew that was the only answer she was going to get so drove back to the house. Charlotte had her iPod in and was busy texting her friends when they pulled up. Charlotte jumped out of the car and headed into the house. Serena sighed and quickly followed. Just when she thought she was making head ways with the kids, they clammed up again. Jasmine was busy in the hallway when Serena walked into the house 

“Good afternoon Jasmine”

“Hello Serena. Good day?” Serena smiled as she closed the door and nodded her head. It had been good to spend time with Jason and Alan 

“Yes. I went to see my nephew” Serena walked past the library to make sure Charlotte was doing her homework before she made her way over to Jasmine

“How is he?” 

“He's fine. He has his carer with him so he's settled” Serena hung up her coat and casually leaned against the door-frame 

“Carer?”

“Oh my nephew has Asperger's Syndrome. It's a form of autism.” 

“Oh. He must find it hard to be away from you”

“Sometimes but he understands what my job requires. He was rather miffed when I told him how long I'd be away this time but we talked about it and he's okay with it as long as I visit when I can”

“Do you find it hard to care for him?” Jasmine was curious about the life Serena led away from being a nanny. She was interested and hoped she and Serena could become friends. The staff of the house were a little family in themselves. They looked out for one another and Jasmine wanted Serena to feel the same way. 

“Sometimes. He can get stroppy very easily and is unable to socialise normally. He hates big crowds, unfamiliar places and vast amounts of noise. It can be difficult” 

“Serena!” The voice of Charlotte interrupted the conservation between the pair and Serena excused herself and went into the library to see what the problem was “I'm stuck on a question”

“Okay what's the question?” Serena had barely experienced this with her own daughter and it saddened her but Elinor chose to be with her father so Serena had to lie in the bed that she had made for herself. The pair worked together to finish the homework off before Charlotte disappeared upstairs. Serena checked her watch and knew she had to go and pick Cameron up from football 

“Are you here for Cameron Dunn?” Serena looked at the woman who approached her dressed in a tight fitting t shirt, shorts and football boots 

“Yes I'm Serena Campbell, Cameron's current guardian. Where is he?”  
“I tried the house phone but no one answered. Cameron got tackled quite hard and it looks like his ankle is badly sprained. He's at Holby City hospital” Serena ran to her car and headed to Holby. She parked up and rushed into A&E and looked around for Cameron.

“Serena. I'm over here” Serena looked up at the source of the voice and saw Cameron sitting with another teacher. She sighed in relief and headed over to him 

“I'm Serena Campbell, Cameron's guardian at present.” Serena kneeled down in front of him and takes a look at the ankle. She could see immediately that it was swollen. “Looks to be a nasty sprain Cam.” 

“I didn't realise the Major had gone on another tour” Serena looked up at the teacher that was sat beside Cameron and raised an eyebrow “Sorry I'm Ms Essie Harrison. I'm a Biology teacher by trade but I often help out at after school football”

“It's good to meet you” Serena shook the woman's hand and got up from the floor. She sat down next to Cameron “The Major left this morning. She'll be gone for six months” Essie nodded her head and looked at Cam. Everyone in the area knew about The Major's divorce and the distance she had put between herself and her children. No one knew the true story as to why Bernie and Marcus divorced but there was rumours of infidelity. 

After an hour or so Cameron was called through to the examination room. Cameron tugged on Serena's hand and she smiled. The pair headed into the room leaving Essie in the waiting room. Cameron's limp was pronounced 

“Good afternoon Cameron I'm Dr Valentine. I hear you've had a little bit of an accident” Serena helped Cameron onto the bed and sat down in the chair in the corner. 

“My ankle was busted up in a hard tackle” As the Doctor flexed the ankle Cameron winced a little. He looked up at Cameron at the sound of the hiss of the wince. 

“Okay... I think an x-ray is in order just be on the safe side. I suspect it's just a bad sprain but I'd like to rule out a hairline fracture” Serena headed back into the waiting room and sat back down next to Essie as Cameron is taken down for an x-ray 

“Just taking him for an x-ray to be on the safe side” Essie nodded her head and looked at Serena, questions rolled around her mind 

“How much do you know about the Major's marriage?” 

“Nothing above what I told by my boss. Why?”

“There have been rumours about what led to the break down of what was a secure and happy marriage” Serena knew she had no right to be prying into the lives of the children or the Major but she needed to understand why Marcus had left the children with their mother and why the children were so distant from her. From what Charlotte had said the breakdown of her parents' marriage seemed to have been something the Major had done or said “Rumours of an affair between the Major and someone she served with in the army”

“Then why didn't Marcus take the children with him when he left?” 

“Because of Bernie's mother. She insisted the children stay with their mother and Marcus was only too happy to leave them. He had practically raised them since they were born and I suppose he wanted to be free of the house husband thing and concentrate on his career” 

“But they're his kids.”

“They were both at fault when it came to the children but at least the divorce was amiable to a point. They spilt the money and Bernie got the house. Neither of them are strapped for cash. Bernie's father left her a small fortune and Marcus's mother made sure he would be provided for.” 

“You said the divorce was amiable to a point. What did you mean?” Essie looked at Serena and sighed. She had been witness to one of the many arguments between the Major and Marcus towards the end of the marriage and had seen and heard some vicious things 

“I think Marcus knew Bernie had been unfaithful. I remember a row just before the divorce was finalised, it happened outside the school gates just before the Major then Captain was due to go back on tour.” 

“Was this the tour that ended in the rescue mission?” 

“Yes. I heard Marcus say something about a book and someone called Alex. Bernie denied it all. Said it was a gift from a friend but I don't think Marcus was stupid enough to believe it.” A book? Alex? Could it be possible that Marcus had found the copy of Pride and Prejudice that was in the library and made a link between Bernie and this Alex 

“Marcus agreed, that for the childrens' sake, that he would remain in the house whilst Bernie was on tour however that changed when Bernie came back injured.” 

“He stayed longer?”

“Until Bernie had fully recovered then he left to go to Australia. The children were heartbroken.” Serena sighed and rubbed the back of her neck. She was just about to say something when Cameron and Dr Valentine came back

“Cam. Doctor. Is everything okay?” Cameron hobbled over to Serena and Ellie and sat down next to them. He looked pretty peeved. Serena knew that he wouldn't be able to play football for while

“Yes it's just a bad sprain so he won't be able to play football for a couple of weeks” Cam huffed and folded his arms across his chest. This wasn't going to end well. Serena knew Cameron had been close to making the first team for the rest of the season and this injury had set it back. 

“Cam it'll be fine. You'll still be able to make the first team”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cameron is sulking, Charlotte is practising and Bernie's mother comes to visit allowing an alliance to be created between nanny and grandmother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SO SORRY! I've had writer's block and the lack of inspiration isn't helping either but the updates will be more frequent now I promise

Chapter 7

With Cameron unable to play football, he was bored and irritable. He had hardly come out of his room since he got back from the hospital, not wanting to see his main rival, Mikey Fletcher, practising for Cameron's position in the team and what made matters worse was Charlotte had been selected for her school chess team which had made her very excited, adding to Cameron's irritability

“Cam why don't we head out into the garden? It's a beautiful evening and you can do your homework on the patio” Cameron huffed and shook his head. Serena had tried everything to make the young boy feel better but nothing had worked. Football was an important part of Cameron's boyhood and it had been stripped away from him, even if it was only temporary. 

“I'm fine here thanks Serena” Serena sighed and looked over to Charlotte, who had been busy practising her chess moves for the first round of matches next week. 

“Okay. Okay” Serena sat back down with her laptop and continued what she was doing. A few moments later there was a bustle of activity in the hallway that gave Serena pause to go and find out what was going on 

“Hell Jasmine dear. How are you?” The voice that came from the hall way wasn't one Serena was familiar with but immediately found out who it was when Charlotte barrelled past her and into the arms of the unknown woman 

“Grandma!” So that was Bernie's mother. Serena took in the woman's appearance and saw the familial similarities and where Bernie had gotten some of her facial features. 

“Oh Lottie my darling! You've grown since I last saw you”

“I've missed you so much grandma” Serena looked at Jasmine, who smiled softly. It was clear to Serena that Cameron and Charlotte hadn't seen their grandmother, the way Charlotte hugged the woman tightly 

“Where's your brother?” Charlotte detached herself from her grandmother and shook her head 

“He's sulking in the library. He got hurt at training last week so he can't play football” Serena cleared her throat and gained the attention of Charlotte and her grandmother “Oh grandma this is Serena Campbell, our nanny” The grandmother looked Serena up and down in an attempt to measure Serena up but Serena wasn't intimidated by the grandmother's arrival and would continue to do what she was hired to do and look after the two children “Serena this is our grandma Beatrice”

“Oh yes Berenice told me you'd be here. It's a pleasure to meet you” Beatrice extended a hand, which Serena took and shook in good will “I hope my grandchildren haven't been too much trouble”

“They've been no trouble at all Mrs Wolfe.”

“Oh please call me Beatrice. Mrs Wolfe was my mother in law” Charlotte raced back into the library whilst Jasmine carried Beatrice's bags upstairs. Serena and Beatrice wandered into the library and Cameron was on his feet on his way to the door “Cameron! Oh you have been in the wars haven't you?” Beatrice pulled the boy into her arms and hugged him close to her 

“We've missed you Gran” Cameron muttered quietly as he hugged his grandmother back. The elder Wolfe looked at Serena, who smiled weakly. Surely Beatrice knew what affect her daughter's prolonged absence and continuous increase in distance from her own children would have on them further down the line?

“Why don't you and Lottie head out into the gardens for a little while? The fresh air will do you both good” 

“I'm fine thanks Gran I'd rather sit here and read” Cameron went back to his book whilst Charlotte went back to the chess board. Beatrice looked at the children and shook her head. They were more isolated than ever especially from each other. Serena could see Beatrice was distressed by the situation that laid in front of them and guided her out into the garden 

“This is the worst it's ever been... damn my daughter and that pathetic excuse she calls an ex husband” Beatrice sat down in a patio seat and sighed heavily. Serena closed the patio doors and sat down opposite the grandmother. She could see that Beatrice had seen the break down on her family from the moment it had begun and it had had a devastating effect on her “I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that”

“It's fine. I've never seen such a broken family before... it breaks my heart”

“It's partially my fault and my late husband's.” Serena couldn't imagine why the break down of the family would be Beatrice's fault nor the fault of Bernie's late father. “If we had accepted Bernie...”

“Accepted her? What do you mean?”

'Berenice is gay Ms Campbell.” Gay? The Major was a lesbian. This information finally put the last pieces together. The book, Alex, the now closed off Major. She had lost her lover. “And that Alex woman was Bernie's lover in the army.”

“Then why did she marry?”

“Because we forced her to. We didn't understand, we didn't want to understand I suppose and now look at what it has done to our family...” Serena swallowed the lump in her throat and sought to comfort Beatrice but knew it may not have been welcome. “William accepted Berenice on his death bed and told me to accept her too so I did but by then the damage had been done.”

“When I was eighteen I had a relationship with a woman. Sian. She's still my best friend. I never told my mother until she was dying. Adrienne... she was a harsh woman but a good mother and she told me that love is love, no matter who you give it to”

“Your mother sounded like an extraordinary woman”

“She was but she didn't approve of my marriage, she told me it wouldn't last and she was right. She was always right” The pair chuckled before Beatrice looked back at the library through the patio doors “We can help them be happy”

“Berenice doesn't like me to spoil them”

“I'm not the Major and I won't tell” Beatrice looked at Serena and tried to read the woman who sat across from her. She smiled and nodded her head. She had found an ally and it would an alliance that would prove to be very successful

“I want to heal the bonds that have been broken Ms Campbell”

“If we're to work together I think you should call me Serena” Beatrice laughed and looked at Serena before she looked over the gardens “It won't be easy but I think we can succeed”

“I think so too. Hard work and perseverance will win the battle”

“But what will win the war?” Serena asked Beatrice as she made reference to the broken relationship between not just a brother and sister but a mother and her children. Beatrice didn't answer and in that moment the pair knew that the war would be a long and difficult one if they were bring the family back together.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Serena and Beatrice hatch a plan to bring Cameron and Charlotte closer. Will it work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so so sorry. Ive been under alot of stress lately and haven't had time to write a new chapter.

Chapter 8

After the children had their evening meal, their grandmother brought them down into the living room where Serena had waited with popcorn and the children's favourite evening drinks and a favourite film 

“What's all this? We usually play on our consoles after dinner” Charlotte looked at set up, bewildered at what her nanny and her grandmother had done

“Yes well... that may be good for your mother but as far as I am concerned Lottie it's about time you and your brother were siblings again rather than perfect strangers” Cameron shuffled his feet and looked over at Charlotte with that same hooded look Beatrice had known her daughter to give once upon a time “Your mother has chosen grief over her family but I will not allow her children, my grandchildren and their relationship to be collateral damage”

“Gran is right Lottie... we've allowed mum to drive us apart. We were so close once and I miss you so much” Serena looked at the young boy and watched a tear slide down his cheek as the pain of losing his sister came to light. “I miss being able to be a big brother...” Serena got up and went to comfort the young boy and held him close to her as he wept silently into her shirt. 

“Why don't we all watch a film? We've got Wreck It Ralph in the player, popcorn and hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows” Charlotte silently sat down on one of the bean bags as Cameron and Serena moved over to curl up on the sofa and Beatrice sat down in the armchair, her eyes trained on Charlotte as she pressed the play button.

As the film went on Serena heard the soft whimpers that came from Charlotte as the full impact of Cameron's words hit her head on. She looked at Cameron but he just curled further into her. It was becoming all too clear to Serena the consequences of The Major's behaviour had had on the children and how hard it would be repair the broken bonds between brother and sister never-mind mother and children. Once the film was done Charlotte got up and approached her brother. Serena watched as the younger sibling sat down next to her brother. 

“Cammy? I'm sorry” Cameron glanced towards his sister before he cuddled closer to Serena. “Cammy?” Charlotte snuggled into her brother and cried into his jumper. Serena watched as Cameron lifted his arm and put it around his little sister. Serena looked over at Beatrice and smiled softly. The older woman wiped away a stray tear and nodded her head. One step at a time. 

“Come on you two. Up to bed.” Beatrice said as she rained in her emotions. The siblings looked up and nodded their heads. The pair sat up and looked at their nanny and grandmother. “Cameron maybe you could read to your sister tonight?” Cameron looked down at his little sister and nodded his head with a small smile on his lips. Charlotte wrapped her arms around her big brother and hugged him tightly. The siblings headed up to bed followed by Serena and Beatrice “One small step”

“Indeed.” The twins separated and headed into their rooms leaving Serena and Beatrice to tidy up the shared space “Perhaps tomorrow we could take them out? If you're not busy that is?”

“I think that is a good plan however I am busy tomorrow”

“Then I'll take them out. Since it's the weekend they deserve a treat. Maybe the zoo then a picnic.” Beatrice smiled and nodded her head. She knew that was just what the children needed. A few moments later the children re-appeared in the 'nursery' dressed in their nightwear, Cameron clutching the Harry Potter book they had been reading. “Okay you two. How does a trip to the zoo and a picnic sound for tomorrow?”

“Really?!” The two children looked so excited at the prospect of having a day trip that it made Serena's heart soar. 

“Really.” The two children ran at Serena and threw their arms around her. Beatrice smiled and excused herself from the room as her grandchildren and their nanny bonded. Beatrice found she didn't mind Cameron and Charlotte bonding with Serena because she knew that they needed another role model in their life and Serena was the perfect choice. “Cam why don't you and Lottie sit down and read together? I'm just going to go and tell Jasmine about our picnic tomorrow and ask her to throw something together”

“Okay” The siblings sat down on the bean bags and Serena watched as Cameron began to read to his sister. She began to think about what she and her own sister had missed out on and knew that if she and Beatrice could bring Cameron and Charlotte back together again then the part of her that resented her mother for keeping the fact she had a sister from her would wither away. Serena watched for a few moments longer before she headed downstairs and into the kitchens. She found Jasmine, Raf and Fletch all sat around the table having something to eat “Sorry to disturb you...” The trio looked up and immediately stood up and to attention. Serena knew that they must do that when the Major came to see them during meal times “At ease.”

“Sorry... it's just we're used to having to stand to attention when the Major's around” Fletch said as he resumed his seat at the table 

“Well I'm not the Major and you don't have to stand to attention for me got it?” The trio smiled and nodded their heads as Jasmine and Raf resumed their seats “Jasmine I was wondering if you could make up a picnic for the children and I tomorrow? We're heading to the zoo and I thought it would be good to take a picnic” Serena could see the surprise spread across the faces of the trio at the table at the knowledge that the children would, for the first time in a while, be taken out on an outing. 

“Eh- Eh yes I think I have some things that would make up a good picnic” 

“Wonderful. Have it ready by 9:30?” Jasmine nodded her head as Serena turned on heel and headed back upstairs to see to the children. The young blonde sat back in her chair and looked around Fletch then Raf as the trio realised that things were about to change. 

When Serena came back into the 'nursery' she found Cameron and Charlotte asleep on the bean bags and resting against each other. She chuckled as she approached them. She knelt down and stroked their hair one after the other. She looked around her to see if there was a blanket she could drape over them and saw a patch work blanket covering Charlotte's bed. She stood up and went to retrieve it before draping it across the two children. “Sweet dreams you two. See you in the morning.” She dropped a kiss on to each of their foreheads before she turned off the bedroom light, leaving only the night lights on and closed the door.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Serena takes the kids out for an outing to the zoo then a picnic, the kids have a movie night that turns from Harry Potter to Disney and Beatrice and Serena bond over family matters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the wait. My life has been a mess recently and I've struggled to write.

Chapter 9

The next morning the children were up and ready by half past nine and were anxious to go on their trip. Beatrice had left early and had left her mobile number with Jasmine so she could pass it on to Serena should she needed be to contacted for any reason. Serena had been up early and in the kitchen so she could help Jasmine prepare a nice picnic 

“Looks really good. Hopefully the kids will agree:” Serena closed the lid to the picnic basket and did up the straps “I'll leave you my mobile number if that's okay?”

“Of course.” Jasmine smiled softly at Serena as the brunette wrote down her mobile number. She passed it to the young blonde before she picked up the picnic basket and headed upstairs. There was the sound of excited chatter in the living room as the kids animatedly discussed what sort of animals they would see 

“Okay you two. Get your shoes on and head out to the car” 

“Yey!” Cameron and Charlotte ran past Serena to the front door and quickly pulled on their shoes. Serena couldn't help but laugh at their enthusiasm as she followed, picnic basket in tow. The children piled into the car as Serena put the picnic basket in the boot of her car.

“Okay you two settle down” Serena closed the boot then made her way to the driver's seat. Cameron and Charlotte stopped the messing around and sat straight in the back when Serena got into the car. She smiled as Charlotte rested her head on Cameron's shoulder. It was progress. She started the car and headed off to the zoo. 

“Serena are you going to leave when mum gets back?” Charlotte asked quietly already knowing the answer. She knew that once her mum came back everything would go back to the way they had been

“You know I am Charlotte... As long as you and Cam don't allow her to break you apart again you'll be fine” Charlotte nodded against her brother's shoulder and smiled weakly. Serena hoped that the siblings would stay strong and remain close even after their mother came back. “Your mother is difficult but I believe she does love you both. She's just lost at the moment.”

“Because of what happened to her friend?” Cameron asked Serena softly, his sister's head had become heavy on his shoulder. He shrugged her off and she sat up straight

“Grief affects people in many ways as it has your mother.” The roads were busier than Serena had expected and the traffic had become heavy towards the city centre “Did you two meet Alex?”

“A few times. She came over whenever Mum came home. She seemed nice” Charlotte turned her head and looked out at the passing traffic. 

“Dad hated it when she was there” Serena looked in her mirror and saw how distant Charlotte had become since she mentioned Alex 

“Do you have any friends or know any children at your school who have two dads or two mums?” 

“Well yes we do... they get picked on loads” Serena sighed heavily. She had forgotten how cruel children can be to one another “Why do you ask?” Cameron's and Charlotte's curiosity had been peaked by Serena's question. Why would she ask such a question?

“Just remember that no matter who your mother chooses to spend her life with that love is love and no matter what cruel or vile things you hear you'll learn to ignore them?” The two children nodded their heads as Serena drove them through the entrance gates to the zoo. She pulled up into a car parking space and smiled “Okay you two remember best behaviour”

“We know” The two children hurried out of the car and waited for Serena near the ticket booth. Serena grabbed her handbag and made sure the car was locked before she hurried over to the children 

“Right you two” Serena paid the entrance fee and picked up a map. She saw the pure joy on the faces of the children and knew they needed to have a good time today. “How about we start in the reptile house and work our way around?” The children nodded excitedly as they each took one of Serena's hands and pulled her towards the reptile house. Once inside the children decided to split, Serena watched them as they looked in awe at the various snakes that languished in the tanks 

“Oh man this python is so cool!” Cameron was engrossed with the rock python whilst Charlotte was fascinated by the veiled chameleon. Once they had had their fill of snakes, geckos and the various other reptiles they moved on to the monkey house. 

“Oh look I've found your long lost siblings” Serena said as she teased the two children, who were mock offended by their nanny's suggestion. “You know I'm only kidding” The two children playfully glared at Serena as they both approached the glass in order to watch the gorillas. 

As the morning went on Serena and the children were enthralled by the attractions and by the time it came to lunch time the trio had begun to get tired from all the walking around. Serena had gone to fetch to picnic basket whilst the children had found a spot for them to have their lunch

“I'm never walking again” Charlotte said dramatically as she collapsed on the grass just opposite the picnic area 

“Oh don't be so dramatic” Serena opened the picnic basket and past Cameron and Charlotte a plate and watched as the pair tuck in to all the goodies Jasmine had put in the hamper “How about after lunch we head home and have a movie afternoon?”

“The Harry Potter films?” Cameron's suggestion was met with a wide smile from Charlotte and a nod of the head from Serena “Yey!”

“Well we'll pop to the shops and buy some popcorn, chocolate and some juice after lunch” The trio enjoyed their lunch and Serena was glad to see that Cameron and Charlotte playing with each other. Though Cameron's ankle hadn't fully healed he had been able to walk and run about on it for a time which gave Serena encouragement he'd be back on the football field sooner rather than later. Once the trio had packed up and everything was in the car they headed to the nearest supermarket and brought supplies for their movie afternoon “Okay. One Sweet and Salted, one just sweet, a packet of twirl bites to share and some orange juice. All sorted?” The two children nodded as they headed for the checkouts. Serena didn't need anything as she knew she still had some crisps from the previous night. Once it was all paid for they got back in the car and headed home. “So did you two have a fun time?”

“It was amazing Serena! Those crocodiles were so awesome!” Cameron said excitedly

“It was really nice today. Thank you Serena” Charlotte said a bit more reserved.

“You're welcome” Once they reached the house the children rushed out of the car chattering excitedly between themselves as Serena humped the picnic basket and movie afternoon shopping into the hall way  
“Serena! Let me help you” Raf had finished in the main gardens and had decided to trim the lawn and cut back the hedgerows out the front when he saw Serena. He took the basket from Serena and helped her deeper into the foyer 

“Thank you Raf” Serena breathed a sigh of relief when Raf took the basket from her. She set the shopping down by the living room door and smiled at the gardener

“I take it the trip was a success?” 

“Roaring success. They enjoyed every minute of it. Next time we'll take Mikey and Evie with us I'm sure Fletch would love the time to himself”

“I'm sure he would. Theo and Ella are at Gran's at the moment so any help occupying Mikey and Evie would be appreciated especially since Mikey injured himself” Mikey's injury was news to Serena and it gave Cameron an opportunity to cement his place in the team when he was fully fit. 

“Do they like Harry Potter?”

“They love Harry Potter why?” 

“Well the kids and I are having a Harry Potter marathon once I've gotten everything sorted so why don't you send Mikey and Evie over and they can join us?” The relief on Raf's face was plain to see when Serena suggested the two older Fletchlings joined herself and the kids for the Harry Potter marathon. 

“That would be amazing. Thank you Serena” 

“It's okay. I should let you get on with whatever you were going to do” Raf smiled and nodded his head. Fletch would be over the moon with an afternoon free of the kids getting in the way of his work 

“The front lawn needs a trim and the hedgerows are nearly out of control so it's time for them to get cut back” Serena chuckled and nodded her head. She had almost lost an eye to the hedgerows the other day when she went for a walk 

“Well just message Mikey and Evie and tell them to join us.”

“I will. Thank you again”

“It's no trouble Raf” Serena picked up the picnic basket and shopping and headed down to the kitchens. Jasmine was prepping dinner when Serena walked in. However there was a visitor there with Jasmine 

“Oh Ms Campbell. I wasn't expecting you home so early. Did the kids have a good day?” Jasmine smiled at Serena as the brunette placed the picnic basket to one side. 

“Yes they had a great morning” Serena looked at Jasmine's visitor with a deep curiosity. She could see the resemblance between them but it was clear that the mystery woman got the cheekbones

“Serena Campbell this is my sister Jac Naylor. She works at Holby City Hospital” Sister. That solved the mystery. Serena offered her hand to Jac coupled with a polite smile

“It's good to meet you. My sister has told me all about you” Jac took Serena's hand and they shared a firm shake. Serena's brain soon kicked in and she remembered where she had heard Jac's name before. 

“You're a cardiothoracic surgeon aren't you? I've read some of your articles. Very impressive” If Jac's eyebrows could have gone any higher they would have leapt from her face hit the ceiling. It was clear that the woman hadn't expected Serena to know who she was

“You know medicine?” Serena nodded her head and smiled proudly. Though she had had to cut her medical career short she had been tipped as one of the up and coming vascular surgeons. She hoped that one day she'd return to medicine

“Yes I'm a trained surgeon” 

“So why are you a nanny?” Serena sighed sadly as she remembered why she had to give up medicine. Bloody Edward.

“I gave up medicine for personal reasons. I may go back into one day”

“Well if you do want to get back into give me a call” Jac handed Serena her card. The older brunette looked at it. Jacqueline Naylor. Head of Cardiothoracics. Holby City Hospital. 

“I will. Thank you Jac” Serena tucked the card safely away in her pocket and smiled softly “I just wanted to bring this down Jasmine. Everything was wonderful. Thank you”

“You're welcome Ms Campbell” Serena huffed and shook her head at Jasmine's use of Ms Campbell. She patted Jasmine on the shoulder and looked at her with a playful sternness to her stare

“Jasmine enough with the Ms Campbell, that was my mother in law. Just call me Serena as you've being doing” Jasmine and Jac chuckled as the younger sibling nodded her head and looked at the ground, slightly embarrassed. 

“Okay. Serena”

“It was a pleasure to meet you Jac.” Serena started back towards the stairs before she turned around and smiled at the siblings

“And you.” Serena nodded her head at the siblings before she headed back upstairs to find Mikey, Evie, Ella, Cameron and Charlotte all piled into the living room talking and laughing amongst themselves. Serena watched them for a few seconds before she cleared her throat

“Thanks for the invite Serena” Mikey said with a charming smile 

“You're very welcome. Have you got the snacks?” Cameron held up the bag of snacks that they had brought from the supermarket and Serena smiled. She gave them all a thumbs up “Got the film?”

“Yes Serena.” The title menu for Frozen came on to the screen and Serena chuckled 

“Okay can I leave you all to watch the film?”

“Yes Serena” The children called out in chorus. Serena knew she could trust them so she headed into the library. After a while she heard Beatrice arrive back from her day in town. She had checked on the children several times and they were all content, their eyes glued to the screen. She knew they were happy enough to just watch the film

“I see the children are occupied” Serena looked up at Beatrice and nodded her head. She had buried her head in a medical text book as a way of keeping herself occupied 

“Yes... They had an amazing day at the zoo but they wanted to watch a film this afternoon and I told Raf that Fletch's kids could come along” Beatrice sat down opposite Serena with a small smile on her face. She looked tired to Serena “How was your day?”

“Oh just met up with a few old friends and did a bit of shopping. May have brought something the children” Serena chuckled as she closed the book she had been reading and turned her full attention to Beatrice 

“Well they deserve be to spoilt”

“Yes they do.” Beatrice noticed the book that Serena had been reading and looked at her with a soft smile “Thinking about go into medicine?”

“Rather going back into medicine. I had to give up my career when I had Ellie.” 

“You were a doctor?” Beatrice sat down and looked at Serena with a soft smile. She was keen to get to know Serena a little better

“Yes and a rather good one too.”

“Why are you a nanny?”

“My nephew. He has Asperger's Syndrome and I've become a carer to him when I'm not working. Being a doctor requires being on call twenty four hours a day seven days a week” Serena smiled at the thought of Jason. He had become such an important part of her life and she couldn't imagine her life without him now

“Oh. It must be hard being away from him for long periods”

“He has another carer so it makes life a little easier but it can be.”

“It must be a relief to have that help in order for you to do your job”

“Alan is a godsend. He and Jason are best friends, he used to care for Jason when he was in a hostel” Beatrice saw the admiration Serena had for Alan and what he did for Serena and her nephew. Admiration was something she now had for the nanny and the life she led.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We finally have some Bernie with a tragic set of events bringing her back to her family.

Chapter 10

British Army Training Base, Iraq/IS Front-line

Bernie and her platoon of medics were deployed in a front-line training field hospital. She and her medics were charged with training Iraqi medics and providing medical assistance when called upon. Bernie's platoon had seen the guilt over Alex's death gradually change the Major over time and they knew that nothing they did would ever be able to bring their old friend back.

“Major Wolfe” Bernie turned to the private who had spoken to her. Her face was sunburnt, her uniform covered in desert dust and beginning to get sun bleached. “There are several incoming casualties from a bomb blast”

“How many?” 

“About a dozen”

“How many seriously?”

“I couldn't say ma'am”

“Thank you Corporal” Bernie sighed and looked around her. The field hospital was running close to capacity with most of the patients awaiting transport to the other hospitals away from the fighting. “Okay everyone we have a dozen incoming casualties, unknown number of serious injuries. We need to clear as many beds as we can” 

“Major given the situation we can't handle a dozen more patients” Hayden Harris was Bernie's second command, a position previously held by Alex. He hoped he held the respect and support of those in the platoon as well Bernie herself. 

“You think I don't know that Captain” Bernie replied harshly to Hayden's comment with such venom in her tone “However we're the only front-line field hospital in the vicinity” 

“But Major...”

“Objection noted Captain Harris but we've dealt with worse and we've always come through have we not?” Hayden knew when he had been beaten and retreated. He headed over to the receiving area and waited with baited breath for the new arrivals. A sudden silence descended across the camp and Bernie furrowed her brow. She looked across at Hayden as the distinctive whistle of a missile filled the air. “Take cover!” Everything suddenly felt as if it was going in slow motion. The air around Bernie had begun to burn hot and she felt herself being thrown into the air by the force of the blast. Her last conscious thought was of her children and her regret over being such a distant and cold mother to them. It felt to her as if she'd never see them again and would never be able to tell them how much she loved them. 

Holby, 3 Days Later.

Serena, Beatrice and the kids had all enjoyed a weekend of no homework and more play. The children had adjusted to their new routine of doing whatever from day to day and loved their lives. Both Serena and Beatrice had been pleased with the progress the children had made both academically and personally. They had become closer and were more like siblings again rather than perfect strangers. The quartet were sat in the living room with the children's favourite film on when Jasmine entered the living room. She was pale and visibly upset. 

“Jasmine? What is it?” Serena saw the young girl was in distress and stood up so she could go to comfort her. 

“It's Holby City Hospital. Major Wolfe was admitted this morning with life threatening injuries” The entire room fell into a deathly silence “There is an army liaison officer on his way to the house” Serena turned to look at Beatrice and the children. They had gone pale and silent tears ran down their cheeks. Beatrice stood and rushed to the phone in the hallway whilst Serena turned and took the children in her arms. 

“Jasmine could you tell the others for me please?” The young girl nodded solemnly and left the living room so she could go and speak to Raf and Fletch. Serena held the children as close as she could, her own tears now marked her face. “It's going to be okay. Your mum is going to be okay” Serena told the children quietly as she held them close. She tried to reassure them. She tried to keep them positive. Serena looked up as Beatrice came back into the room, her eyes reddened and her face tear strained. 

“It's bad. It's really bad.” Serena closed her eyes and shook her head. That wasn't what she or the kids wanted to hear. Before Beatrice had the chance to speak again and tell the trio anything else, the door bell rang and both Serena and Beatrice knew exactly who it was. Beatrice left Serena with the children as she walked to the front door. She opened the door and there stood the army liaison officer.

“Good evening. I'm Lieutenant Phillips may I come in?” Beatrice stepped aside and allowed the officer in. Beatrice escorted the officer to the living room once she had closed the door. Serena and the children were all huddled together on the sofa when Beatrice and the officer entered the living room. 

“Serena, children” The trio looked up from the sofa, the children curled closer to their nanny at the sight of the man in uniform. “This is Lieutenant Phillips”

“Good evening ma'am. Children.” Beatrice resumed her seat next to Charlotte, who curled away from her nanny and immediately into her grandmother. Serena knew it may not be a good idea for the children to be here 

“Children why don't you go upstairs and I'll come and speak to you once the officer has gone?” Cameron and Charlotte slowly got off the sofa and quietly left the room. They headed upstairs but stopped at the top and sat on the landing. Beatrice knew that Serena had dismissed the children in order to keep them from hearing what had happened to their mother. 

“Three days ago Major Wolfe was seriously injured in a missile attack on the base where she was stationed. She was airlifted back to the UK overnight after being stabilised in hospital in Iraq. She's in critical condition and the seriousness of her injuries means she may never be able to return to active service.” Beatrice knew how much her daughter would resent the fact she'd may never be able to active service and how angry she'd be at herself. 

“What exactly are the Major's injuries?” Serena asked the officer her voice edged with concern 

“Fractured C4 and C5 vertebrae, a pulmonary embolism, right leg broken in three places and three broken ribs” Serena paled and shook her head. She knew what fractured vertebrae meant or could mean and coupled with pulmonary embolism... it could be a death sentence

“Who are her surgeons?” Serena asked the officer curiously 

“Eh... I'm not sure Ma'am” Beatrice looked at Serena curiously. Why would Serena want to know who Bernie's doctors were. 

“Thank you Lieutenant” Serena said to the officer graciously before she excused herself from the living room

“Good evening” The soldier dismissed himself and left Beatrice sat alone in the living room. He past Serena in the hallway as she made a phone call. She hoped that the person she called would pick up 

“Hello?” Serena quietly sighed in relief as she heard the soft tone of her old friend

“Sacha it's Serena”

“Bloody hell... it's been a while. How have you been?” Sacha Levy was an old friend and colleague from her days in medicine. Serena saw him as a close friend and confidante. 

“Sacha listen I need information on a patient”

“You know I can't do that Serena”

“Sacha I need to know how Major Berenice Wolfe is”

“Why?”

“I'm in the Major's employ. I'm looking after her children” 

“Oh. Well she's critical but stable. Mr Self and Ms Naylor are her surgeons” Serena breathed a sigh of relief at the news that Bernie was in the best of hands. 

“She stands the best chance then”

“She does.”

“That's all I needed to know Sacha. Will she be up for visitors tomorrow?”

“I can't see why not. She's in an induced coma. We're concerned she may have swelling on the brain and it takes the pressure off her heart as well until we can perform surgery” 

“Okay. Thanks Sacha”

“You owe me one”

“I know” Serena hung up and smiled in relief. Critical but stable. At least The Major stood a good chance of surviving her injuries with Guy and Jac at the helm of her treatment. She headed back into the living room and looked at Beatrice. She saw the despair on the woman's face “Beatrice I've just spoken to a friend of mine at Holby. Bernie is critical but stable. She's in a coma but will be allowed visitors”

“Thank god.”

“I think we should take the children to see her tomorrow.”

“I agree.”

“She'll be alright Beatrice. She has two of the best surgeons in Britain looking after her.”

“We could still lose her though”

“You can't think like that Beatrice. If Bernie is anything like you she'll be strong willed and resilient” 

“Thank you Serena”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernie's family visit her in Holby and Serena catches up with old friends.

Chapter 11

Serena headed upstairs, her mind turned over and over as she tried to think of a way to break the news to the children. For Serena it hadn't sunk in that her employer, the woman she had only spoken to in passing when she had been summoned was lying in a hospital bed. Serena had no idea that the children had heard the majority of the conversation that had occurred nor she did know that the pair had bolted to their room when the army officer had left the house.

When Serena entered the children's room she found them crying into each other. She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat “Your mother will be fine” She told the children as she approached them slowly “You know she's a fighter”

“It's worse than before” Cameron's words made Serena realise that the children had heard the either the entire or the majority of the conversation that had gone on between herself, Beatrice and Lieutenant Phillips. She sighed and knelt down in front of the two crying children 

“Yes. Yes it is but you have to have faith that she'll pull through” 

“When can we see her?” Charlotte asked as she pulled away from her brother enough to make her question coherent enough for her nanny to hear 

“Tomorrow. Your grandmother and I will take you to see her tomorrow” Serena told the children softly as she laid a hand on each of the children's arms “But you'll have to be very careful with her okay?”

“Okay” The children said quietly. Serena pulled them both to her and hugged them. She knew this was going to be a trying time for the family. 

“Okay you two to bed now” The children nodded their heads against Serena's shoulders before they moved away and went to their rooms. Serena waited until she heard the click of their doors before she pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes. She hoped that Beatrice would extend her visit in order to help care for the children and for her daughter because Serena couldn't be carer to Cam and Charlotte and to Bernie. Serena had had very little experience with trauma injuries in her short medical career but she knew the recovery time, in the case of the Major, would be lengthy and painful, she only hoped that she could be of some help once the Major was released from hospital. Once her mind had quietened down she checked on the children and made sure they were settled before she headed back downstairs and into the living room “They're settled but whether they'll sleep or not however...” Beatrice smiled weakly, her eyes reddened from crying and her cheeks tear stained. Serena sat down next to the broken woman and pulled her into her arms “She'll be fine”

“She's my little girl Serena... she's my only child and we have so much to put right between us”

“No matter what your differences Beatrice you have to keep the faith especially for the children” Beatrice pulled away and sighed heavily as she remembered the last time her family was thrown into turmoil, the strain it had put on the family including the waste of space husband Bernie had been forced to marry 

“The last time Bernie got injured I lost her to grief. I lost the daughter I knew, the daughter I was so proud of” Serena sat and listened as more of the tragic backstory spilled out “And now... I can't lose the daughter that still remains no matter how cold and indifferent she is” 

“You won't lose her Beatrice. Jacqueline Naylor is the finest cardiothoracic surgeon in the country and Guy Self, one the best neurosurgeons I've ever met if not one of the best in the country. I've worked with them both I know what they're capable of and Beatrice they are capable of miracles” Beatrice pulled away from the woman she now considered a friend as well as her grandchildrens' nanny. She nodded her head and hoped that Serena was right. She wanted the chance to make things right with Bernie. Yes they had laid the ghost of Bernie's sexuality to rest but there still so much hurt between them. 

“I'm so pleased you're here Serena” The women chuckled as they sat back against the cushions. Tomorrow would be so hard to endure for the children and for Beatrice that Serena knew she'd have to stay strong and composed, that she'd have to be the doctor she had been trained to be. 

The next morning the family headed to the hospital. Breakfast had been a tense, sad affair with the children silent, Beatrice ridden with guilt and the house hold staff too upset to ask about their employer and friend. Once the family arrived at the hospital they were greeted by Sacha Levy, who hugged Serena within an inch of her life 

“It's so good to see you Serena” 

“And you Sacha” The pair broke the embrace and Raf looked at the family that surrounded Serena and smiled sadly 

“I'll take you up to see her but word of warning she looks as bad as she is.” The family followed Sacha toward the lift and pressed for the fifth floor “The CT scan came back clear but until Jac fixes the embolism we can't take her out of the coma” 

“Strain on her heart?” 

“Yeah. Jac isn't happy about the severity of the embolism and doesn't want to risk a heart attack or cardiac arrest” It didn't take long for the group to reach the fifth floor. Sacha led them toward ITU and looked at the family. He buzzed them in and allowed them to enter. Serena hung back and looked at Raf. She saw the shock as it descended across the family. Bernie was hooked up to a ventilator, her head and neck in a brace, her face bruised and cut and her leg supported in a sling. She looked pale, porcelain like, as if she was dead. 

“Christ Sacha...” Serena watched as the children as they each took one of their mother's hands. She knew Beatrice was crying, how distressed the trio were at the sight of Bernie laid out in that bed

“Her leg needs pinning and plated, her neck and spine are touch and go but Guy feels as if he'll need to plate the fractured vertebrae but we have to wait on the x rays” 

“Are Jac and Guy going to do the heart and neck surgery at the same time?”

“I don't think so. They think it's too risky”

“For goodness sakes... they could do that operation in their sleep” 

“High praise indeed from you Campbell” Serena turned her head to see Jac Naylor stood by the lift “I apologize for not recognizing you when I was visiting Jasmine. The last time I saw you your hair was longer and you were hidden behind a surgical mask” Serena smiled and nodded her head. 

“I apologize for acting like a stranger the last time we met Jac” Jac smiled and approached Serena. She hugged her lightly and looked towards the trio that now surrounded Bernie's bed “It's not me that's against doing a joint operation, it's Guy. He feels as if it's too risky” 

“You need to try and sway him Jac. The fewer surgeries Bernie endures the better it will be in the long run” 

“You can take the girl out of the doctor but you can't take the doctor out of the girl” Serena nodded her head but Jac knew Serena was right. Though Bernie was young, fit and relatively healthy other than the present situation the more surgeries Bernie endured the worse off she'd be

“Once we've fixed the embolism and vertebrae her leg is the next worry. The breaks are clean but it'll be a long, hard and painful recovery. She'll need a lot of care once she's released” 

“I'm not concerned for her physical recovery it's the mental side I'm worried about. She's already lost the woman she loved and now she's lost her career” Jac looked at Serena and then back at the Major and smiled sadly. 

“But she has her family” Serena, Sacha and Jac all looked at the family and hoped that was the case.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Serena tries to convince Jac and Guy to work together in order to save Bernie's life but will they listen and will Bernie survive the operation?

Chapter 12

Beatrice had taken the children away from their mother in order to grab something to eat. Though the children had protested Serena and Beatrice knew that they needed to eat. Serena knew that the children would later kick up a fuss about going home but she wouldn't have them tired and irritable when their mother came out of surgery. Whilst Beatrice was with the kids Serena decided to try and talk Guy around about performing joint surgery with Jac. 

“Guy you and Jac need to work together if you're going to minimise the chance of needing to perform another surgery and put the Major through more trauma” Serena told the stubborn surgeon and that earned her a glare from the man 

“You don't practice medicine any more Serena so your opinion is invalid and unwanted” Just as Serena was about to retaliate Jac had stepped in and had gotten in Guy's face

“I value Serena's opinion and so should you Guy. She's a highly respected member of this hospital community whether she's practising medicine or not” Jac's outburst was not expected by Serena or Guy and it had the desired effect. It shut Guy up. “I agree with Serena. We need to work together to minimise the chances of further surgeries and more unneeded trauma” Guy, though he was stubborn and pig headed, knew that Jac and Serena were right. The less surgeries Bernie went through the better it would be for her recovery. 

“Fine we'll perform both surgeries at the same time but if she dies it's on the both of you” Guy turned and left ITU. Jac and Serena sighed in relief then chuckled. They both knew that performing both surgeries at the same time was a huge risk but it was necessary. 

“Thank you Jac. You didn't need to do that” Serena couldn't have been more grateful to Jac for stepping in when she did or it may have ended in Guy laid out on the floor with a broken nose. 

“There aren't many of us female surgeons around and Guy was quite frankly being an arse” Serena chuckled and agreed with Jac on that one. She only had one thing to ask of the red headed surgeon

“Just keep her alive Jac.” Jac knew Serena asked that for the children and their grandmother. She knew it would rip what was left of the family apart and that couldn't happen. 

“I will” With that Jac left ITU. Serena looked at the Major and sat down in the chair next to the bed. She sighed as she looked at the fallen soldier. She took in the Major's features. She was still beautiful, her facial expression one of peace. She looked so free of the ghosts that haunted her. 

“I know we may not had interacted much but I can't help but worry about you and how you're going to get through this” Serena took the Major's hand and squeezed it lightly “But first you need to live. For the children. No matter how much grief you've gone through you still have your family and they love you Major. They've missed you. All I ask is when you wake up you don't shut them out again” Beatrice and the children came back into ITU and forced Serena to retract her hand. She looked over at them and smiled weakly. She stood up and allowed Cameron to take her place. “Feeling better now you've eaten?” The question was met with silence from the children as Charlotte sat on the edge of her mother's bed whilst Cameron got comfortable in the chair. Serena looked at Beatrice before she approached her “Ms Naylor and Mr Self have agreed to perform a joint surgery. They believe it will minimise the chances of further surgeries and further trauma as well cut down recovery time” 

“Did they say when they'd perform the operation?”

“Probably later today or tomorrow but that's only my guess.” Beatrice nodded and looked at her grandchildren and her daughter 

“I'll need to call Marcus. Tell him what's happened.”

“Marcus? Why?”

“Because Bernie made a request in her will that Marcus was to take the children should something happen to her”

“Ah”

“I would prefer to keep them with me should she... but it's her request”

“Beatrice she won't die. She's far too strong for that and Ms Naylor and Mr Self are far too stubborn to allow that to happen”

“I hope you're right Serena” Beatrice excused herself from ITU in order to call Marcus. Hopefully it was a decent time in Australia. 

“So do I” Serena said quietly as she watched the children take one of their mother's hands in their own. How would these children survive if their mother didn't make it? Serena didn't want to find out.

A few hours later Bernie had been taken into theatre after Guy and Jac had agreed that it would be better to take the Major into theatre sooner rather than later. Serena, the children and Beatrice were all on edge and nervous. Beatrice had argued with Marcus for a good hour about him taking the children and the call had ended with Beatrice giving the man an ultimatum about whether or not he ever wanted to see his children again from what Serena had gathered from the shouting. 

“Will mummy be okay?” Cameron asked quietly as he sat in Serena's lap cuddled into her 

“Yes Cameron she'll be fine” Hope was the only thing that kept the family together in that moment and Serena had to keep that hope alive. Time seemed to stop as the hours dragged on and it was getting into early evening when Jac and Guy came into the relatives' room. Serena looked at them and swallowed the lump in her throat 

“She's out of theatre and doing well” The entire room seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. Beatrice rushed over to the two surgeons and hugged them both. Serena smiled as Jac stiffened under the show of affection but didn't say anything. She knew how much Jac hated hugging. 

“Thank you” Beatrice breathed out to them both as she pulled away from them 

“She's out of her coma and in recovery. She'll be awake shortly” The children smiled loudly as they clung to their nanny. Beatrice wasn't going to lose Bernie and Serena knew how much the successful operation meant to the family. Jac and Guy showed them to Darwin Ward and the HDU room where Bernie had been taken after her operation. 

“I owe you both” Serena told her former colleagues as she watched Beatrice and the children sit down as they waited with baited breathe to see Bernie wake up 

“You were right. As always.” Guy told Serena surprising her with his sincerity 

“I'll have to write this down in my diary. Guy Self admitting he was wrong” Serena said chuckling along with Jac 

“You should come back to Holby. Pick up where you left off.” Serena looked at Guy and smiled before she looked back at Beatrice, the children and Bernie. She shook her head and smiled ruefully 

“Those kids need me and Beatrice has commitments she has to attend to. Bernie will need a carer until she's back on her feet and I intend to help as much as I can.” 

“Surely Mrs Wolfe can delay those commitments in order to help her daughter recover?” Jac said incredulously 

“I never said she was going to be leaving but Beatrice will need help and a break every once in a while. Caring for the Major isn't going to be easy. It won't just the physical aspect of the recovery, it'll be the mental. Major Wolfe is going to be angry about what's happened, about her predicament now she will no longer be able to serve” 

“And as a trained doctor you'll be able to act as a buffer between Major Wolfe and her family. Be able to offer advice and guidance even if The Major doesn't want to hear it” Jac says as she realised what Serena was getting at when she said the family needed her to continue on in the household 

“Exactly. In time I may return to medicine but not now, well not officially” 

“So you'll be nanny to the kids and doctor to the Major... you'll have your work cut out for you” Serena looked at Jac and shrugged her shoulders. She smiled at the young redhead before she replied to Jac's comment 

“I used to work here didn't I? I know she'll be stubborn, difficult even but Major Wolfe will be a piece of cake compared to you lot” Serena's comments elicited a chuckle from Jac and Guy. Serena had worked in a high pressure environment when she worked at Holby and this would be no different. If anyone could handle helping the kids and their mother it was Serena.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernie wakes up from her operation and learns of the consequences of the attack. Her response drives a wedge between herself, her children and her mother and Serena deals with the fallout as she gives the Major some words of advice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> Please keep the kudos and the comments coming! They're what keeps me writing!

Chapter 13

The family didn't have to wait too long before Bernie woke up. Serena had taken the children for something to eat and drink whilst Beatrice waited in HDU with her daughter. She was dozing in the chair when she heard Bernie stir 

“Bernie?” Beatrice had never moved so quickly when she looked over to see her daughter's eyes trained on her “Oh Bernie!”

“Mum? What-what happened? Where am I?”

“You were injured in a missile attack. You've been unconscious for nearly a week. You're in Holby City Hospital on Darwin Ward” Bernie strained her eyes as they adjusted to the light. Pain suddenly hit her like a train as she tried to move “No no don't move honey you've just come out of surgery” 

“That explains the numbness” 

“I'll get Ms Naylor” Beatrice rushed from the room and left Bernie as she tried to adjust to being awake and in hospital. It hadn't been a minute when Beatrice returned with Jac

“Ah Major Wolfe it's good to see you awake. I'm Jac Naylor one of the surgeons who operated on you.”

“One of the surgeons?”

“Yes. You came to us in a very bad way Major. You've suffered major injuries that endangered your life however myself and another surgeon were able to repair the more serious ones. You had fractured your C4 and C5 vertebrae. Mr Self, our head of neurosurgery, has repaired the fracture and encased the vertebrae in a poly plastic casing that will aid healing. You also suffered a pulmonary embolism which I repaired. You also have a broken leg in three places which will require surgery once you've recovered from this one and three fractured ribs.” As Jac rattled off the list of injuries Bernie had sustained, the army medic made note of the fact she had fractured her neck and her leg was broken in three places. She knew that both injuries were career ending in terms of the army and she realised then that she was going to be medically discharged. Her career was finished. 

“Bernie? Did you hear what Ms Naylor has just said?”

“I'm finished... I'll be medically discharged” Beatrice closed her eyes as her daughter realised that she could no longer serve in the army. Beatrice knew that the physical recovery wouldn't be nearly as challenging as the mental one would be 

“Unfortunately due the serious nature of your injuries yes you will be medically discharged” Before Bernie had the chance to reply the doors to the HDU had been thrown open and the children were stood there, their faces graced with huge smiles thanks to the sight of their mother awake and lucid 

“Why aren't they in school? And where is their nanny?” The childrens' faces dropped as their mother brushed their appearance aside as if they were an inconvenience. 

“They're not in school because it's the weekend and I'm here Major” Serena had slipped into the room unnoticed and had put a comforting hand on the childrens' shoulders

“Then they should be doing their homework” 

“They're here because they were terrified that they were going to lose their mother” Bernie's eyes softened as Serena's words hit her. She looked at her trembling children and regretted her coldness towards them immediately 

“She hasn't been our mother for ages... why did you think she'd want us here?” Cameron turned away and hurried from the room followed by his heartbroken sister. Serena sighed and went after them. How could Bernie be so cold? 

“Cam! Lottie!” Serena called after them as she followed them. Beatrice looked at her daughter, shame filled her eyes. 

“How could you do that to them?! They are your flesh and blood! I know I made mistakes with you but I have never treated you as you treat them! I am ashamed to call you my daughter.” Beatrice left the room and hurried off to find Serena and her grandchildren. Jac looked at Bernie for a moment before she diverted her gaze to the floor 

“I don't know much about you Major Wolfe apart from what my sister and Serena have told me but if I had just had major surgery the first person I would want to see was my daughter.” Jac turned on heel and left Bernie to wallow in her own self pity and anger. Jasmine had shared some of what the Major was like during their talks but Jac could see that the Major was so cold and closed off she had forgotten how to love, even her own children. Bernie had been so angered by the loss of her final connection to Alex, it was a pain that burnt hot. And now she was left in the ruins of the life she had tried so hard to run away from. It was the life that she now had to live. A broken relationship with her children and an equally broken one with her mother. How was she going to fix all of this? Could it be fixed? Cameron was right she hadn't been a mother to him or his sister since Alex died and now she paid the ultimate price. Maybe the missile was a message, a tactic by God to make her realise how bad a person she had become because she was a bad person, a bad daughter and an appalling mother. 

Serena and Beatrice had tracked the children down to the relatives' room on Darwin. The pair had hidden in the corner and were sobbing into one another. Serena and Beatrice took one each and hugged them tightly 

“Do you think Marcus will take them for a few weeks?” Serena asked Beatrice as she held Charlotte close as the little girl sobbed 

“Probably not but I will. I'll take them home with me, they need time and space away from all of this” Serena nodded her head and kissed the crown of Charlotte's head 

“What about getting them to school?”

“I only live in St Francis down the road. It's a twenty, thirty minute drive” 

“Are we going to stay with you Grandma?” Cameron asked quietly as he pulled away from his grandmother's embrace   
“Yes my darling just until your mother is out of hospital.”

“Can't we just come and live with you? I hate mum so much” Beatrice felt her heart break at Cameron's words and she pulled him back in close 

“Oh Cameron” Serena felt her heart break at the despair of the children she had been charged with to look after. They harboured so much anger and hurt towards their mother that it was understandable that part of them hated her. She knew how they felt. The darkest part of her hated her own mother for what she did but she loved her nonetheless 

“Come on let's get you two home and packed.” Serena lifted Charlotte into her arms when the little girl refused to let her go. They walked towards the lift and Serena looked at Beatrice “Can you take her for a minute? I need to go and speak with Jac” Beatrice nodded and took Charlotte into her arms. Cameron had been content just to walk beside her. Serena headed down the corridor and into HDU. She saw the Major was still awake and she'd seen the tears that rolled down the Major's face “The children will be staying with their grandmother and won't be coming back to visit. I will be returning home until you're discharged” Bernie turned her face toward Serena, her eyes reddened with crying and her face stoic 

“I want to see them Ms Campbell”

“They don't want to see you”

“I didn't mean to react like that. I didn't mean to be so cruel”

“Then why?”

“My job was the only connection I had left to Alex and now it's gone.”

“You think more of the dead then you do of the living.”

“I never said that”

“You didn't need to.” Serena turned on heel and headed for the door to HDU. She stopped and turned her face to look at The Major “If you keep carrying around the guilt over Alex's death then it will eventually kill you and it will destroy what little you have left of the life you kept running from for so long.” With those parting words Serena left the room and headed back towards the lift. She smiled weakly and took Charlotte back from her grandmother 

“Everything sorted?” Beatrice asked as she pressed for the lift

“Yes. I just wanted to ask Jac about the leg surgery. She said Keller would be handling it” Beatrice accepted the lie without challenging it. Serena hoped that her words would have some sort of impact with the Major and help her to realise that it was time to let go of the past she so dearly clung on to.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fletch and Jasmine find out what happened at the hospital, Serena makes a decision that will shape her family and the kids head off with Beatrice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it... the last chapter of the build up. Berena is on but it'll be slow burn and angst filled so you all need to be prepared for quite the ride.

Chapter 14

When Serena, Beatrice and the children arrived home the mood was sombre and tense. The children hadn't said anything the entire way back from the house and neither Serena or Beatrice dared to ask them anything. Once the car pulled up outside the house and the engine had been turned off the children got out of the car and trudged into the house where Jasmine and Fletch had been waiting for news. It was clear by the expressions on their face when Serena and Beatrice entered the house that they thought the worst because of the mood of the children 

“Jasmine, Fletch.” Serena watched as Beatrice headed straight upstairs so she could help her grandchildren pack their belongings “The children are going to stay with their grandmother until the Major is released from hospital. I will be taking some leave and going home to visit my nephew for a few days.” 

“What happened?” Fletch asked as he thought the worst. Had Bernie died? Had there been a complication?

“The Major decided that the dead are more important than the living” Fletch and Jasmine knew what Serena had meant by that and the pair sighed. Bernie clung to Alex's memory as if she was clinging to a boat ring. 

“Are you telling me that she didn't want to see her kids?” Fletch had become more and more frustrated with the Major as the years had past and that frustration had slowly began to turn to anger

“Oh she saw them Fletch and ignored them. She was more concerned about why they were at the hospital rather than here doing homework” 

“Maybe them going with Beatrice for a few weeks would be a good thing. It'll get them away from all of this” Fletch replied as he knew that if the children got away from the house, from the coldness that it contained maybe they'd be more like they were before their mother decided to treat them like strangers

“God those poor kids... why can't Bernie just lay the past to rest?” Serena watched as Jasmine walked away and down the stairs into the kitchen. The past had slowly killed this once happy household and now it had begun to put the final nails into the coffin

“Fletch I'll be back in a few days to get the house sorted for The Major coming home. Her bed will need to be moved downstairs, all the entrances will need ramps installed and the entire house will need to be made wheelchair friendly so any large pieces of furniture will need to be moved or placed in storage as well any large decorative items. Some of the doorways may even need to be widen and some doors even removed” Serena looked around and saw one or two large furniture items that would definitely need removed and noticed that some of the doorways were narrow. This wasn't going to be easy but it had to be done

“I'll look into getting some joiners in. Raf and I will take care of the furniture but where will we put Bernie's bed?”

“She spends most of her time in her study when she's home put it in there.” Serena headed upstairs and left Fletch to do a walk around so he'd get a better idea of what needed to be removed, widen or taken out completely. She headed into the nursery and saw that the children had almost finished packing 

“Mum doesn't love us does she?” Cameron asked quietly as he packed up the last of the games he wanted to take with him 

“Oh Cam of course she does” Beatrice rushed to her grandson and pulled him into her arms. She held him tightly to her as tears ran down her cheeks. She didn't recognize the woman in that hospital bed. That woman wasn't her daughter. “She's just lost her way” 

“Because of Alex? Because of what happened to her?” 

“Cam your mother loved Alex very much and grief can change a person” Beatrice had finally admitted to herself that Bernie had loved Alex and that their love had been a fierce one. 

“I just want us to be a family again” Beatrice looked up at Serena who looked to the ceiling, her eyes closed. Was it even possible? Serena had her doubts but there had to be hope. 

“I know you do sweetheart” 

“Cam, Lottie I promise you that your grandmother and I will do everything possible to make that a possibility” Serena said fiercely, a new determination steeled her tone. She looked at Beatrice and sighed heavily before she turned on heel and headed back downstairs to call Alan. 

“Hello?”

“Alan it's Serena. There has been some developments and I'll be coming home for a few days” Alan was sat in Serena's kitchen with his sudoku puzzle whilst Jason was sat in the living room watching Countdown. 

“Okay. Do you still want me to stay?”

“That would be appreciated. There are some things I need to do here so I'll be running between here and home” Serena smiled softy as Fletch passed her with his tape measure. He had started to take measurements for the doors which he'd show Serena later 

“What's happened?”

“The Major is at Holby City Hospital... missile attack on her base. She's severely injured but stable. We've spent the last seventy two hours running back and forth between here and the hospital. The children rushed in when their mother woke up and she didn't bat an eyelid. Demanded to know why they were at the school and not in school and at home doing their homework. She really upset them so Beatrice is going to take them for a few weeks to get them away from all of this whilst I help get the house prepared for the Major coming home.” Alan sighed when he realised what Serena was getting at. He had known for a while that Serena was getting itchy feet and had become desperate to get back into medicine.

“So I take it you're not just going to be the nanny any more but the nurse too?”

“The Major's doctors will only release The Major if she has someone who can help her at home. I'm a trained doctor Alan, I'm the perfect candidate and it won't require having to hire any exterior help apart from one or two nurses to tend to the Major when I'm not there”

“You don't owe this woman anything Serena” Serena knew Alan was right, she didn't owe the Major squat but she owed those children a chance of a happy family. She had promised them that much. 

“I know I don't but it's the doctor inside of me Alan and I can't fight it any more... Once The Major is back on her feet I'm going back into medicine” 

“Once a doctor, always a doctor”

“I only took this very long break in order to try and fight for my family. Elinor is god knows where with her father and Jason is old enough to understand that I have to go back into the profession I love”

“You're right... of course you're right. You're doing this for you and you're doing it for those kids. You've grown attached to them haven't you?” Serena glanced at the stairs and ran her free hand through her hair. Yes she had grown attached to Cameron and Charlotte. They were great kids, loving kids that helped fill the void that had been left by the loss of Elinor to her ex husband. 

“It was hard not to become attached Alan. They're great kids they just need someone to help them and with their mother being the way she is... I just want to make them happy”

“I get it I do. So when you coming home?”

“Tomorrow. The kids are leaving tonight but there are some things I need to finish up here” Serena heard the nursery door open and knew that the kids were ready to go. She knew that the kids going to their grandmother's was for the best but it didn't make it any easier. 

“Okay. I'll tell Jason. He's really missed you”

“I've really missed him too. I'll see you tomorrow”

“Yes you will. Bye Serena” Alan hung up and Serena sighed as she slipped her phone back into her pocket. She turned to look at Fletch who had held out his measurements. 

“Okay... the front door and patio doors are fine but the rest need to be widened. I rather not risk adding insult to injury by knocking the Major's leg and increasing the chance of further damage”

“On it boss I'll get the joiner in tomorrow and get a quote” 

“Good man.” The sound of footsteps on the staircase made Serena look up. She smiled weakly as Cameron, Charlotte and Beatrice headed downstairs. Beatrice had the kids' clothes whilst the two children carried their other belongings “Ready to go?” Cameron dropped his stuff and ran to Serena. He threw his arms around her and hugged her tightly 

“I'm going to miss you Serena” Serena stumbled a little at the force of the hug but wrapped an arm around the boy and hugged him back. 

“It's okay Cam I'll make time to come and visit.” 

“Really?”

“Of course if it's okay with your grandmother?” 

“Of course it is. They love you Serena” Charlotte dropped her things and dashed over to Serena. The little girl collided with Serena's hip and her arms gripped the woman tightly. Serena felt her eyes fill with tears 

“I love you too. Both of you.” The two kids pulled away and went back to pick up their stuff “You two be good okay? I'll see you soon” The pair nodded their heads and followed their grandmother out to her car. Serena wiped the tears away and looked at Fletch as the car could be heard driving away 

“You've been more of a mother to those two kids in these last few weeks then Bernie has been in the last few years. You've changed their lives Serena, you've changed all of our lives” Serena smiled softly and wiped the last stray tears away before she patted Fletch on the arm and headed upstairs to pack her belongings. She had one last thing to do before she headed home tomorrow. She had to go back to the hospital and speak to the Major again.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Serena pays a visit to Bernie and lays down the plan for what will happen when she's discharged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please keep the comments and kudos coming. They're like the lifeblood of my writing

Chapter 15

The next morning Serena called ahead to make sure she'd be okay to come to the hospital to see Bernie. She didn't want to travel to the hospital if Bernie had surgery or post op checks in her near future

“You're okay to come in. Ric doesn't want to operate on Bernie's leg until I give him the all clear in regards to her cardiac activity” Serena knew that any further strain of Bernie's heart would either cause her to cardiac arrest or a heart attack and she knew Jac too well to think that the red head would risk those options. 

“That's understandable. Is she stable?”

“Yes she's stable. I was expecting her to be questioning everything we do but she's just... lying there”

“She's lost her fight Jac. Her job was the last thing tying her to the woman she loved, the woman she lost and it's been ripped away from her. She's grieving.” Grieving was one word to describe what Serena thought Bernie was doing but there was many words and those included isolation from everyone and everything in her life

“Be that as it may she has two kids to think about”

“As you witnessed yesterday those two kids aren't high on her priority list” 

“Is that why you're coming to see her?” Jac looked up at HDU and checked on Bernie. It looked like Bernie was sleeping for the moment. Jac didn't feel anything but resentment and pity for Bernie. How could a mother treat her children so poorly? And then she remembered her own mother and how much of a bad mother she had been to herself and Jasmine.

“Partly, the rest is to do with her coming home”

“Ah... the whole you playing nurse thing” Serena rolled her eyes as Jac's tone of voice and shook her head. It was hardly a game and Serena had no intention to make it into one. 

“Hardly playing nurse. I'm a medical professional Jac. It's time I got back in the saddle” Jac smiled into the phone. She knew that Serena's decision to take care of Bernie's medical needs when she got out of hospital would be the tipping point to make Serena realise that she needed to be in medicine and it seemed Jac had been proved right. 

“So Dr Campbell has been unleashed again after all these years”

“Yes she has so watch your back Naylor”

“Oh I will don't you worry about that.”

“I'll see you soon Jac” Serena hung up and put her phone on the nightstand. She sat down for a few moments before she stood and headed for the bathroom. A shower before she headed to the hospital. Within an hour Serena had been showered, had dressed and had gotten some breakfast.

“Fletch said that the joiner will be coming today to get some measurements and to give us a quote. Do you want me to call you if you're not back when he comes?” Jasmine asked Serena as she picked up the woman's plate from the kitchen table 

“Yes if you don't mind.”

“Not at all”

“I'll be back to collect the things I've packed... I have left some clean clothes just in case but the rest will be coming with me later.” Jasmine nodded her head as she turned on the dishwasher. She was upset that Serena was leaving but she knew it was only for a few days and that the older brunette would be coming back to help with The Major 

“If you see Jac will you tell her I'll call later?” Serena nodded her head as she stood from the table and made for the stairs back up the hallway 

“I will. See you later” Serena headed upstairs and straight out. The sooner she spoke with the Major, the quicker she'd be able to get home and spend some real time with her nephew. 

The drive to the hospital was busier than Serena had expected but she got there in good time. She parked up and headed up to Darwin where she found Jac sitting at the reception desk 

“Hello Jac”

“Serena. You can just go straight in” Serena nodded and turned on heel. She walked towards HDU and pushed the door open. She could see Bernie was sleeping so she sat down and looked over the Major's notes 

“If you've come to give me another lecture don't bother” Serena looked up from the notes to be met by the dark pools of the Major's eyes. “Your friend out there told me her opinion after you left yesterday”

“Jac has never been one to mince her words”

“I can only imagine”

“She's precise and to the point. It makes her unpopular among her colleagues but she isn't here to win any popularity contests, she's here to be a doctor and she's a damn good one” Serena lifted her head and looked at Bernie which forced the blonde to turn her head away 

“Why are you here Ms Campbell?”

“Cameron and Charlotte will be staying with their grandmother. It's for the best at the moment” Bernie swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat at the mention of her kids. She looked down at the blanket that covered her

“I see...”

“Do you? I highly doubt that.” Serena scoffed and sat back in the hospital arm chair. Bernie turned her head around as much as she could, her eyes ablaze with anger and hurt at Serena's accusations

“You think I don't love my kids?” 

“I think your grief has blinded you to everything and everyone around you including your kids” Bernie scoffed at Serena's words. She couldn't admit to herself that she had lost her way in her grief and that she didn't know who she was any more. 

“I don't need a counsellor Ms Campbell” There was the stubbornness that Serena had expected. Why did she think that Bernie would admit she was grieving and that she was angry at everyone and everything

“Fine but you'll need help when you get out of here and I'm it.” Bernie raised an eyebrow and shook her head. There was no way Serena could look at the children and tend to her needs. She wasn't even trained to be a nurse... Bernie was about to be proven wrong 

“You are joking” 

“No I'm not.”

“I hired you to take care of my kids” Serena rolled her eyes and looked at the stubborn woman who lay in that hospital bed. She clearly thought nannies were incapable of juggling more than one responsibility 

“And now I'm going to be taking care of you”

“You're not a nurse or a doctor”

“Actually I am. I used to work here on Keller.”

“Nurse?”

“No. I'm a doctor and I don't care whether or not you want my help but you're getting it” Bernie looked away from Serena taken back by the woman's admission to being a doctor. Bernie wouldn't have thought of it but then again when had she ever been good at reading people?

“So what's the plan?”

“Once your leg has been reset and pinned you'll probably remain here for a few days by which point everything at home will be ready. You'll be living in your study whilst your leg is healing and you undergo physiotherapy. Whether or not the children will be back by then is unknown”

“I've been through all of this before I know how it works” Bernie had been through of all this before but never to this extent. She had taken a bullet to her left shoulder, chipping her collarbone, lower abdomen and her right thigh as well as various graze wounds. She knew that this would be a longer and harder recovery process than she had experienced in the past

“Good then we shouldn't have any problems should we?” Bernie's silence gave Serena her answer so she stood up and looked down at the army medic “I don't need to tell you that this will be a long and hard recovery but it'll be even longer and harder if you fight me all the through” When Bernie didn't reply Serena pushed the door and left HDU and the Major to her own thoughts. Bernie closed her eyes and sighed heavily, wincing as her neck pains a little. She had pushed the body part a little too far during Serena's visit and paid the price.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Serena returns to the Major's house to get a progress report on the alternations and Hayden Harris arrives in Holby. Does he hold the key to helping the Major? Serena thinks so

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love your comments! Please keep them coming. I write these fics for all of you and I really appreciate the love.

Chapter 16

Over the next few days Serena kept running between her home and the Major's house in a bid to make sure that everything was in order. 

“Okay so the doors have been widened, the study turned into a makeshift bedroom and the conservatory into a physiotherapy treatment room. Most of the bigger furniture has been moved into the garage so there should be ample access for the Major and her wheelchair” Fletch smiled as Serena toured the house and examined the changes that had been made to the house. The brunette smiled and nodded her head in approval 

“Well done Fletch. Jac tells me the Major had her leg operation yesterday and is scheduled to be released from hospital within the next couple of days should she and Ric deem her fit enough to come home.” 

“I had better warn Raf and Jasmine. We're all expecting her to be in something of a foul mood when she comes home” Serena chuckled at Fletch's words as she knew that he was right. Bernie would be very unhappy and that mixed with the pain Serena knew the Major would be experiencing would make her one short tempered customer

“I think that might be wise” Fletch headed outside where Raf, the kids and Jasmine were all having a fun time in the garden. Since the kids, Beatrice and Serena had left the house the staff had enjoyed being able to have some down time to be themselves. Serena smiled at the scene for a few moments before she took herself off to the makeshift bedroom that had been set up for the Major whilst she was going to be recovering. She took in the room and began to walk around. She stopped when she came by a photo of Bernie and her kids in happier times. The kids looked around five and three. Bernie held Charlotte in her arms whilst Cameron was cuddled into his mother's hip. They were all smiles and they looked so loving. How a mother and her children should look like together in a photo. How it had all changed in eight years... how one death had had the ability to destroy a family. Serena smiled and caressed the photo affectionately before she set it down. She hoped that she'd be able to bring back the happy times again. 

“We thought that some family photos may help with the Major's recovery” Serena turned around, hand over her heart as Jasmine made her presence known 

“Jasmine! You gave me a fright”

“Sorry” Serena smiled softly and shook her head as she dismissed the young blonde's apology. She knew Jasmine hadn't meant to nearly give her a heart attack 

“The photos are a good idea... I don't see any of her and Alex though.” Serena's observation took Jasmine by surprise. Perhaps the feeling of resentment for Bernie's lost love that radiated from the children and Beatrice had spread to the staff 

“Well... uh... Fletch didn't think it was a good idea.” Jasmine said quietly, ashamed of her part in the deliberate excursion of Alex 

“Jasmine what Fletch thinks and what he does are two different things. As much as this household wants to forget Alex ever existed she was a big part of Bernie's life.” Serena looked down briefly and sighed. She brought her head back up and looked directly at Jasmine “And as much as we don't approve of Bernie's need and want to use Alex as a crutch and a wedge” Serena shook her head, her eyes closed for a moment “We can't just hide that part of her life away and pretend it doesn't exist. It's clear Bernie loved Alex very much isn't it? After all her death is why Bernie is so cold and detached.”

“I'll go and get some photos” Jasmine said quietly. Serena nodded in agreement and took a deep breath. Serena had to try and get Bernie's friends in on helping her accept Alex was gone and wasn't coming back and that she had to move on with her life. After a few minutes Jasmine had returned with a couple of photos of Bernie and Alex and showed them to Serena. Serena swallowed the lump in her throat as she gazed at the photos. The pair looked so happy and alive. Yes their relationship would have been hidden from everyone else but even Serena could see the love between them.

“Was Bernie ever this happy with Marcus?” Jasmine shook her head as she placed one on the bedside table and the other on the desk. She turned it to face the bed and smiled sadly 

“I doubt she was ever happy with Marcus... Alex must have been something extraordinary” Jasmine said sadly, tearing her gaze from the photo as she turned and headed out of the make shift bedroom 

“Yes she must have been” Serena's train of thought had been suddenly interrupted by her phone sounding in her pocket. She quickly pulled it from her trouser pocket “Serena Campbell”

“Serena it's Jac. We've found you a physio that is willing to come out to the house for The Major's sessions”

“Jac you are a star. Thank you”

“Don't thank me just yet. Ms Wolfe kicking up a fuss about it all. She keeps going on about her being a quick healer and she'll be up and about in no time”

“Typical bloody military stubbornness”

“Good luck with this one Serena” Serena chuckled at Jac's words. Luck was the last thing she needed but it didn't hurt to have it on her side 

“I don't need luck Jac but thanks” 

“You're welcome” Jac hung up on Serena. Serena smiled and shook her head. Serena Campbell wasn't a push over and she certainly wasn't going to be pushed around by some army major. Not in this lifetime. After a few minutes Serena headed into the hallway and found Jasmine speaking with a man she hadn't seen before 

“Jasmine. Whose this?” Serena approached the pair and she realised that the man was using one crutch and one arm was in a sling, his face black and blue 

“Captain Hayden Harris. I'm Bernie's second in command. I just came to ask how she was.” Serena looked at Jasmine then at Hayden. She smiled weakly 

“She's recovering. She's at Holby City Hospital” Relief floored Hayden's face as he took a deep breath and smiled, letting out a small laugh. 

“Thank god. I was sure she was dead.”

“You were caught up in the attack” Serena said as she realised that the Captain would have been at the base camp when it was attacked 

“Yes. I was lucky... very lucky. Fractured foot, broken arm and some busted up ribs. I managed to pull Bernie free from the rubble.”

“Thank you. For saving her” Jasmine said quietly as she hugged the man. It was clear Hayden was a friend of the Major's and wasn't a stranger to Jasmine. He must have been here frequently when he and the Major were home from tour. 

“She would have done the same for me” Hayden said as he threw his good arm around Jasmine reciprocating the hug. He winced a little as his weight transferred onto his fractured foot 

“Would you like to sit down in the living room Captain?” Serena asked the army officer as she sensed his discomfort. 

“I better get to the hospital and say hello.” Hayden broke the hug and smiled softly at Serena. He wanted to make sure that his friend was doing okay. He had been worried sick about Bernie. He had already lost Alex and he couldn't lose Bernie too. “Is it okay if I come back afterwards?”

“Of course it is H we've missed having you around” Jasmine said affectionately as she hugged the man again.

“I'll see you in a bit” Serena and Jasmine watched as Hayden hobbled away towards a waiting taxi. Jasmine waved as the Captain slowly got into the cab. 

“Old friend?”

“He was Alex's and Bernie's best friend. He kept their affair secret but they were inseparable when they were on tour. Bernie used to tell us stories about what they all used to get to. He was devastated when Alex was killed.” 

“He must know about what Alex's death done to Bernie”

“He had a front row seat but that's his story to tell. He didn't just lose Alex that day, he lost Bernie in a way too.” Jasmine said as she closed the door once the taxi was out of sight. She walked away and headed back to the kitchen leaving Serena by the door. Serena suddenly got an idea and hoped that Hayden would agree to help her.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hayden goes to see Bernie and the Major's walls are knocked down by her friend's re-appearance

Chapter 17

Hayden managed to hobble into the hospital and to the cafe where he sat down. His foot was killing him and on top of that he had no idea what ward Bernie was on 

“You okay there?” Sacha asked as he approached Hayden concerned for the soldier as he struggled for breath

“Yeah I'm okay just needed to sit for a moment” Hayden winced as he moved his foot under the table. Not the worst injuries he'd ever sustained but pain is pain at the end of the day 

“If you're sure”

“You wouldn't happen to know what ward Major Wolfe is on would you?” Sacha had turned to walk away when he heard Hayden's question. He looked at the man inquisitively and walked back over to him 

“The Major? She's on Darwin. You a friend of hers?” Sacha asked the man as he struggled to sit up straight in the chair 

“A friend and colleague.” That would explain the crutch and sling as well the clear discomfort and pain the man was in

“Oh... you were caught up in the same attack?”

“Yes I was hence the crutch and sling” Hayden sighed when he had finally found a nice position in the chair where he was 99.5% pain free. 

“Listen why don't I check you out before you go and see the Major? You're in clear pain and discomfort so I suspect that the foot and arm aren't the only things that are broken”

“My ribs. I've got pain killers so I'll be fine”

“Blast injury?”

“Yes. I managed to dive under the Major's desk just before the missile hit so I was shielded for the most part.”

“Unlike the good Major”

“She was in an exposed area of the field hospital. Very little cover and about fifty feet away from me” 

“I wasn't insinuating anything. I apologize if I've offended you” 

“It's okay.” Hayden said apologetically as he looked up at Sacha, a sad smile graced his face “I thought she was dead. She wasn't moving, she was pale and unresponsive. I thought I'd lost another friend” 

“Well you haven't and I'm sure she'll be pleased to see you” 

“Not sure about that” Hayden stood slowly with Sacha's help and headed over to the lift one hop at a time “Thanks for your help”

“You're welcome” Sacha waited as Hayden got into the lift and waited for someone to hit the right floor number. Once the lift reached Darwin Hayden made for the reception desk where Frieda was sitting.

“Excuse me I'm looking for Major Wolfe. I'm a friend and colleague of hers” Frieda looked up at Hayden and pointed to the door directly behind him to the left 

“She's in HDU. Just behind you” 

“Thank you” Hayden turned around and walked towards HDU. He could see Bernie was now sitting up in bed a little with a cross word book. He chuckled as he pushed the door open “You're looking good for a corpse Major”

“And you look good for the walking dead Captain” Hayden burst out laughing and slowly leant down to hug Bernie with his good arm “It's good to see you H”

“God I thought you were dead Bernie” Hayden pulled away from the hug and sat down. He looked at his friend, his eyes filled with tears. The idea of losing Bernie was unthinkable to Hayden. She was like the sister he never wanted but the best friend he had always craved. 

“I thought I was too. I wished I was”

“Don't say that Bernie. I've already lost Alex I can't lose you as well”

“I thought I saw her. When I was drifting in and out of consciousness in the helicopter after they managed to get me out. I thought she had come for me” Hayden closed his eyes at Bernie's words. Hayden had seen first hand what Alex's death had done to Bernie. What it had turned her into, the guilt she carried around day after day and it hurt him to see his friend so lost. 

“What happened wasn't your fault Bernie. You had no idea insurgents using that village as a base or that we had stumbled into a trap.” Hayden remembered the day Alex died as if it was yesterday. One minute they were walking through a deserted market square, the next they were pinned down by enemy fire and trapped. He saw Alex get hit when she pushed Bernie out of the way of the bullet. Alex had died protecting the woman she loved and Bernie then saved her platoon. If Alex hadn't caught the bullet meant for Bernie they'd all be dead “You saved all of us. You're a hero Bernie whether you like or not and I, for one, will always be thankful to Alex for saving your life because I still have one of my two best friends when in reality we and everyone else in our platoon should be dead along with her.” Bernie couldn't bring herself to say anything in reply to Hayden's words because she knew he was right. If Alex hadn't pushed her out of the way of the bullet she would have never saved her platoon. Alex sacrificed herself to make sure Bernie would live. “You've never talked to anyone about what happened have you?” Bernie's silence had given Hayden the answer. He sighed and took Bernie's hand squeezing it lightly “You can't keep going like this Bernie. Sooner or later you'll have to face what you're running from” 

“Then I'll be running for the rest of my life because I will never be able to stop the guilt, the hurt and the anger” Bernie pulled her hand free of Hayden's and it left the man dejected and hurt 

“Then I've lost you both.” Hayden stood up and looked down at his friend and colleague, the tears had now began to flow freely “Because the Bernie Wolfe I know... she'd be fighting for what she had left in order to build herself a new life” Hayden hobbled out of HDU and toward the lift. His friends had both died that day. He was alone. Jac had seen the man leave Bernie's room and saw that the visit had upset the Major so the redhead went to see what had happened 

“You okay?”

“Don't you have patients to treat, hearts to repair?” Jac closed her eyes as Bernie's walls went straight back up. Whoever that man had been it was clear he was the only one that could get through to the Major. 

“Yeah I do. Shame yours can't be repaired” With that parting shot Jac left HDU, shaking her head at Bernie's inability to see that people were trying to help her.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hayden comes back to the Wolfe house and Serena learns more about Bernie and Alex and the incident that took Alex's life.

Chapter 18

Serena and Jasmine had gone out into the gardens to give Raf and Fletch a hand to prune the roses and to harvest the seasonal vegetables that were ready. Hayden came into the gardens via the gate and found Serena and Raf in the rose gardens 

“It's good to see some things don't change” Hayden's voice made Serena and Raf look up from what they were doing. Raf smiled loudly and stepped out of the rose bed he had been busy working in 

“H! Jasmine told us you were back”

“Hello Raf” The men hugged and Raf smiled softly. He had seen Hayden in worse states but he could see that the man had been crying 

“Captain. Good to see you again. That was a quick visit” Serena walked towards the men and the trio took a seat in the chair set that had been allocated to the rose gardens “Is everything alright?”

“No. It hasn't been alright since Alex died” Raf took a deep breath and looked down at the cracked flagstone path. Serena swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat as the silence took over the trio “Bernie died with her that day and I stood by and let it happen”

“H. We all stood by and let it happen” Raf took his friend sadly. Serena saw the guilt and sadness falling from Hayden and Raf. It hadn't just been the household that had been affected by Alex's death 

“I don't know how much you know about Bernie and Alex Ms Campbell but the love between them wasn't false or driven by passion and lust it was... it was deep and true.” Raf knew the time had come for Serena to know the full extent of what had driven Bernie to become so cold and indifferent. She had to know if she was going to reach Bernie during her recovery “The excitement of it being a forbidden relationship didn't change what they felt or how they acted. They were friends before they were lovers and that helped in protecting them. The combination was blended together so perfectly that, for a time, I didn't even see the change and I was around them everyday.”

“I know Alex was killed in a gunfight during a patrol but nothing else.”

“It isn't my story to tell Ms Campbell but I can tell you that if Alex hadn't done what she did I wouldn't be here and neither would Bernie.” Serena nodded her head as a picture of what happened in the village began to form in her mind. “Alex was my best friend along with Bernie and I was devastated by her loss but the grief I saw from Bernie was... all consuming and it's destroyed her because I didn't help her and I feel so much guilt and sadness. I grieved for Alex and I need to grieve for Bernie”

“Bernie isn't dead Captain. She's lost.” Serena couldn't believe that Hayden had gave up on Bernie so easily but Hayden had seen and dealt with Bernie's behaviour for far longer than she had 

“She may as well be dead. She wants to be” 

“Well she isn't and she won't be” Hayden saw the determination in Serena's eyes and smiled softly. Maybe Serena could be the one to bring his old friend back from the deep, dark hole she had put herself in

“I want my friend back. I need her back.” The tears had returned to Hayden's eyes and he quickly wiped the rogue ones that had already fallen away with his fingers 

“Cameron and Charlotte need their mother back and Beatrice her daughter”

“Those kids.” Hayden took a deep breath and shifted in the chair he had sat in as his foot began to pain again “Marcus was an arse but he was a good father. Beatrice shouldn't have interfered in the divorce and should have allowed them to go with him even though he didn't want them, they wanted him”

“Why didn't he want them?” Hayden shrugged his shoulders and shook his head. Everyone who had known about the divorce and had all asked the same question without getting an answer that would be classed as satisfactory in their minds. 

“I don't know. Maybe he got tired of playing father. He wasn't cut out to be a army husband, he couldn't hack it” Everyone in that house had seen that and knew Hayden was right. Marcus was weak and had struggled to bear the weight of raising two kids alone on his back 

“He knew Bernie didn't love him” Serena had always been curious about the failed marriage as it had been a big part as to why the kids were so unhappy here. 

“Oh he knew. He always knew but went along with the marriage anyway.” Raf said as he sat back in his chair. The entire household knew as did Hayden and Alex that Marcus had always known Bernie could never love him as he loved her. “Marcus loved Bernie and in the end I think he realised she'd never love him so he cut all ties and those ties included the kids” 

“That's appalling. They're his flesh and blood” Serena felt the disgust and anger towards Marcus and his actions build up within her. How could any man decide willingly that he wanted nothing to do with his children? 

“Where are the kids anyway?” Hayden asked Serena and Raf. He had hoped to see his godchildren whilst he was on medical leave. He had missed them 

“They're with Beatrice. At least for now” Hayden looked at Serena then Raf and saw they were hiding something from him in regards to the kids 

“What happened?”

“Bernie... she eh. She wasn't overly happy to see them when she woke up from her coma” Hayden's face grew dark, anger and disappointment suddenly swelled within him. How could Bernie do this to her kids? She could have died and they could have lost their mother “She basically told me to get them out of the hospital and back home to do their homework”

“I didn't realise it had gotten so bad. Why didn't you tell me Raf? Why didn't someone tell me?” Raf looked away from Hayden ashamed of the actions he had taken in regards to the kids and their happiness. Everyone else in that household had made bad choices when it came to the kids and they all regretted them. 

“They had nannies coming in and at times things weren't bad. When Bernie was away they weren't so unhappy and Serena... well she's made them happier than they've been in a long time” Hayden looked at the woman who had decided to make it her mission to help Bernie and bring this family back together. “They've been... kids”

“They're great. The kids. I'm extremely fond of them and I want to help them” Serena said with fondness. She did truly love those children. 

“Thank you Ms Campbell. I think of those kids as my family” Hayden could see that Serena was held in high regard by Raf and he suspected the others in the household. He could see the love Serena had for the kids and smiled

“You're welcome and it's Serena”

“Then I insist you call me Hayden or H as everyone else does” The trio laughed and were unaware that Jasmine had come to find them for dinner 

“Sorry to interrupt but dinner's on the table” The trio all looked at Jasmine and nodded their heads.

“Care to join us?” Serena asked Hayden as the trio stood up from their seats 

“I'd like that and I don't mean to be a nuisance but I need to somewhere to stay” 

“You rented your flat out again?” Jasmine asked as the group headed towards the house. Fletch was already sat on the patio by the main doors into the gardens 

“Yeah. I wasn't expecting to be home so soon” Hayden says tapping his crutch against the ground to indicate his unexpected injuries 

“I'll make up the sofa bed in the living room.” Jasmine said as she shook her head at Hayden. It was a good thing to do in order to bolster income but when things happen such as unexpected medical leave it left Hayden up a creek without a paddle. The group sat down at the table and tucked into the amazing meal Jasmine had prepared 

“Thanks Jas” Hayden said as he raised his glass in respect.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hayden and Serena learn a bit more about each other as they work towards a friendship that will only help their want to get Bernie back to full health, physically and mentally

Chapter 19

The evening had cut in quickly after dinner so the group retreated inside. Fletch and Raf headed back out into the gardens and off towards the cottage they shared on the edge of the grounds whilst Serena, Hayden and Jasmine made their way back into the main house and into the living room

“I'll go and get you a duvet and some pillows H” Jasmine made her way out of the living room and headed upstairs to retrieve what she needed and left Hayden and Serena to talk amongst themselves

“So Serena why are you here if the kids aren't?” 

“I'm not just a nanny. I'm also a doctor and rather than get a number of nurses in I've decided to help with Bernie's care”

“Once a doctor, always a doctor” Serena nodded her head and laughed. That was so very true. 

“Indeed. What about you? Are you a doctor?”

“Eh no. I'm a specially trained trauma nurse. Bernie is the surgeon I'm just the bystander” Hayden says light heartedly knowing that wasn't the case. There were no bystanders in RAMC and in trauma surgery.

“Hardly.” There had been a lull in the conversation, a lull long enough for Hayden to make a decision. He wanted Bernie to be Bernie again and if Serena had a plan to make that happen he wanted to help.

“Listen I'm not due to go back to the front-line any time soon so if you need any help I'd be more than happy to give you a hand. I know how difficult Bernie can be and she's the worst patient” Serena looked at the man, surprise etched on her face but if this meant one less nurse to bring in then it could only be a good thing. 

“You helped her when she was previously injured?” 

“I was the only one she'd let treat her after the ambush. I've seen her work plenty times to know roughly what I was doing” Hayden had never let the images of what he had to do to save Bernie's leg that day leave him. He had to be so brave that day and it had paid off when Bernie lived and her leg was saved. “I still don't know to this day how she managed to get us all to safety with her leg being shot up. Adrenaline I suppose”

“Adrenaline and fear can drive people to do extraordinary things.”

“And Bernie is extraordinary. Before Alex died Bernie was...” Hayden chuckled and sat back. He shook his head and smiled “Well she was the people's Captain. Everyone loved her. Yes she was a command figure but she never abused the power the position gave her. She always so social, she never isolated from her troops, always in the thick of it”

“And after Alex died?”

“She became distant, cold. She stopped being Bernie. Used to take her meals in her tent, never made an effort to socialise any more. She became an island in the sea of sand that no one could reach” Before the pair could continue the conversation Jasmine came back with a covered duvet and a couple of pillows. “Thanks Jasmine” Hayden and Serena stood up so they'd be able to make up the sofa bed. The trio worked as a team to pull out the bed-frame. Hayden hissed as he stumbled and gripped the arm of the chair behind him 

“Oh okay take it easy” Serena quickly stepped in to steady him, gently holding onto his good arm “Okay?”

“Yes. I keep forgetting I only have one good arm, one good foot and two or three decent ribs” Serena helped Hayden into the seat behind him and allowed him to rest for a few moments 

“Which is why you should be resting and until you're fully healed you're on bed rest and light duties. I'll be able to cope without you for a couple weeks” Hayden knew Serena was right and that rest was what he needed. He could have been stubborn about it but that was Bernie's job and one she had excelled at for sometime 

“Okay okay you win Doctor” 

“Good answer Captain” Jasmine snickered at the pair as she made up the sofa bed and that snicker drew Hayden's attention to her 

“What's so funny baby Naylor?” Jasmine threw the cushion at Hayden for calling her that and glared at him. He chuckled and threw the cushion back at her 

“You two... you're becoming fast friends”

“Jasmine you know damn well I bat for the other team” Hayden told the girl after he caught the meaning of her words. “And if I were straight Serena wouldn't be my type. Sorry Serena” Serena acted mock offended before she chuckled. She shook her head at Hayden's words but wasn't bothered by them.

“It's okay. No offence taken. I straddled the fence so male or female doesn't bother me”

“Oh so you're bi? I thought so. Do you have a preference or not?” Hayden had picked up something on his gaydar when he first saw Serena and was happy that it was still working after all the time away from the club scene. 

“No not really. If I feel that the person is someone I could have a relationship with then I go for it. My last partner was a police officer and I thought I could have been happy with him and I was until he didn't want to be part of a family unit that had an autistic child among its ranks”

“That's disgusting... truly it is. I have an autistic niece and she's one of the best people I know.” Hayden hated people who believed themselves to be above someone with autism and how isolated and lonely their lives are when they're unwanted by families. 

“Yes my nephew is an amazing young man. He can't process emotion nor understand why some of the things he says can be rude or offensive to other people but I wouldn't change him for the world” Hayden sat down on his newly assembled bed and nodded his head. Serena knelt down and looked over Hayden's plastered ankle. She knew she wouldn't get a good look at the ankle whilst it was still encased in plaster

“I've slept on worse” Hayden plumped his pillow and yawned. The day and the painkillers had caught up and had made him tired

“I think we should leave you to rest.” Serena stood up and looked at Jasmine, who dismissed her from the living room. “Goodnight Captain” Hayden smiled softly at Serena and saluted the woman

“Goodnight Ms Campbell” Serena bowed her head in respect to Hayden before she turned on heel and left the living room closing the door behind her. Once he had been left alone Hayden pulled out his wallet and opened it. There was a picture of himself, Bernie and Alex just before their deployment, the deployment that proved to be Alex's last. They had been the best of friends. Hayden needed his surviving best friend to come back to him, to her family and to her comrades.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernie comes home pushing things from bad to worse as her relationship with Cameron and Charlotte goes even further south and Fletch digs himself a hole he may never be able to get out of.

Chapter 20

The day had arrived for Bernie to come home. The entire household was on edge. Raf and Fletch had decided that they'd remain in the gardens, Jasmine and the part time cook confined themselves to kitchen, Hayden had gone to see a couple of his friends in town and that left only Serena and Beatrice, who had brought the children home for a few days, to tend to Bernie when she arrived. The children were currently at school safely out of the way of The Major's short fuse 

“I don't know how thrilled the children will be to see their mother” Beatrice said in a murmured tone as they lingered in the hallway. Jac had called about twenty minutes earlier and said that the Major had been discharged and was on her way home in a patient transport 

“We'll find out soon enough” Serena had seen the children a couple of times over the last week and had struggled to find any enthusiasm from them about their mother coming home. It had been disheartening to see. 

“I'll go and check everything is ready” Serena nodded her head and turned it as Beatrice headed into her daughter's study. Serena sighed before she turned her attentions back to the front entrance. She heard an approaching vehicle and made her way outside to see a patient transport ambulance coming towards the house. She steeled herself as it pulled up and a paramedic got out. She recognized the man and smiled 

“Ian. It's nice to see you again”

“Ms Campbell. It's been a while” Ian opened the rear doors of the ambulance and lowered the wheelchair ramp whilst his colleague had pushed Bernie toward the back of the ambulance in preparation to take her out. Serena waited with baited breath as Ian's colleague wheeled the Major down the ramp 

“Hello Major.” The paramedic handed over Bernie's belongings and smiled at Serena. 

“Ms Campbell” Serena raised an eyebrow as she took over from Ian's colleague “Thank you for bringing her home.” Ian and his fellow paramedic just smiled for a moment before Ian raised the ramp and the other paramedic got into the cab. Beatrice came out just as the ambulance pulled away. She looked at her wheelchair bound daughter and took a deep breath 

“Hello Bernie. You must be glad to be home” Serena had turned the Major around and was about to bring her into the house when Beatrice came outside 

“Mother and yes I am. I was tired of looking at the same four walls all day. I take it you've brought the children with you?” The trio headed inside with Serena on wheelchair duty. Beatrice walked along side them as they headed into the hallway 

“They're at school but yes I've brought them to visit.”

“Perhaps you'd like to see them when they get home Major?” Serena suggested to the woman as she hoped against all hope that the answer would be yes 

“I thought they didn't want to see me so what would be the point?” 

“The point being, Berenice, is that they're your children and as much as they pretend not to care about you, they miss you” Beatrice said softly towards her daughter as they entered the study/bedroom. Much of the furniture had been left where it was whilst Bernie's bed brought down and had been pushed up against the feature wall where her bookcases had stood previously. “I need to go and pick up the children” Bernie watched as her mother turned on heel and left the study. She knew she had to be better. She had to try and be better for the kids 

“Now as you can't go upstairs until you're free of the cast and crutches you'll be sleeping in here. I've turned the snug next door into a make shift on call room where I'll be sleeping for the duration whilst the conservatory has been turned into a physiotherapy room” 

“So basically my life, for the moment, is confined to these three rooms?” Bernie said to Serena as she looked up at the doctor/nanny from her wheelchair

“No you will able to access the rest of the ground floor and the patio in your wheelchair. You're not a prisoner in your own home Bernie” Bernie sighed and looked around. She saw that the photo of herself and Alex had been moved, that her medals had been put away somewhere and that the desk and wall mounted sleeves were now lined with various photographs of her and children before Alex died. 

“So what's the plan?” Serena saw Bernie scan the room as she looked over the changes to her study. She could see Bernie's eyes linger over the picture of herself and Alex for a few moments before the blonde's eyes moved around the room

“I'll be here seven days a week, Captain Harris will assist me when he's fully recovered and a physio will come three days a week.”

“Oh wonderful.” Serena saw the resentment in Bernie's eyes. She saw how much Bernie hated being like this and how much she had become a burden “What?”

“You've been seriously injured not paralysed or worse. Your injuries will heal in time” Serena said gently as she sat down in front of Bernie. It was going to be a long first battle in the war to save Bernie and those children 

“Don't do that. Don't try and get inside my head Ms Campbell”

“Is that what you think I'm doing?” Serena shook her head at Bernie and sighed “I'm not trying to get inside your head Bernie I'm trying to make you see that I'm here to help you.” 

“I don't need your help or want it.” The coldness in Bernie's voice could have frozen water if it were possible. The blonde was stubborn, very stubborn and didn't think she was worthy of help never mind about needing it. “I just want to be left alone” Serena had expected Bernie to retreat into her shell and to wallow in the self pity and self loathing but she wasn't going to let Bernie do it, not again. 

“Not this time Major because whether you like it or not I'm here and I am not going anywhere” Serena was not going to be ordered around or be pushed away no matter how hard Bernie would try. “I'm not doing this for you Bernie I'm doing it for Cameron and Charlotte because they need you even if you don't think they do” Serena stood walked out of the study. She left Bernie to herself and headed outside to take some time to cool off. Bernie looked at the door and closed her eyes. Why hadn't she died in that attack? At least then she'd be at peace and with Alex. 

“I remember a time where you'd do anything for your kids” Fletch entered the study from the patio doors and looked at his employer and friend as she sat hunched in the wheelchair “All those hours spent in the gardens playing with them, going to watch Cam in a match or going to one of Charlotte's chess games gone” Fletch shook his head and looked down at the patterned carpet. He had been silent for too long and now it had all tumbled out “Bernie Wolfe the brave and proud soldier is now nothing but an empty, cold shell with a cold, dead heart. Alex wouldn't have wanted this Bernie, you've done nothing but disrespect her memory” There was a cold, tense silence between Bernie and Fletch for a few moments before Bernie turned herself around, her eyes never drifting to Fletch 

“Get out” Fletch smiled coldly as he knew he had hit a nerve. He had hit Bernie where it had hurt but he didn't care. The friendship he had once had with Bernie had dissolved into nothing more but an employer/employee relationship, one filled with disappointment and hurt. 

“Fletch I suggest you leave. Now” Serena had heard what Fletch had said to Bernie and knew it had been the wrong time to say especially when Bernie was so fragile both physically and mentally. Fletch looked up at Serena and shook his head before he hastily left the way he came 

“He has no idea what Alex would want” Bernie murmured quietly as she turned and wheeled herself towards her bed. The bed was low enough down that she'd be able to get in and out of it without much assistance. Serena walked over to Bernie quietly and gently helped the blonde from the wheelchair to the bed. 

“No he doesn't but he wasn't wrong was he?” Bernie locked eyes with Serena as the brunette pulled the duvet over the blonde's knees. Before Bernie could reply there was a knock on the door of the study and it opened slowly. Cameron and Charlotte quietly entered the room but were unable to bring themselves to look up at their mother “Aren't you going to say hello?” Serena asked the children as they shuffled on their feet nervously. Beatrice stood by the door and closed her eyes as the children nor Bernie made an effort to speak. 

“Can we go and do our homework Grandma?” Charlotte said quietly as she desperately wanted to leave the room. Serena looked at Bernie and sighed heavily disappointed by the lack of trying on either side 

“Of course” Beatrice watched as the children walked out of the study. She was saddened by this turn of events and followed them into the library 

“You know what Major. You don't deserve to be those kids' mother you really don't” Serena shook her head and quickly headed out of the study towards the library. Bernie felt so disappointed in herself and so angry at herself because she knew Serena was right. She didn't deserve to be a mother.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernie and Serena interact for the first time since the Major arrived home and it produces results that give Serena hope that Bernie may yet be able to fight through the demons that follow her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait and that there hasn't been much Berena interaction but that will change from now.   
> Please keep the comments and kudos coming

Chapter 21

After a few days the atmosphere in the house hadn't improved and the children felt more isolated than ever. Beatrice had gone out to do some shopping and had left them at the house whilst Serena and Bernie had wordless exchanges whilst the brunette tended to the neck surgical wound site

“It's healing well. Jac and Guy have done a good job” Serena cleaned the neck wound, her eyes traced the already cleaned sections checking for infection. Once she was done she checked the stitching and nodded her head. She looked at Bernie before she applied the clean dressing “There you go” Bernie looked at Serena before she opened her shirt. It was the first time Serena had checked the chest wound since Bernie came out of hospital “Lay back for me?” Bernie did as Serena had told her and laid back against her pillows. The blonde felt so self conscious about the chest wound as it reminded her how close she came to dying. 

“It's been a little tender the past day or two” 

“Why didn't you say something Bernie? You know that is a sign it could be infected” Serena gently peeled away the soiled dressing and sighed. She gently pressed her fingers down the wound and looked up at Bernie for any reaction “Well there's no redness or swelling and there isn't any discharge so no infection.”

“I'm sorry” Serena momentarily looked at Bernie as the woman apologized. She gently cleaned the wound with water before she patted down the wound removing the water

“For what?” 

“I'm stubborn Ms Campbell and they do say doctors make the worst patients” Serena smiled as she applied the fresh dressing to Bernie's chest wound 

“And it's true” Serena pressed the dressing down gently and was satisfied that it wouldn't peel “All done.” Serena took off her gloves and laid them down next to the soiled dressings. Serena looked at Bernie and found saw the blonde was looking at the photo and herself and Alex “You miss her” 

“Every day” Bernie sounded so sad, so vulnerable. Serena had never felt such a love in her life. Edward had been comfortable, he had been her best friend since school and was the safe option. She hadn't loved him as she should have but she got Elinor out of it and she'd be forever grateful for that. “Could you go into the library and get the copy of Pride and Prejudice please?” 

“Of course” Serena disposed of the soiled dressings and the gloves before she headed out of the makeshift bedroom. Bernie pulled her gaze away from the photo and sighed. All the sadness and anger she felt about her inability to return to the army was slowly seeping out of her. She had to get on with her life but she wasn't ready to let go yet and she had no idea if she was ever going to be ready. 

“I remember when I took that photo” Hayden had crept in from the gardens and took the photo in his good hand “It was a good day that day”

“It was and those were rare” Hayden sat down and put the photo onto Bernie's lap. He watched as she picked it up 

“There were some good times weren't there?” Bernie looked at her friend as she gripped the photo tightly 

“There were some amazing times” Hayden smiled and nodded his head as he reached out and took Bernie's hand in his own squeezing it gently. Serena came back in with the book in hand looked between Bernie and Hayden 

“Sorry.”

“It's okay. I was just checking up on our patient” Hayden stood and released Bernie's hand as Serena approached the bed 

“H... thank you”

“For what Bernie?”

“Saving my life” 

“That's what friends are for Bernstein” Bernie chuckled at Hayden's use of his nickname for her as he headed back out into the gardens. Serena smiled at the friendship between Bernie and Hayden. It was deep one and built over the years in war zones 

“Here you are” Serena put the book on the night-stand and turned her head to look at the blonde medic “You two have such an amazing friendship” Bernie looked at Serena and nodded her head, a small smile on her lips

“He was a young, fresh faced recruit when I first met him. He was so eager to impress, to show what an amazing nurse he was. He quickly learnt that war zone medicine wasn't something to be taken lightly and he learnt it the hard way. One of his fellow recruits and a good friend of his was fatally injured and there was nothing I could do to save him. Hayden kept pushing me to try but his friend was already gone.” Serena sat down and listened to Bernie. It was the first time the blonde had spoken so freely about anything to do with the army and her life in it. “He was devastated so I decided to take him under my wing”

“You did a good job” Serena said softly. Bernie must be so proud of what Hayden had become.

“He was the only one who truly knew what was going on between Alex and I and he protected us, he became like a brother to me and to Alex”

“He told me about what happened after the ambush, how you'd only allow him to operate on you. That takes a great deal of trust especially as Hayden is only a nurse”

“I taught him various basic procedures just in case he was the only medic in the field. I knew he was capable of doing it and no one is just a nurse in front line medicine”

“Sorry I didn't mean to offend you or Hayden” Serena puts her hands in a surrender and apology. She should have realised that front line medicine is very different to any other medicine, the lines are blurred can get blurred in front line medicine when desperate times call for desperate measures “The children will be home soon”

“I know you must think I'm a bad mother and you'd be right.”

“I don't think you're a bad mother Major. I just think you're scared of being one. In a way you don't know how to be a mother because you've spent so much time away” Bernie looked at Serena and furrowed her brow as she thought about what Serena has just said. Serena was right. She didn't know to be a mother because she was never around long enough to learn. Marcus had always been there. When she was home from tour she allowed Marcus to suggest outings and family meals, she followed his lead “Get some rest Major”

“Ms Campbell... when I'm able could you take me to one of Cam's matches?” Serena looked at Bernie, hope filled her heart and she nodded 

“Of course” Bernie just smiled in return and closed her eyes. Serena watched Bernie for a few moments. She looked at peace as she did in the hospital all those weeks ago but Serena knew Bernie still had to battle the ghosts that haunted her and this was only the start.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Serena and Bernie grow closer as the injured soldier opens up about Alex and the relationship with her children

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so so so sorry about the wait! I've had writer's block and personal issues. I had to move back into my parents so i was busy packing and dealing with family issues. Be assured that the updates will now be as regular as I can manage.

Chapter 22

After a couple of hours Bernie had tired of reading her book. She sighed and placed the book down on the bedside table. She grimaced a little when she shifted in bed, her rear ached and she had grown annoyed at looking at the same four walls. Serena came back into the study/bedroom and saw that Bernie was in pain and discomfort 

“Bernie? What’s hurting?”

“My backside” Serena chuckled as she approached the bed. She sat on the edge of the bed and looked at her patient “It isn’t funny” Serena smirked and looked up at Bernie before she nodded her head. 

“I know. Sorry. Why don’t we head outside in the wheelchair?” Bernie looked at Serena and then outside and nodded. It looked so beautiful outside and she had missed the sun, missed being in the gardens she had loved for so long 

“I’d like that…” There was a soft tone to Bernie’s voice that Serena hadn’t heard before and it made the brunette’s attitude toward the blonde softened. “Thank you Serena…” Serena stood and fetched the wheelchair over from where it stood. 

“You’re welcome Bernie” Serena helped Bernie into the wheelchair and made sure to mind the injured medic’s leg and arm “Okay?” Bernie shifted on the padded seat and grimaced as her leg ached

“Yes. Yes I’m fine just achy” 

“How’s your backside?” Serena asked with a teasing smile as Bernie looked up at her doctor with a crooked eyebrow and a playful expression. The blonde medic decided that a thaw in tensions between herself and Serena was just what the doctor ordered, that it had to be beneficial for all involved and that included the children

“Better” Serena helped Bernie rest her pinned leg against the leg brace that had been attached to the wheelchair before she pushed Bernie out into the sun and on top the patio 

“Hmm… I used to spend so much time out here” 

“Fletch told me. Why did you stop?” Serena sat down opposite Bernie as they basked in the afternoon sun

“When Alex and I were on leave we spent so much time here in the garden. It was our safe place when Marcus was in the house”

“And after she died…”

“I couldn’t bare it. Too many memories” Serena looked around the garden and saw ghostly spectres of Bernie and Alex walking around the gardens talking, holding hands, trying to be a couple instead of being hidden in the shadows 

“Marcus knew didn’t he?”

“Yes… yes he knew. He made it perfectly clear during the divorce proceedings” Serena certainly wasn’t a stranger to divorce and knew exactly how nasty proceedings could turn. “I should have left Marcus sooner but I didn’t for the sake of the children and now I’ve destroyed my relationship with them anyway” Serena heard the tears in Bernie’s voice and quickly knelt down in front of the stricken soldier, her hand quick to take Bernie’s as an attempt to comfort the woman

“No you haven’t Bernie. You haven’t” Serena looked over Bernie’s shoulder and saw Cameron and Charlotte come out into the gardens “Your children are a credit to you and to Marcus, they’re the best of you both” The children stopped and looked at their mother and their nanny and then at each other as they stood still to listen “You just need to show them that you can be their mother again”

“I do love them… of course I do they’re my kids. I’m just terrified I’ll lose them like I lost Alex. I can’t lose anyone Serena” The children hadn’t seen their mother so vulnerable and upset since Alex’s funeral and they couldn’t hide their shame as they listened to their mother. They had been so wrong about her 

“I lost my daughter to her father because I was so focused on my career that I failed to see her drifting away from me. I don’t even know where she is. Your children are here and they want nothing more to have their mother back” 

“Help me Serena… please” 

“I’ll help you Bernie. I’ll help you” Serena looked at the two children and smiled weakly. The pair looked at each other and made a silent pact to help Serena help their mother. The hard work started now to repair the fractured relationship. 

“Thank you” 

“You can thank me by having dinner with myself and the children” The children continued on their walk around the garden as Serena and their mother made their plans 

“Okay… I can do that” Serena smiled and caressed the back of Bernie’s hand with her thumb, unaware she was doing it. Bernie, however, was all too aware and felt her cheeks had flushed with the continuous ministrations. After a few moments Serena took her hand away and stood up clearing her throat

“I’ll go and tell Jasmine. Will you be okay for a few minutes?”

“I’ll be fine” Serena hurried off inside and stopped just inside the conservatory. She turned and looked at Bernie for a few moments before she headed downstairs into the kitchen to tell Jasmine there would be an extra person at dinner. Meanwhile on the patio Bernie flexed her hand and took a deep, shaky breathe. ‘It was meant as a comforting gesture because you were upset’ Bernie told herself before she looked out onto the garden and took another deep breath. Unknown to both women Hayden and the children had seen the exchange and all had realised that there maybe something deeper developing between doctor and patient and none of them found themselves against the idea.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's dinner time and emotions overflow as Bernie and her children finally reunite.

Chapter 23

Dinner time came around quickly. Serena and Bernie found themselves unable to tear themselves away from the gardens for the afternoon so they had read whilst the children played football. Hayden had gone out for the evening to speak to the tenants currently renting his flat in the centre of town to update them on his situation and couldn’t join the family for dinner much to his annoyance. After the earlier incident Bernie and Serena hadn’t really spoken other than Serena asking if Bernie was okay and Bernie giving the same answer of yes every time. 

“Are you ready to go in to dinner?” Serena asked the soldier softly as she stood behind the wheelchair poised to push Bernie into the house

“Yes. I’m rather peckish if I’m being honest” Serena sighed and looked down at Bernie before she started to push the medic back into the house via the conservatory. 

“You should have said something. I would I have gotten you something” Bernie heard the irritation in Serena’s voice. She was annoyed at her. Bernie didn’t want to disturb the woman, who had been so engrossed in her book 

“I didn’t want to disturb you” They entered the hallway and Serena stopped just outside the dining room. She knelt down in front of Bernie and looked up at the stubborn woman with a softness in her eyes

“Bernie I’m your doctor and your carer, if you need something just say so” Bernie nodded her head in agreement and looked suitably chastised at her telling off.   
“Sorry” Serena sighed and went to take Bernie’s hand but stopped herself, pulling her own hand back toward her 

“Don’t be just remember that I’m here to help okay?” Bernie felt the disappointment flow through her as Serena resisted the want to touch her. Friends comforted each other didn’t they? So why couldn’t Serena bring herself to comfort her?

“Okay” Serena stood and moved so she was around the back of the wheelchair again. The children were already sat at the table when Serena pushed their mother into the room. There was a tense silence for a moment as Serena placed Bernie at the head of the table “Cam. Charlie.”

“Did you mean what you said before Mum? Do you really love us?” Bernie flashed her eyes toward Serena in panic at Cameron’s questions. The children had heard what had been said earlier. Serena looked at Bernie and gave her a reassuring smile. 

“Of course I love you both Cammy… I’m just scared I’ll lose you” Bernie reached over and took her son’s hand in her own and looked between the two children. She took a deep breath and caressed the back of her son’s hand as Serena had done to her

“You won’t lose us Mum because we can’t lose you” Cam’s words were so softly spoken that both Serena and Bernie would have missed them if they hadn’t been on tender hooks about the response

“I’m sorry I’ve been such a bad mum…”

“We’re sorry we’ve been such bad kids” Both Serena and Bernie looked up sharply at Charlotte’s words and both shook their heads. Bernie was incensed by the fact the children blamed themselves for what had happened between them

“No! No! Lottie this is all on me. Losing Alex shook me up so badly that I forgot what was important to me and that was you and your brother. I know that repairing the damage I’ve done will take a while but with Serena’s help I hope that we’ll be a family again”

“We thought that you didn’t love us like Daddy” Bernie felt the tears that had gathered in her eyes had begun to fall. Her behaviour had suggested that she didn’t love them hadn’t it? God what had she put her own children through? How could she ever make it up to them?

“Charlotte your father made a selfish decision that has caused so much hurt and anger but I promise you I would never do what he did. I would never ever abandon you” The honesty that radiated from Bernie’s voice touched something deep inside Serena and her own guilt over losing her daughter to her pathetic excuse of an ex-husband gnawed away at her. 

“Nor will I” Serena said softly as she looked between the twins “None of you” She then pulled her gaze over to Bernie and smiled softly. Bernie swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded her head. “And once your mother is back on her feet you’ll have to work together to make each other better and I’ll be there to help” In an unexpected turn of events both Cameron and Charlotte hopped off their chairs and hugged their mother as best they could. Bernie was stiff briefly before she wrapped an arm around each of her children and hugged them back, tears rolled down her cheeks. Jasmine nearly dropped the trays she had been carrying when she saw the scene in front of her. Serena looked up at her and smiled, her own tears stained her face 

“I love you both so much and I am so so sorry” Bernie whispered to her children as she held them as tight as she could as she feared as they’d disappear into thin air. Serena nodded to Jasmine to serve up dinner. The blonde, whose eyes were filled with tears, moved her feet and served up the dinner. She smiled at Serena and patted the woman’s shoulder as she turned on heel and headed out of the dining room as she wiped away the tears that fell from her eyes. 

“After dinner why don’t you all watch a film and maybe your mother could read you a story before you both head up to bed?” Serena suggested, her voice noticeably strained by tears. 

“Would you mummy?” Charlotte asked her mother as she cuddled into her wheelchair bound mother 

“Of course I will pumpkin… of course I will” Bernie kissed her daughter’s head and caressed her son’s hair softly. She looked up at Serena and smiled gratefully at the woman.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An after dinner movie and Bernie and Serena become closer as the Major's walls begin to crumble.

Chapter 24

After dinner the family retired to the sitting room. Jasmine served up some coffee and juice, a smile never left her lips. Serena followed the family into the living room and watched as the children set up a film of their choice. 

“Would you like to sit on the sofa or are you okay in the wheelchair?” Bernie looked up at Serena and then looked at the sofa. She wanted so much for her and the children to cuddle up together “I can get the foot rest for you”

“I’d like that” Bernie nodded her head and Serena smiled softly as she prepared to move Bernie from the wheelchair to the sofa. 

“Sofa it is” Serena wrapped her arms around the medic and stumbled a little as she lifted Bernie from her wheelchair. The brunette swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat as she felt Bernie’s back muscles tense. She had felt those muscles earlier and had found herself wondering what was under Bernie’s shirt “Oh sorry…” Serena looked at Bernie with an embarrassed smile as she regained her balance

“It’s okay” Bernie replied softly as Serena sat her down on the sofa “I didn’t think I was that heavy” The medic teased her carer, making the woman flush red with embarrassment

“You’re not. Far from it” Serena mumbled in response as she walked over to the far side of the room to retrieve the foot stool. When she turned around to walk back she saw Cameron and Charlotte cuddled into their mother as the film started. She smiled softly and returned to Bernie. She knelt down and propped Bernie’s foot up on the stool 

“Comfortable?”

“Very” Bernie smiled down at Serena as she wrapped an arm around each of her children. Serena nodded her head and stood, quickly moving out of the way of the television  
“I’ll be in the library”

“Serena stay” Cameron said in a small voice. He looked up at his nanny with those big brown eyes that he had, no doubt, inherited from his mother and she caved. She sighed with a smile and nodded her head. Serena sat down by Cameron and turned her attention to the film. 

About twenty minutes into the film Bernie glanced briefly over to Serena, who was engrossed in the film and who now had Cameron cuddled into her, and realised how much they looked like a family. Bernie’s heart fluttered but the blonde shook her head and blocked out the thoughts that had started whirling around her head. She looked down at Charlotte and smiled when she saw her daughter had drifted off to sleep curled into her side. She kissed her daughter’s hair before she returned her attention to the film. 

By the end of the film Cameron had joined his sister in the land of nod and was curled into Serena. The brunette smiled and stroked the boy’s hair before she looked up and saw Charlotte curled into her mother fast asleep 

“She fell asleep about twenty minutes in” Bernie said softly as she saw Serena looking over “I don’t have the heart to wake her” 

“I don’t think Hayden will be back this evening. I’ll make up the bed and they can sleep down here” Bernie nodded in agreement with Serena’s plan and watched as Serena gently moved laying Cameron down on the sofa. “They don’t have to be at school tomorrow so they can have a lie in” Serena gently lifted Charlotte away from her mother’s side and laid her down next to her brother so she could lift Bernie back into the wheelchair. 

“Thank you” Bernie shifted on the padded seat as she settled back into the wheelchair. 

“For what?” Serena dragged the duvet that Hayden had used and placed it over the sleeping children. The pair looked so peaceful. 

“Don’t act stupid Serena” Bernie looked up at the nanny with a raised eyebrow and an unimpressed look at the brunette’s casual and dismissive attitude about what she had achieved by being able to bring the broken family back together

“I didn’t do anything Bernie. This was all you. You opened up and they understood. They don’t blame you nor do they hate you” Once Serena had made sure the children were tucked in and comfortable she turned back to Bernie

“You helped me realise that I was keeping them at a distance because I was terrified of losing them, of being a bad mother” The Major looked up at Serena; her eyes glistened with tears that threatened to fall. Serena swallowed the lump in her 

“I didn’t want to see another mother lose their child or children in your case”

“Like you lost your daughter?” Bernie said softly as Serena pushed her out of the living room toward her temporary rooms  
“Exactly”

“If you want to talk about it…”

“Not right now.” Serena shook her head as she stopped the wheelchair just short of the bed and placed the brakes on

“Sorry” Serena looked down at Bernie then sat down on the bed. She looked straight at Bernie and sighed. She shook her head and ran a hand through her short brown locks

“It’s just… I haven’t spoken to anyone about it” 

“Like I said if you ever want to talk about it” Bernie put a hand on Serena’s arm and smiled softly. After everything Serena had done for the children and her family Bernie owed Serena big time

“Thank you Bernie” Serena looked down at the hand on her arm and allowed herself to be immersed by the comfort that Bernie tried to provide. Bernie dropped her hand and flexed her hand as Serena stood up so she could help Bernie out of the chair “What about you? Have you ever spoken to anyone about what happened?”

“You mean a shrink? No. No I haven’t” Bernie wrapped an arm around Serena as the brunette lifted her from the wheelchair and shifted so Bernie could sit down “My CO at the time said I should have but I didn’t.” Serena knelt down and removed Bernie’s shoes and set them to one side. She stood, gently examined Bernie’s neck wound “I didn’t want to confront my grief and anger over what had happened” 

“And now?” Bernie unbuttoned her shirt and looked away shyly as Serena turned away to give Bernie some privacy

“I don’t know” Bernie winced as she tried to push the shirt from her shoulders “Eh… I need some help” Serena started to regret giving the nurse the night off as she turned around. She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat when she saw Bernie’s exposed upper body. Her gaze dropped to Bernie’s toned stomach. There were scars from previous minor injuries and one other that Serena realised was from the incident that had taken Alex from Bernie “I got that during the ambush. I didn’t know I had been hit until I got every… until I got the remainder of my platoon to safety” Serena shook herself out of the reverie she had found herself in and rushed over to help Bernie out of her shirt

“Adrenaline can do that” Serena picked up Bernie’s pyjama shirt and helped her on with it “Hayden told me he was the only one you’d let patch you up after the ambush” Bernie buttoned up the shirt and then untied her tracksuit bottoms whilst Serena hung Bernie’s shirt up in the Major’s wardrobe 

“It was the shock.” Serena returned and knelt down sliding the tracksuit bottoms over the cast carefully. She took in the various scars on Bernie’s legs before she folded the bottoms up and put them on the rocking chair “When I woke up I remembered Alex was dead” Bernie felt the tears as they rolled down her cheeks and hid her face in her hands. Serena knelt down in front Bernie and wrapped her up in an embrace 

“It’s okay… let it out Bernie” 

“It should have been me” Serena felt Bernie shift her head so her face was hidden in her neck “It should have been me” Serena closed her eyes and held Bernie close. The guilt Bernie carried around had begun to cripple the woman emotionally and the dam had slowly begun to break.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fletch apologises, Serena and Hayden chat and Bernie has a night terror prompting a re-admission into Holby City Hospital.

Chapter 25

Pure emotion. That’s how Serena described Bernie’s mini break down. It had been pure, raw emotion. The dam had begun to break and it would only be a matter of time before the soldier’s defences came crashing down. Serena rubbed her eyes and took a deep breath as she watched Bernie finally sleep. She had held the woman not a few minutes earlier as she broke. She couldn’t fathom out how Bernie was able to sleep with what she had seen and experienced but was glad she could. She watched Bernie for a few more moments before she got up and quietly crept out of the room closing the door behind her. She headed into the library and sat down, her head in her hands 

“I thought you might need this” Serena was startled by the sudden presence in the doorway that carried a glass of Shiraz. Fletch. 

“You gave me a fright” 

“Sorry” The man approached the table and slid the full glass over to Serena, who took it gratefully. “Jasmine told Raf and I what happened.” The gardener sat down and looked down at his interlocked hands that rested on the table top

“It’ll take time but it’s a start” Serena took a sip of her Shiraz and smiled at the familiar and welcome taste of her favourite wine

“I’m sorry” Serena glanced at the man who looked so beaten, if not a little sheepish. Serena knew he had to feel guilt and remorse about what he had said to Bernie the day she came home from the hospital

“For what?”

“You were right. About the photo, me trying to force Alex’s memory from this place and for what I said to Bernie the day she came home” Serena nodded her head slowly as she took another sip of her wine before she set the glass down on the table. She looked up at the man in front of her and took a breath

“No matter how wrong Bernie’s actions were Fletch she loved Alex very much. A love like that can’t be just pushed under the carpet and forgotten” Fletch nodded his head in agreement with Serena’s words and felt like a right idiot about his behaviour. He hadn’t liked Marcus but he couldn’t agree with Bernie’s behaviour no matter how much joy and happiness it had brought her yet it couldn’t be denied either. It happened and Bernie was grieving. He needed to help his friend not punish her. 

“I know that now.”

“And it isn’t me you need to apologize to about what you said is it?” Serena gave Fletch a soft yet disappointed look as the gardener realised he’d have to grovel for forgiveness.

“I know. I’ll talk to her tomorrow” Serena smiled softly and took another sip of her wine as Fletch stood from the table and headed towards the door

“Good man” 

“I’ll leave you to it” Fletch left the library and left its current occupant to her wine. Serena looked up at the ceiling and sighed heavily. After a few minutes she heard the front door open. Hayden. She quickly got to her feet and walked into the hallway to tell the man his bed was currently occupied by two sleeping children 

“Your bed is currently occupied by the kids” Hayden turned to look at Serena and chuckled quietly.

“I see”

“Film night with their mother” Serena swore Hayden nearly fell on his arse at her words. She had to grasp his good arm to stop him. She chuckled at his reaction “It’s a small step but yeah” Hayden pulled Serena into a one armed hug and buried his head in her shoulder “Hey… it’s okay”

“You are something unbelievable Serena Campbell and I thank god you came into this family’s messed up world to set it right” Hayden pulled away and wiped away a stray tear that had fallen from his eyes. He swallowed the lump in his throat and smiled at Serena. He couldn’t have asked for a better person to help repair the broken bonds of this family. 

“Me, you, the kids and Beatrice need to be prepared for the dam to burst with Bernie” Serena and Hayden headed back into the library slowly as the man hobbled on his crutches.

“I know. It’ll be a torrent when that impenetrable wall finally does fall” Hayden sat down in the first available seat whilst Serena stood at the window that looked out onto a lawned area shrouded in darkness 

“I got a preview tonight. She really wishes it had been her that died that day H” Hayden looked down at the floor. The strain in Serena’s voice almost broke his heart. He knew Bernie had always wished that it had been her rather than Alex but to hear Serena say it… it was utterly devastating.

“Do you really the kids will be able to handle their mother breaking down like that and in such a bad way?” Serena looked at Hayden, her gaze soft and filled with concern. She knew the children could react badly but she also knew that Bernie needed them. 

“I don’t know but I know that she’ll need them when the time does come” Hayden nodded his head and sighed. He ran his good hand through his hair and yawned “Looks like you’ll be in the snug tonight.” 

“I hope she doesn’t wake up needing anything” Hayden pointed to his leg and chuckled. Serena smiled softly and resigned herself to a night in one of the chairs in the living room  
“I’ll be in the living room if she does. The chairs in there are comfortable enough” 

“Isn’t there a recliner in the conservatory?” Hayden said as he recalled seeing a recliner somewhere in the house. 

“Oh so there is” Serena nodded her head in relief. The recliner would be better for her than the chairs in the living room, just about. “I’ll be fine in there. That way you can get some sleep and I’ll still be nearby if she does wake up” 

“Well… I think I’ll hit the hay now” Hayden slowly got to his feet with the help of his crutches and turned to look at Serena giving her a tired smile “I get tired pretty easily at the moment” The tiredness that plagued Hayden was obvious to Serena and she wasn’t surprised given that Hayden used crutches to get around and would for a while

“I can imagine.”

“Goodnight Serena”

“Goodnight H” Hayden gave Serena a soft, tired smile before he slowly hobbled out of the library and toward the snug. Serena sighed softly and rubbed her eyes and the bridge of her nose as her own tiredness caught up with her. It had been an emotionally trying day. She finished off her wine and took the glass with her into the conservatory. She found a spare blanket hidden away in the ottoman and set it down on the recliner before she headed to check on Bernie. 

“Alex… No please… not Alex” Serena furrowed her brow as she heard the distressed murmurings from Bernie “Cammy… My little boy no” Serena rushed over to the troubled blonde as she tossed and turned. She had rarely dealt with night terrors but Serena knew it was best to let them play out and wake the person when the night terror was over “Serena… no.” Serena swallowed the lump in her throat at the sound of her name coming before Bernie’s lips in such a distressed manner “No!” Bernie shot up from the bed covered in a thin sheen of sweat, disorientated and overly anxious

“You’re okay Bernie. It was only a nightmare. Cam and Charlotte are safe” Bernie looked wide eyed at Serena, her breathing heavy and uneven “You’re okay…” Serena’s soft, comforting voice started to calm Bernie down as she lay back down, hissing in pain. Serena turned on the bedside light and flew Bernie a sympathetic look. The dressing on Bernie’s chest was bloodied and her neck wound had seeped a little 

“Serena… I…”

“Ssshh” Serena hushed Bernie softly and stroked the blonde’s sweaty forehead in an attempt to give Bernie some comfort “I need to change your dressings and check you haven’t done any damage” Bernie found herself unable to nod her head due to the pain that radiated from her neck. Serena quickly collected what she needed from the conservatory and in the makeshift bedroom before she tended to Bernie’s wounds. She put on some surgical gloves and then gently peeled the dressing on Bernie’s neck away from the wound and grimaced at the seepage and sight of pulled stitching. Serena gently examined the wound and looked at Bernie for any reaction or signs of pain 

“Hurts” Serena swallowed the lump that formed in her throat when Bernie spoke and nodded her head. 

“I think you need to go back to the hospital” Bernie looked like a deer in headlights when Serena suggested she had to go back into hospital. She couldn’t cope with the idea of being back there, not when she and the children had made progress

“No. No hospital”

“Bernie you could have further damaged your neck or spine” Serena didn’t want to take chances given that Bernie’s spinal fracture still had a long way to go in terms of healing and was at a delicate stage. 

“Serena please…” Serena sighed and held her hands up in surrender. She backed down and looked down at her patient. She disagreed with Bernie’s desire not to go back into hospital but she had to respect the blonde’s wishes.

“I’ll have to call Guy Bernie. If there is any further damage you could risk paralysis” When no objection came from the blonde Serena pulled out her phone and called Guy. She hoped he was still awake and free to come and look at Bernie immediately 

“Guy Self”

“Guy it’s Serena Campbell I need you to come out the Wolfe residence. The Major had… a bit of an accident and pulled her stitching in the neck wound but I’m concerned that she may have caused further damage” Serena watched Bernie out of the corner of her eye and saw the flash of pain as it passed over Bernie’s face. Serena’s concern and fear for the injured medic grew. 

“Bring her here”

“Guy she doesn’t want to. I won’t force her to go back into hospital”

“Serena she needs an x-ray, MRI and head CT. The casing I applied to the spinal fractures is only experimental; I have no idea if it’ll hold up against further trauma” Serena knew that her duty as Bernie’s primary carer outweighed her loyalty and her growing friendship with the blonde. 

“Alright you’ve made your point. I’ll call an ambulance.” Serena saw the frustration as it fell over Bernie’s face. The brunette knew that the blonde was less than pleased about her having to go back into hospital. 

“I’ll call Jac. We’ll meet you at the entrance”

“See you soon” Serena hung up and pushed her phone back into her pocket. There were a few moments of tense silence between the pair before Bernie spoke tersely

“No hospital”

“Bernie the casing Guy encased your fractured C4 and C5 in is only experimental” Bernie sighed and looked at the ceiling. She knew she wouldn’t win this fight because Serena and Guy were right; she needed to be in hospital. “He has no idea if it will hold up against further trauma… I’m only concerned for you Bernie” 

“What about Cam and Charlie?” 

“I’m sure H and Jasmine are more than capable of looking after them and not to mention your mother is due back tomorrow” The nod of Bernie’s head gave Serena the answer she had desperately hoped Bernie would give and so she pulled out her phone again and dialled 999 “This is Serena Campbell, primary carer for Major Berenice Wolfe. I need an ambulance as soon as you can” Serena gave the operator the address and details of Bernie’s wounds and possible further damage “Thank you” Serena hung up and looked at her patient and budding friend “5 minutes.”

“You had better go and wake Hayden up”

“I suppose I had”


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernie is re-admitted into Holby and Serena makes Bernie remember that she wasn't just Alex's lover, she was also a soldier.

Chapter 26  
It wasn’t long after Serena had woken Hayden and told him what had happened that the ambulance arrived at the house. Sam and Ian were the paramedics and Serena gave them both a grateful smile when they entered the house pushing a trolley. 

“Nice to see you again Serena” Ian gave Serena a friendly smile as the brunette guided the duo toward the office/makeshift bedroom. 

“Ian” Serena opened the door to the office and allowed the paramedics in “She’s just through here” Serena stepped inside after Ian and Sam and watched nervously. She knew the pair knew what they were doing but she was concerned for Bernie’s weakened spine and neck. 

“Missing the hospital already are we?” Ian smiled at Bernie as he took her BP and oxygen. Sam had busied herself with setting the trolley up and waited for Ian’s instructions “Let’s get a neck brace on”

“Just Ms Campbell and Mr Self overreacting” Sam nodded and found a neck brace and gently put it on Bernie’s neck

“Well I’m sure they’re only concerned for you” Once Ian was satisfied that everything was in order, he nodded at Sam “Okay very gently move the good Major over to the trolley on the count of three” Ian and Sam made sure they were in a good lifting position and that their postures were correct before they decided to lift Bernie over “One. Two. Three” Bernie grimaced in pain as the paramedics moved her out the trolley “Are you coming with us Serena?”

“I’ll be right behind you” Serena gathered up Bernie’s things that she had packed and threw them over her shoulder. Hayden was stood by the door and gripped Bernie’s hand as the trolley passed him “She’ll be fine” Serena whispered to him in order to reassure him. He smiled and nodded his head as he watched Serena and Bernie headed off back to Holby City.   
When the ambulance arrived at Wyvern Wing Guy and Jac were stood outside waiting with anxious expressions. The ambulance pulled up and Ian and Sam got out of the cab and headed to the back. They threw open the doors and got Bernie out of the back 

“Back again Wolfe?” Jac said as she and Guy approached the Major 

“I missed your charm Naylor” Serena smiled and rolled her eyes at the Major’s sarcasm as she climbed out of the back “I’m fine. She’s just overreacting” 

“Be that as it may Major, Ms Campbell is a doctor and is only looking out for her patient” Jac said as Ian and Sam brought Bernie into the hospital and toward the lift, Serena close behind. It didn’t take them longer before they reached Darwin and Bernie was taken into the side room for privacy 

“I’ve booked you in for a head and neck CT and x-ray as well an MRI” Guy wrote down in Bernie’s notes when they were brought to him “May I ask how this happened?” Bernie locked eyes with Serena and the expression told her not to tell Guy “Well?” 

“It was an accident; I must have been sleeping and tried to turn over” Guy looked at Serena, whose face remained neutral. Jac had checked Bernie’s chest wound and smiled up at Serena softly 

“You haven’t lost your touch Campbell”

“I couldn’t ask for a better nurse” Bernie said softly as Jac closed Bernie’s pj shirt. Jac looked at Serena and raised an eyebrow that was greeted by a glare from the brunette   
“I could ask for a better patient though” Serena sat Bernie’s holdall down and looked down at Bernie with a teasing smile 

“Liar” Serena and Bernie chuckled that earned a look between Jac and Guy. They weren’t blind nor stupid. 

“You won’t need me for this Guy.” Jac said with a smirk as she headed out of the side room. Serena saw the smirk on Jac’s face and shook her head 

“May I examine your neck?” Guy said as his words broke the silence that had accompanied Jac’s departure

“Of course” Guy came around the side of the bed and Serena stepped aside to allow him in to examine Bernie’s neck. She watched intently as Guy examined the angry looking wound. Serena could see the stitches had been pulled and the wound was still seeping 

“It’s not infected but the stitches have been pulled and its seeping blood. We’ll see what the CT and x-ray show” Serena had finished unpacking some of Bernie’s things and had sat down in the chair beside the bed, twisting her hands

“And the MRI?” Guy took the soiled dressing off of Bernie’s neck and disposed of it in the bin for bio-hazard waste 

“Only precautionary to make sure you haven’t given yourself brain damage”

“I didn’t hit my head.”

“I rather not take any chances. I’ll get a nurse to change the stitching and clean the wound” Guy wrote down a few more notes and looked onto the ward to see if he could see any nurses wandering around doing nothing

“I’ll do it Guy.” Serena said looking up at Guy with a soft expression. Guy knew it wasn’t that Serena didn’t trust the nurses on Darwin but that she felt a responsibility toward the Major and her health. 

“Okay” Guy placed the notes back in its end of bed home and looked at Serena “Just don’t mess it up” Serena threw Guy a dirty look as the neurosurgeon turned to leave the side room “Can’t be bothered with the legal suit” Guy chuckled leaving the side room and Bernie and Serena alone. 

“You should let a nurse do it”

“I’m fully trained and very capable with sutures” A few moments later a nurse appeared with a suture kit and a new dressing “Thanks” Serena stood and took the surgical dish from the nurse. She pulled the seat closer to the bed, pulled on some surgical gloves and threaded the needle “When did the night terrors start?” Serena injected the wound with a local anaesthetic and glanced at Bernie. She saw a scared look flash across Bernie’s face 

“After Alex died…” Serena sat back and waited for the anaesthetic to take effect and listened to Bernie “I suppose it was the survivor’s guilt.” Serena sat back forward and used the needle to test whether or not the wound was now numb 

“Can you feel that?”

“No” Serena nodded her head and started to re-stitch the wound “I can’t remember much of what happened just what Hayden and others have told me. I’ve probably repressed the memories” Serena listened as she continued to close the wound “I don’t think I want to remember” 

“Do you remember the terrors?” Serena finished stitching the wound, tied it off and cut the excess suturing thread. 

“No” Serena set the scissors, needle and thread down in the surgical dish “And before you ask no I haven’t considered hypnotherapy nor will I ever consider it” She picked up the saline solution and wetted the gauze

“I wasn’t going to suggest it.” Serena gently dabbed the wound and began to clean away the dried blood “What happened to Alex wasn’t your fault Bernie. She understood the risks like everyone in your unit including you” The brunette finished cleaning the wound and peeled away the backing from the dressing “You risked your life, you’re a hero” She pressed the dressing against the wound and made sure it was secure “There we go” Serena pulled off the surgical gloves and threw them in the surgical dish “And don’t you ever forget that Major Wolfe” Bernie looked up at Serena with tear filled eyes as she realised Serena was right. She had forgotten what being soldier entailed, what the risks were. Love was a weakness in the battlefield, it was pain not pleasure.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Has Bernie caused more damage? Jac and Serena have a chat and Serena makes a startling realisation that could threaten her future as carer to Bernie and her children

Chapter 27

Whilst Bernie was away for her CT and x-ray Serena waited in the side room. She didn’t want to leave the hospital without knowing what the prognosis was. She had text Alan and Jason and had given them updates. She had hoped to get a weekend off to spend time with her nephew but with this incident it looked unlikely depending on if Bernie had made her spinal injury worse 

“You and Major Ice Queen were acting very pally earlier” Serena looked up from her phone at Jac, who had seen the side room was now devoid of Bernie and who had decided to come and question Serena “Is playing nurse getting to you Campbell?”

“I don’t know what you mean”

“Seriously?” Jac crossed her arms over her stomach and raised an eyebrow. Surely Serena knew that she was crushing on her patient?

“I’m helping her recover from major trauma and helping her with her children as well. Shouldn’t we be friends Jac?” 

“The last time you two were on this ward together you were practically arch enemies. What’s changed?”

“She and the kids have begun to repair their broken relationship.” 

“I mean with you two”

“As I said Jac is it wrong that we’re becoming friends?”

“No. No not at all but friends don’t make heart eyes at each other”

“Heart eyes? Don’t be ridiculous”

“I didn’t have you down as having sapphic interests Campbell”

“I don’t! I’m helping the Major recover that’s all. She lost the love of her life and she’s in the process of grieving for goodness’ sake” 

“Okay. Okay sorry” 

“Bernie is in a fragile state of mind Jac” Serena sighed and leaned forward in the chair, her hands joined under her chin. She may as well tell the truth about how Bernie ended up back in Holby “She aggravated her neck wound because she was having a night terror.”

“Ah” Jac nodded her head slowly and looked at Serena, wanting to know more

“She’s been having them since Alex was killed. She doesn’t remember them but in her stubbornness won’t seek help to stop them. She sees them as a form of punishment” 

“For the ambush?” Serena nodded and looked down at the tiled floor. She couldn’t pity Bernie for having these thoughts. The poor woman had lost something so precious that day.

“The missile, her injuries, the night terrors she sees them as her punishment”

“But she wasn’t to blame” Jac shook her head in disbelief. She couldn’t gasp why Bernie would see those things as her punishment when she had no clue what would happen that day

“And deep down she knows that but she has so much anger and unspoken grief that she’s locked that part of her sub-conscious away”

“Didn’t have you down as a psych either” Jac’s quip made Serena chuckle darkly. The brunette looked at the cardio surgeon with a wry smile

“I did an entire semester studying mental illness. I kept up with it after I graduated” For Serena having that knowledge about mental illness had made her think she’d be a more rounded doctor and in a way it had

“So…”

“I’m trying to help her Jac but she doesn’t want to face what happened and I can’t and won’t force her to” Serena had no intention to force Bernie face what had happened because she knew the blonde medic wasn’t ready to relive that awful day. 

“But Serena if it’s stopping her living her life you may have to” Before Serena could say anything further Jac moved aside and Bernie was brought back into the side room followed by Guy

“Well?”

“Clear. No further damage” Serena sighed in relief and silently thanked god for this piece of good luck

“Told you” Bernie’s retort was aimed at Serena, who raised her eyebrow at the blonde in response

“Better to be safe than sorry Major given the seriousness of your injuries” Guy stepped in before Serena had the chance to response in kind and made the brunette bite her cheek

“I know. Sorry” Bernie held her hands in apology. She knew Serena had just been concerned about her and the risk of further injury

“No need to apologize you’re understandably frustrated but your injuries will take time to heal” Bernie sighed and looked at the ceiling tiles at Guy’s words. 

“I’m all too aware of that” Bernie’s dejected tone made Serena well up. It made it sound as Bernie had given up.

“I’d like to keep you overnight just to be sure but you can go home tonight if you wish” 

“Home” Bernie’s tone was filled with finality and determination and Serena nodded her head at Guy. Serena’s nod gave the man the answer

“Okay. I’ll sort an ambulance for you” 

“Thank you Guy” Serena said softly with a grateful smile. The man smiled cautiously and left the room along with Jac, who had cast a glance back at Bernie and Serena. “You can say it you know”

“I told you so” Serena chuckled as she stood and started to gather up Bernie’s things “I know you were just looking out for me” 

“That’s my job” Serena packed Bernie’s clothes away as neatly as she did when she first put them in the bag

“Listen why don’t you take this weekend off? Go and spend some time with your family. I’m sure the nurses will be able to cope without you for a few days” Serena looked down at Bernie with a hopeful look. She had really wanted this weekend and now Bernie was offering her it. 

“Are you sure?” 

“You deserve a break Serena” Bernie knew Serena needed a break from her and the kids and she had more than earned it. Bernie knew she and the kids would be okay for the weekend and that Serena had missed her family very much

“I was hoping to take this weekend off if truth be told. I haven’t been able to see my nephew” Serena said with a grateful smile. 

“Then it’s sorted” Serena the now full holdall down next to the chair and sat back down. She looked over to Bernie and nodded her head in agreement that it was indeed sorted

“I’ll arrange it with the nurse tomorrow morning and set out a shift pattern.” Bernie reached for the controls to the bed and raised the back up so she could sit up and actually be look at Serena when speaking to her

“Okay. Good” 

“Thank you Bernie” Bernie took and squeezed Serena’s hand in response to the brunette’s words of thanks 

“You’ve more than earned it Serena” Serena looked down at their joined hands and swallowed the lump in throat. Oh no… Jac had been right. There was something between her and Bernie. Was it a crush? A case of Nightingale syndrome in reverse? This wasn’t good. Not at all.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Serena heads home for the weekend and Bernie makes an realisation that causes her emotional turmoil and confusion

Chapter 28

By the weekend Serena’s excitement about spending some time with her nephew had become contagious. Bernie had made plans for her and the kids to spend the entire weekend having a Disney marathon with all the popcorn they could eat 

“I’m almost sorry that I wouldn’t be here all weekend” Serena had packed a bag, which was sat in the hallway as she and Bernie sat whilst they waited for the taxi. Serena’s car had decided to give up the ghost and the brunette couldn’t afford another one in her current financial situation so she had to rely on taxis

“Serena you deserve this time with your nephew. Enjoy it” Serena smiled and nodded her head. She knew Bernie was right so she didn’t argue with the blonde

“I hear your mother is coming to join you” Bernie grimaced at the mention of her mother’s visit and shuffled in her chair uncomfortably 

“That should be a hoot” Serena smirked at Bernie’s discomfort and was a little pleased that she wasn’t going to there when Beatrice came over

“She’ll be so pleased to see you and the kids rebuilding your bond” Bernie looked at Serena with hope in her eyes and pleaded silently with the brunette that she was right. She knew her mother wouldn’t be too judgemental on her and that she’d support her 

“H’s tenants are moving out tomorrow so the house will be a Hayden free zone when you get back” Bernie changed the subject so quickly that Serena could have suffered whiplash but the brunette didn’t make a comment

“Oh you love the fact he’s been here” 

“You have me there” Bernie smiled graciously and nodded her head. She had loved having Hayden around. He had been that friendly face that she didn’t know she had needed. Yes Serena had been there for her but Hayden was the only one who had been through everything with her “I’ve missed having him around”

“Now if you need anything just call me” Bernie shook her head exasperated with Serena 

“Serena. Will you stop? The nurses are coming in three times a day and my mother will be here” Serena held up her hands in surrender and looked at Bernie full of apologizes 

“I know. Sorry”

“Don’t apologize” Bernie replied softly and looked at Serena with gentle eyes

“Just worried the kids will tire you out” Serena said quietly, her concern for Bernie’s welfare laced her voice. Bernie picked up the concern in Serena’s voice and looked down at her hands

“I’m sure my mother will make sure that doesn’t happen” 

“You’ve made good progress with them” Bernie smiled loudly. She had made really good progress with them. When she came home they had been so good with her, making sure she was okay and that she hadn’t needed anything. She and Serena had been so proud of them “I don’t think I’ll ever get over seeing Lottie so happy when you helped her with her homework” 

“I had forgotten how the little things made me feel when I was with the kids” Serena smiled and put a hand on Bernie’s arm caressing the skin under her thumb 

“Well you can work on that” Bernie looked down at Serena’s hand as the brunette’s thumb caressed her arm. She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat at the contact. 

“I know” The sound of a horn from the taxi that had just pulled up broke the spell and made Serena pull back and stand. She picked up her bag and took a deep breath “Now go and have a good weekend with your nephew and don’t think about us once okay?”

“Okay I’ll try” Serena headed for the door and looked back as Bernie followed her in her wheelchair

“As long as you’re back here bright and early on Monday morning” 

“Yes Ma’am” Serena playfully saluted Bernie which earned her a smile from the Major. The pair shared a silent gaze before Serena turned on heel and headed for the taxi. Bernie watched as Serena got into the taxi and took a few moments. Bernie knew that she had begun to feel something for Serena but she knew she couldn’t act on those budding feelings. At least not yet. Alex’s death was too raw, too fresh. Bernie had no idea whether or not she’d ever be able to enter into another relationship and right now she couldn’t think about it. Once the taxi was out of sight Bernie closed the door and headed toward her make shift room. She stopped in front of the photo of herself and Alex that was sat on her desk and picked it up 

“Oh Al… I don’t know what to do. I love you. I always will love you but…”

“But you’re beginning to have feelings for Serena” Hayden smiled as he came into the room. Bernie sighed and gripped the frame tightly “There’s no shame in that Bernie”

“H… I feel like I’m betraying Alex”

“Bernie… you’re not. She would want you to be happy” 

“I’m not ready H. I don’t know if I’ll ever be”

“Only you will know when you’re ready but I, for one, think you and Serena would make a beautiful couple” Hayden squeezed Bernie’s shoulder softly before he headed out of the room. Bernie looked at the photo of herself and Alex again and placed it back in its place on her desk. She wasn’t ready. Not yet. 

It wasn’t long before Serena reached her home. She smiled and paid the driver before she stepped out of the taxi. She picked up her bag and headed inside.   
“Jason? I’m home” Serena set her bags down inside in the hallway and took off her coat as sound of footsteps echoed from the kitchen 

“Auntie Serena!” Jason rushed to his auntie and hugged her tightly. She smiled as she hugged him back “You’re earlier than I had expected you to be”

“Oh well I wasn’t needed as long as I thought so the Major told me to get myself home” Serena and Jason headed into the lounge, the brunette glad to be back home with her nephew even if it was just for a few days

“How is Major Wolfe?” Serena smiled at the mention of Bernie and nodded her head. She was pleased with Bernie’s progress and was relieved that the Major hadn’t added to her injuries during her night terror 

“She’s getting there”

“And the children?”

“They’re really good” Serena had noticed that Alan was absent from the house and looked around to see if the man was still living in the house 

“Alan has gone out to get groceries but I was just about to make a cup of tea. Would you like one?”

“Oh that’d be lovely Jason. Thank you” Serena smiled as she watched her nephew head into the kitchen. She looked around her home and found that she had missed the familiar surroundings. The manor house had slowly begun to feel like home but being back in her own home felt so much better 

“Jason! Come and give me a hand with these bags will you?” Serena turned at the sound of Alan’s voice and got up from the sofa to go and give the man a hand “Serena. It’s so good to see you”

“I’ll give you a hand with these” Serena took a couple of bags from Alan as they headed into the kitchen “It’s good to see you too Alan” 

“Did you get my ginger beer Alan?” Jason asked his carer as the man put his bags down on the lino floor

“Yes I did don’t worry Jason” Serena realised what day it was and at the mention of ginger beer knew it was fish and chips night. 

“It’s fish and chips night isn’t it? Jason how about you and Alan make a start on getting these groceries put away whilst I head down to the chip shop?” 

“Will I put your tea in the microwave Auntie Serena?” Serena headed into the hallway and threw her coat on. She made sure her phone and purse were in her coat pocket

“Yes that might be a good idea” Serena called back to Jason as she headed to the door “See you soon”


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Serena enjoys some downtime and a chat with Alan whilst Beatrice makes Bernie realise that Serena won't be in her or the children's lives for much longer

Chapter 29

After the trio of Serena, Jason and Alan had eaten their fish and chips Jason retired to his room to watch re-runs of Countdown whilst Serena and Alan cleared up the papers and dirty dishes 

“So how is everything really?” Serena put the plates away and looked at Alan with a confused gaze

“What do you mean?”

“Well you’re home” Alan put the cutlery away and settled back against the kitchen bench. He watched Serena intently 

“Major Wolfe offered me a weekend off and I took it.” Serena finished putting the dishes away and sat back down at the table

“So you and the Major are getting along better?” Serena smiled and nodded her head. Alan noticed Serena twisting her hands on top of the table but said nothing

“Yes. Yes we are” Alan saw a glint in Serena’s eye that he had never seen before. He smiled inwardly and looked at the floor. Well well well… It seemed they were getting along better than the brunette was letting on

“And how are the kids?”

“They’re really good; they’re getting on better with their mother” Serena sat back in her chair and nodded her head. She really missed the kids even though she had just left them. She thought of them as her own. 

“That’s good. I’m pleased”

“Their grandmother is visiting this weekend so hopefully she won’t unravel the progress they’ve made” Serena chuckled and ran a hand through her hair. She hoped that Beatrice wouldn’t unravel all the hard work that Bernie and the children had started putting in to repairing their broken bond

“You think she’ll do that?”

“I hope not” Serena said softly as she stood from the table. She smiled at Alan cautiously as she walked past him and out of the kitchen. She picked up her bag and headed upstairs to unpack her stuff. Once in her room she checked her mobile phone and found a message from Bernie 

‘The kids wish you were here. Have a good weekend and Mother says hello and thank you. She said you deserve a bonus and I agree with her. See you Monday xx’ 

Serena smiled and shook her head. She wished she was there with the family right now and was pleased that Beatrice was happy with what had been achieved so far between Bernie and the kids. 

Saturday Morning: The Wolfe Household

Bernie had been pleased with the nurses with Serena’s schedule working like clockwork. Her mother had helped them this morning and had been appreciative of the chance.   
“You’re recovering well… when do you start your physiotherapy?” Bernie wheeled herself toward the door of her office/bedroom, her mother followed close behind and toward the door to the living room

“Next week hopefully” Once the pair were in the living room Bernie was more than happy to stay in her wheelchair whilst her mother sat on the sofa “This wheelchair and being bedridden is getting rather tiresome” 

“Don’t rush yourself Bernie” Bernie looked at her mother and raised an eyebrow. Beatrice looked at her daughter with an identical look which gave Bernie pause to look away

“Mum the last time I was injured I recovered in half the time remember. I’ve always been a quick healer” Beatrice recalled the last time her daughter was injured and her injuries weren’t as serious as the ones she sustained in this attack

“I wasn’t just talking about your physical injuries Bernie”

“You mean Alex and my survivor’s guilt?” Bernie whispered in reply, Beatrice’s eyes drawn to the floor

“Yes. Yes I mean that” 

“You still can’t say her damn name can you?” The venom in Bernie’s voice struck Beatrice hard at her unwillingness to mention Alex’s name. Beatrice sighed and looked at her daughter. She reached out and put a hand on her daughter’s arm

“You loved Alex Bernie but her ghost is keeping you from living your life” Bernie glanced down at the hand on her arm then looked away.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know damn well what I mean” Bernie closed her eyes and shook her head. She didn’t know whether she’d ever be able to let someone in and allow herself to love someone else even though Serena had already wormed her away under her skin “Are you hell bent on living the rest of your life alone?” 

“I may never be ready Mum… Alex was the love of my life” 

“I know. I know I’m sorry” 

“I need to concentrate on the kids. They’re my priority” Beatrice knew her daughter was right. Cameron and Charlotte needed to be Bernie’s priority. If Bernie ever did meet someone then it would be a bonus. 

“I’m sorry about what I said that day at the hospital” Bernie looked at her mother, her eyes downcast and clouded over with tears “I am so so proud of you Bernie” 

“I haven’t exactly been the best of daughters or mothers” 

“You’re working on your relationship with the children and as for us… you’ll always be my daughter no matter not” 

“I know that mum and I’m so pleased that the kids and I are beginning to make strides in our relationship” 

“Serena’s been so good for you and the kids”

“Yes” Bernie smiled, her mind drifted to the small touches she and Serena had shared over the last days and how she had been the force behind the reconciliation Bernie and the kids “Yes she has”

“I hope all that hard work won’t fade when she leaves” Bernie hadn’t thought about the fact Serena would leave after she recovered… it hadn’t factored into her mind but now her mother had mentioned it, it had hit Bernie like a freight train 

“I-I had forgotten she’ll be leaving as soon as I’m fully recovered” Bernie couldn’t imagine her home without Serena in it. It wasn’t something she wanted to think about yet. God the kids would miss her so much and Bernie knew that. She also knew that she would miss Serena.

“You’ll be fine Bernie” 

“Yes. Yes I’m sure you’re right” Bernie closed her eyes and turned away from her mother. She had to start and make plans of a life without Serena in it.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Serena returns to the Wolfe Household and opens up about Jason to Bernie with a surprising result.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yesterday (Which did happen. I didn't dream any of it) gave me inspiration in a mega way so there may be another chapter or two on their way today.
> 
> Also don't kill me for this chapter *Hides under a rock*

Chapter 30

The weekend flew by for Serena and when it came to Monday morning she found herself itching to see the children. She and Jason had talked about when she’d be back home and she had told her nephew that it wouldn’t be long now. The reality of leaving the Wolfe household slowly began to settle in Serena’s mind. It would be weeks rather than months and it scared Serena that she’d be soon looking after another person’s child or children and not Bernie’s. She had grown to love those two children as if they were her own and dreaded the day she would leave them.

“Are you alright Auntie Serena?” Serena had finished her packing and was waiting for her taxi in the living room when Jason broke her train of thought

“I’m okay Jason”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m going to miss those kids when I finish my contract”

“I’m sure the Major would be okay with you visiting them”

“I’m sure she will but it won’t be the same”

“You won’t be with them all the time”

“Exactly… oh Jason I fear I’ve grown too attached” Before Jason could give his Auntie his reply the taxi pulled up and Serena sighed. She looked at Jason and hugged him “If you ever want to visit just say so. I’m sure The Major wouldn’t mind” 

“I will Auntie Serena” Serena picked up her luggage and headed outside followed by her nephew. She opened the door and put her bag in the back of the cab before she turned to hug Jason once more “And Auntie Serena I’m sure the children and Major Wolfe feel the same about you leaving” Serena smiled weakly as she left her nephew’s arms and headed down to the taxi

Wolfe Household 

“Yey! Serena is due back today!” Bernie looked at her over excited children with a raised eyebrow as she gingerly stood on her crutches for the first time. 

“Oh so your old mum isn’t good enough for you now?” Cameron and Charlotte stopped jumping around in excitement and looked with beaming smiles at the sight of their mum on her feet “I’m joking” Beatrice and the children watched with baited breathe as Bernie took those first couple of hops

“Oh Bernie…” Beatrice swallowed the lump in her throat and pushed away the tears of joy at seeing her daughter out of the wheelchair 

“Does it not hurt mum?” 

“It does son but I’m not putting any pressure on my leg so I’ll be okay” Bernie hopped over to her kids and smiled “See? I’m okay” She rested against the sideboard and smiled as her children wrapped their arms around her “But just because I can stand and hop around doesn’t mean you both still don’t need to be careful okay?”

“Yes mama” The pair say at the same time. Bernie smiled and kissed the top of her children’s heads one after the other. It was few minutes later when Serena’s taxi pulled up outside the Wolfe house. She paid and thanked the driver before she got out, bag in tow. She took a deep breath and headed inside “Serena!” The two children barrelled into the woman and nearly knocked her off her feet. The woman wrapped her arms around the pair of them 

“Hello you two! Have you missed me?” 

“Yes they have” Bernie hopped out of the library and smiled at the sight of Cameron and Charlotte wrapped around Serena “We all have” Serena looked at Bernie and smiled at the sight of the woman standing on crutches 

“Look at you” Serena untangled herself from the children, the pair each keeping an arm around their nanny. “Up and about I see Major” Bernie smiled and rested against the door-frame 

“Tired of sitting in that bloody chair”

“Of course you were. As long as you aren’t pushing yourself”

“You sound like my mother” 

“I’m sure your mother is only looking out for you”

“Indeed I am. It’s good to see you Serena” the brunette and the children turned toward the front door, Beatrice had just come in from the herb garden that was nestled in the far corner of the front garden

“And you Beatrice. I take it she’s been a pain in the backside?”

“Always”

“I am still here you know!” 

“Oh we know” The two women say almost at the same time that elicited a chuckle from them both 

“Why don’t I take these two little monsters out for dinner? Let Serena settle back in?” Beatrice suggested that earned a smile from the children. The pair turned and looked at their mother with those familiar pleading eyes 

“I don’t see why not”

“Thank you Beatrice” 

“Go and get your shoes and coats” The kids rushed away from Serena’s arms and headed up to their rooms to grab their coats and shoes. Beatrice smiled and followed them upstairs leaving Bernie and Serena alone in the hallway 

“How’s your nephew?” Serena smiled at the mention of Jason. She was so proud of him for being able to stand on his own two feet after everything he had been through with his mother and his own personal demons

“Oh he’s fine; he’s used to me having to be away for periods of time” Serena saw Bernie was struggling to stand upright even with the crutches “Why don’t we move into the living room? I can see you’re struggling to stand Bernie” The Major smiled weakly and nodded her head. Bernie hopped into the living room followed by Serena, who laid her bag under the table by the living room door 

“It still can’t be easy for him” Bernie sat down in the chair and set her crutches aside. She sighed in relief at not being on her feet

“No it isn’t but he copes with Alan there” Serena sat down and watched Bernie as the relief of not being on her feet spread across the Major’s face. She knew that it would take a while for Bernie to adjust to being on the crutches 

“Alan?”

“His carer” Bernie looked at Serena with a raised eyebrow. She wanted to know more “Jason has Asperger’s syndrome”

“Ah”

“He came to me about a year ago… his mother died of cancer” Serena remembered the day she found out about Jason and her sister, the shock of finding out about them. She never had the chance to ask her mother about her sister

“Must have been a shock to you; to lose your sister”

“A sister I had no idea I had” Bernie looked up at Serena with shock on her face. How could Serena not know she had a sister? “My mother died of vascular dementia and when I was going through her belongings I found a birth certificate for a Majorie Haynes” Bernie’s eyes dropped to the floor and swallowed the lump in her throat. She couldn’t imagine how hard that must have been for Serena to find and how many questions it would have thrown up for the woman

“Must have been hard for you to find out that way” 

“It was”

“How did you find out she had died?” Serena smiled ruefully as she remembered the day Robbie came over with the envelope that had Majorie’s death certificate in, grave plot and Jason’s birth certificate. It had been a shock.

“My ex. He was a police officer. He found her death certificate and where she was buried”

“Oh” Bernie knew what it was like to find out someone had died. Alex, her father; it was the worst kind of pain imaginable “He left after Jason came into my life. He didn’t want the extra responsibility of having to care for a child with Asperger’s”

“Bastard”

“Indeed”

“How old is Jason?”

“Sixteen”

“Now I see why you need someone else to help you out”

“It isn’t that I don’t trust him on his own it’s just I know he’ll struggle”

“Better to have him in a safe, comfortable environment then in an unfamiliar position” 

“Exactly”

“How do you think he’ll cope if I say you can invite him for dinner one evening?”

“What?”

“He’s important to you and I know you miss him so invite him over one evening”

“You-You wouldn’t mind?”

“Serena I suggested it of course I wouldn’t mind” Serena stood and crossed to where Bernie was sat, knelt down and wrapped her arms around the blonde pulling her into a hug  


“Thank you” Bernie was taken aback by the sudden show of affection from Serena and cautiously returned the gesture. Bernie smelt Serena’ perfume and breathed it in, her nose close to nuzzling Serena’s neck. Serena felt Bernie’s breathe on her neck and the slight nuzzle of Bernie’s nose on her skin. She pulled back a little but found herself unable to pull away anymore. Bernie swallowed the lump in her throat as she became aware of Serena’s close proximity, her eyes drifted down to the brunette’s lips. There was an unstoppable pull between them as they leaned in. Their lips were a breath apart, almost touching 

“I’ll bring them back in…” The pair sprang apart at the sound of Beatrice’s voice in the doorway. Serena quickly stood and excused herself, her feet moved as quickly as they would carry her. Beatrice looked at her daughter with wide eyes as she realised what she had just interrupted. She smiled at her daughter and cocked an eyebrow “Sorry for the interruption”

“Mum…”

“I think your heart doesn’t want to listen to your head Bernie. Your heart thinks you’re ready and for what it’s worth I think Serena is an amazing woman” Beatrice walked over to her daughter and kissed her on the head. She straightened up and caressed Bernie’s hair “You two would make a beautiful couple” Bernie looked up at her mother and allowed tears to fall. Beatrice wrapped an arm around Bernie and pulled her into a one armed embrace. Bernie knew her mother was right. Her heart pounded in her chest, it was telling her she was ready but she had no right to listen to her heart unless she got her head sorted first. She couldn’t, wouldn’t burden Serena with the ghosts she carried around it wouldn’t be fair. She needed to be worthy of Serena before anything could happen between them and that meant putting Alex and the events of that fateful, tragic day to rest.


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 4 weeks later and Bernie is back on her feet. She has a plan to lay the ghosts that follow her to rest but has she gone too far in telling Serena her intentions and why she is planning to go back to Afghanistan?

Chapter 31  
Four weeks later

With Serena and the kids along with Evie, Mikey and Theo out for the evening to the cinema Bernie had been left alone for her physio session. She had made remarkable, almost superhuman like progress and she hoped today was the day she would be able to walk without any aids at all 

“If you think you’re ready to walk unaided then show me you can Major” Bernie looked at her physio Kate, who had worked with injured service men and women for years, and nodded her head. She watched as Kate walked to the other end of the conservatory before she stood stock still “Ready?” Bernie nodded and took a deep breath before she stood up, her legs shaking under her. She had to grip the arms of the chair for a few moments before she took her first step “That’s it Bernie. One step at time” Bernie concentrated hard on just keeping her feet moving. She looked up briefly to see she was about four to five steps away from Kate who wore a bright, proud smile. “Just a few more steps Bernie” The blonde took a deep breath and did those final steps without any problems “You’ve done it!”

“I did it” Bernie breathed out in relief and happiness. She didn’t believe she had been capable of recovering so quickly when she first suffered the injuries but now… it was different. She needed to get better and she was. Bernie chuckled and hugged Kate “Thank you”

“Me? It wasn’t me it was all you and your superhuman like recovery ability” 

“I’ve always been a quick healer”

“You’re not kidding but you still have some restrictions okay”

“Yes I know. No strenuous activity for the next two to three weeks and that includes running, lifting etcetera”

“And rest up regularly. Don’t overdo it”

“I’m sure Ms Campbell, my kids, my staff, Captain Harris and my mother will make sure I don’t”

“I’m sure they will” Bernie and Serena hadn’t spoken about their nearly kiss. Bernie knew she had to allow herself to move on fully before she could risk her heart again and the only way she could do that was to go back to Afghanistan, back to the village where her life crumbled however her first stop was Alex’s grave in Holby Remembrance Cemetery. She didn’t remember much of the funeral. She remembered that Hayden had supported her throughout the day and the reading she did ‘Remember Me’ by Margaret Mead. One of Alex’s favourite poems because it had brought the woman comfort every time they lost someone and to Bernie it was the only poem she could have read out. 

“Are you alright Bernie?” Kate’s voice broke Bernie’s train of thought and the blonde gave her physio a sad smile 

“Yes sorry; just memories”

“Good or bad?”

“Bad. Just remembering the day we buried a good friend and colleague of mine… well what I can remember of it” 

“Oh. Sorry for your loss”

“Thank you”

“Anyway I better go. I’ll come over on Friday for one last session and then I think that’s you”

“Thanks again Kate”

“Just be careful and don’t overdo it”

“Yes ma’am” Bernie saluted her physio playfully and walked Kate out. Just as Kate got into her car she saw Serena’s car coming up the driveway. Bernie was relieved Serena had gotten her car back; the taxi fares were ridiculous. She waved Kate off and waited as Serena’s car pulled up to the garage. 

“Mum you’re standing on your own!” Cameron called out as he got out of the car. He rushed up to his mum and carefully wrapped his arms around her cautious of her falling

“Yes I am but I’m still a little fragile” Everyone piled out of the car and Serena smiled softly at the sight of Bernie standing without any aids. She had been shaken by the near kiss four weeks ago but she hadn’t let it impede her responsibilities to both Bernie and the children 

“You’re looking well Major” Evie says as she shuffled past Bernie and Cameron with Theo in her arms. Bernie turned and looked at the three Fletchlings and swallowed the lump in her throat. 

“Evie, Mikey I know I’ve been… difficult since Alex died and I am so sorry for how I’ve treated you and your siblings. I know it’s going to take time but I hope that we can close again. All of us” 

“I miss my godmother. We all miss her” Serena had had no idea Bernie was the Fletcher children’s godmother. She knew they had been close before Alex died but had no idea that Fletch had given the honour of godmother to Bernie. 

“I know and I promise you you’ll have her back” The pair nodded and headed through the house, little Theo content in his big sister’s arms. Cameron pulled away which gave his sister her chance to get a hug from their mother “Okay you two. Wash up then consoles. If you’re really good I’ll see if I can make it upstairs to read you a story” The two siblings cheered and rushed inside to get washed and dressed for bed. Bernie watched the pair as they rushed upstairs, a soft, sad smile pulled at her mouth 

“How does it feel to be able to walk without aids?” Serena came and stood next to Bernie, who turned to look at brunette 

“Brilliant and before you begin to lecture me I know I still need to take it easy. Kate has practically drummed that into me” 

“You still need to go for a check up on your heart and neck though. Your leg is just the first part in a long recovery”

“I know and I hope I get clearance so I can travel”

“Travel? To where?”

“Yes I’m getting better physically but I need to start making progress on my mental health. If I’m going to be the mother that Cam and Lottie deserve, the godmother those young Fletchlings want and… I need to lay Alex to rest and that would mean going back”

“Back? To Afghanistan? Bernie…”

“Serena I need to do this. For me, for the kids, for you”

“Bernie…”

“I know we haven’t spoken about what happened and I know we can’t until I am willing to accept certain things” 

“What happened was… I was emotional and it shouldn’t have happened”

“Don’t. Don’t you dare use that cop out” 

“It isn’t a cop out, it’s the truth” 

“Okay. Okay whatever you say Ms Campbell” 

"Bernie..."

“Don’t” Bernie slowly walked back into the house with a slight limp and retreated to her room. She rested against the closed door and sighed. The only other time she had let someone get a foot in the door to her heart bar Alex and it ended in heartache as always. Who had she been kidding? She retreated to her bed and lay down. She grimaced as her leg protested with a dull ache. She turned her head and looked at the photo of herself and Alex on her desk and sighed. No more. No more letting people in. 

Serena couldn’t move from her spot on the doorstep. What had she done? Why had she been a coward? Bernie was practically saying that there could be something between them once she had laid Alex to rest and she had just thrown it back in her face. Serena wasn’t stupid she knew she had feelings for Bernie, she had known for weeks but she was leaving soon and couldn’t risk everything knowing it wouldn’t last. 

“Are you alright Serena?” Serena jumped at the sound of Raf’s voice and turned to look at the Scotsman. He looked at her with a concerned gaze “You look a little pale”

“I’m-I’m fine Raf”

“Okay… but if you need to talk you know where to find me” Serena nodded as she headed into the house. She stopped for a few moments and looked at the door to Bernie’s study. She was pulled towards it but then back tracked and headed upstairs to make sure the children were doing that they told. Raf saw Serena as she had drifted towards the study before she quickly headed upstairs and the penny dropped. Hayden had told him he suspected there was something brewing between Bernie and Serena but he didn’t believe him until now. This was a turn up for the books but a welcome one. However it appeared to him that one or the other had decided to keep it professional and his money was on Bernie but he had been wrong before. 

About an hour and half later Bernie was stood at the bottom of the stairs as she steeled herself. She took the first step and grimaced as the ache throbbed in her leg. She knew she had to push through barrier and took the stairs one step at a time. By the time she was half way up her leg was throbbing through lack of use. She had to stop and take a few seconds

“Bernie” Serena had come out of the kids’ bedroom and had stopped at the top of the stairs for a few moments when she spotted Bernie before she rushed down them to give the blonde a hand “You should have called for me I would have helped you” Bernie didn’t say anything as Serena wrapped an arm around her and began to help her up the stairs 

“I'm fine. I just needed a few moments” Bernie tried to ignore warmth of Serena’s arm wrapped around her as they slowly headed upstairs one step at a time

“You’re overdoing it too soon”

“Is that your professional opinion doctor?” Bernie knew she shouldn’t have snapped at Serena the moment she spoke but swallowed the apology 

“I thought we were friends?” Serena asked quietly as she hoped that she and Bernie still had a friendship

“Just help me upstairs will you?” Bernie murmured as the pair walked up the rest of the stairs in a tense silence. Once they reached the top Bernie broke the embrace and slowly limped toward the children’s room. Serena closed her eyes and headed downstairs and into the kitchen. She knew Jasmine was out with Jac for the evening so she opened the chilled wine rack and took out a decent shiraz. She reached for a glass before she closed the door to the wine rack and sat down at the table. She uncorked the bottle and poured herself a generous glass. She brought the glass up to her lips and drunk nearly half the glass in one go. This was what she needed right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/remember-me-169/
> 
> Here's the poem that Bernie read out at Alex's funeral


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Serena and Raf have a chat, Raf over steps the boundary and Bernie and Serena give in to what they're feeling as Bernie's walls finally come down

Chapter 32

Once Bernie had read the children a story she tucked them into bed and headed into her bedroom. She would be glad to be out of that damn hospital bed and back to sinking into her 600 thread Egyptian cotton sheets. She opened her bedside table and pulled out an cheap mobile phone and hit one on her speed dial 

“Hey it’s me” Bernie smirked and shook her head at the voice on the other end of the phone “Yes I survived contrary to reports”

“I take it you’re calling to cash in that favour” The man on the other line had his feet up on a desk, his face reflected in the computer screen 

“I’m going to need safe passage into Afghanistan and back to… well you know where” Bernie sat down on her bed and caressed the knee of her aching leg 

“It won’t be easy but I’ll arrange it”

“Cheers and I would appreciate if you didn’t H about this” The man nodded his head, even though Bernie couldn’t see him, and rubbed his chin strap beard. The man was an old colleague and friend of Bernie and part of her platoon that day when she lost Alex

“My lips are sealed” 

“Thanks Xav” Xavier Duval had been a Private the day the platoon came under fire; he was shot in the knee cap which meant he couldn’t return to active service. However with Xavier also being a trained pilot it meant he could fly his own plane and had turned his hand to air haulage as well as a few long haul flights to places where there were very few commercial flights such as Afghanistan

“It’s good to hear from you Major” 

“Speak soon Duval” Bernie hung up and sighed. This was it. The start of letting Alex go for good. She only hoped that her next scans on her heart and neck would clear her for travel but either way she was going. 

Down in the kitchen Serena had gotten through her first bottle without much fuss. She was tipsy but not drunk and had reached for a second bottle when Raf came down into the kitchen thinking of the same thing 

“Started without me?” Raf says angling his head toward the empty bottle on the kitchen table “Can’t be that bad”

“Oh it can” Serena pulled out a second bottle of shiraz and grabbed a second glass “Joining me?” Raf nodded his head and sat down at the table 

“What’s bothering you?”

“Feelings”

“For Bernie?” Serena looked up at Raf as she finished pouring the wine, her surprise obvious “Hayden told me he suspected something and then earlier when you came in from being out with the kids I saw you go towards the study before retreating hastily upstairs”

“We nearly kissed a few weeks ago” Serena sipped her wine, the memory of being so close to Bernie clouded by the disappointment on Bernie’s face earlier

“Nearly?” Raf nursed his wine before taking the first sip

“Beatrice came in and I bolted” Serena chuckled and downed the rest of her glass before she began to pour another 

“Serena for Bernie this is… a big step” Serena looked up at Raf and nodded her head. She knew all of this. She knew that if Bernie truly did have feelings for her then it was a huge leap forward for the blonde “For her to have feelings for you it’s massive”

“I pushed her away”

“That’s understandable Serena. She’s still grieving and you’ve been a massive support to her so she might be transferring the feelings she has for Alex onto you” Serena had thought about the idea that Bernie was going through a stage of transference but after the look on the blonde’s face before she suddenly wasn’t so sure

“That’s what I thought but now I’m not so sure” 

“Look here’s what I think if you believe that the feelings Bernie has for you could be a result of transference then you were right to push her away but if not then I say go for it” Raf took a large gulp of his wine, his gaze drawn to the kitchen table “I want her to be happy; we all want her to be happy”

“She… She’s planning a trip” Raf nearly spit out his wine when he heard what Serena had heard. Bernie couldn’t travel. She needed to be cleared first 

“Trip? Where?”

“Afghanistan” Raf went deathly pale, he lifted his gaze from the table and looked at Serena as if death had come knocking on the door to collect 

“You have to talk her out of it”

“She won’t listen to me Raf. Not Now”

“The children won’t survive their mother going away again”

“It’s her choice Raf we have to respect that”

“Respect her choice? She’s going into a warzone. That village could still be under Taliban control and she could be killed”

“I will do whatever I feel is necessary to move on with my life” Serena closed her eyes at the sound of the cool, collected voice of Bernie that filled the kitchen. She daren’t have looked Bernie’s way scared of what she would find in the Major’s face “I don’t have to run my life choices by you Raf”

“This isn’t about life choices Bernie this about being a complete moron!” 

“Raf leave it” 

“No Serena I won’t leave it” Raf looked at Bernie and shook his head. Maybe it was time that Bernie learnt some home truths no matter how much they would hurt her “Going back to that village won’t give you peace Bernie and you damn well know that. Have you considered that it may unbox those repressed memories? The memories of Alex falling to the desert floor with a hole in her head!” Serena saw the tears fall from Bernie’s eyes and straightened up on the stool

“Raf stop!” Serena stood and her cold, harsh tone echoed in Raf’s ears. He turned his gaze upward and saw the tears as they fell from Bernie’s eyes. Serena went over to Bernie and put her hands on Bernie’s forearms for comfort 

“Bernie I… I” 

“Get out of my sight” Bernie murmured as she took comfort from Serena’s warm hands on her forearms. Raf didn’t know how quickly to leave the room and darted upstairs. Once Raf was out of Bernie’s sight she started hyper-ventilating 

“Sshh it’s okay Bernie… it’s okay” Bernie tried to take deep breaths but she struggled to regain her composure. Serena didn’t take her hands off Bernie’s forearms as she tried to calm her down “Bernie look at me” Serena moved her hands up and grasped Bernie’s biceps tightly. When Bernie didn’t meet her gaze Serena tried a different tactic “Major look at me!” The authority in Serena’s voice was what made Bernie snap to attention, her gaze met Serena’s “Deep breaths” Bernie took several deep breaths as she felt her heart rate drop and her breathing even out, her gaze now dropped back to the stone floor of the kitchen. Serena nodded her head and sighed in relief “That’s it” Bernie grasped Serena’s elbows as she regained her composure; her legs felt like they’d give away at any moment and she knew that would be the worst thing as she risked fracturing her porcelain like leg “I’ve got you” Serena unintentionally tightened her grip on Bernie’s biceps as she held her up which drew Bernie’s gaze up from the floor. The eye content made Serena’s heart skip a few beats before she felt soft lips on hers. Bernie was kissing her. After a few seconds she felt Bernie pull away and Serena looked at the blonde, her own breathing now ragged. She could see the trepidation in Bernie’s eyes she moved to quell it as she pulled Bernie into a passion filled kiss; her hands moved up and cupped the blonde’s cheeks. Bernie’s hands dropped from Serena’s elbows to her hips and she pulled the brunette closer. Serena had kissed women before, she had had sex with women before but this; this was like a bolt from the blue. It had never felt like with Sian or Fleur; it had never felt so… so right. 

“Christ…” Bernie breathed as she broke the kiss; her breathing ragged, cheeks flushed 

“Indeed” Serena dropped her hands away from Bernie’s cheeks and settled them on the Major’s upper arms “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have dismissed you so readily before” 

“No. No you were right to” Bernie swallowed the lump in her throat and pecked Serena’s lips lightly before she continued to speak “I get why you did. You’re terrified that I’m transferring the feelings I have-had for Alex onto you” The correction didn’t go un-noticed by Serena and the brunette smiled softly

“It’s okay to say have” Bernie felt ashamed that her feelings for Alex still showed when she was in the arms of another woman. “Bernie I’m not expecting you to suddenly stop loving Alex. She was the love of your life and it would be selfish and unkind of me to want you to suddenly just see me”

“I do just see you…” Bernie said so softly that Serena almost missed it “I’ve seen you since the day we met but the regret, the anger and pain will continue to be my constant companions unless I lay Alex to rest that’s why I have to go back” 

“Even though it may do more harm than good?”

“I’ve always thought it was my fault. That I was the one responsible for what happened to Alex; that I let her down” Serena shook her head but said nothing knowing it was important for Bernie to talk about what happened “I can’t remember much of what happened as you know but what I do remember makes me think I’m not worthy of the military cross I was given” Bernie left the safe embrace of Serena’s arms and walked over to the kitchen table where she rested, back against the edge

“Bernie…” Serena had turned to look at Bernie and furrowed her brow. How could Bernie not know how much of a hero she was? She faced certain death and came out on top. 

“I remember Alex going down and picking myself up off the floor” Bernie sighed and ran a hand through her unruly hair before she spoke again “I remember running to safety” Bernie scoffed and shook her head in shame “I remember being a coward” 

“That’s not how Hayden tells it” Bernie looked up at Serena at the mention of Hayden’s name. Bernie had almost forgotten in that moment that Hayden had been there. He had seen what happened “He told me that you got up, barely able to stand and you gathered the troops and civilians huddled around your platoon. There were insurgents all around you and he said you picked up a gun and started shooting” Bernie swallowed the lump in her throat, her hands now gripping the edge of the table, her knuckles turned white with pressure. Hayden had never told her the full story in fear of forcing the memories that she had pushed down and locked away to the surface “Once there was enough of a chance to save everyone you guided everyone out of the village whilst the soldiers that brought up the rear finished the insurgents off. You managed to walk about a mile before you collapsed but Hayden patched you up before the helicopter found you and took you back to the field hospital” Serena saw the tears that had gathered in Bernie’s eyes. She couldn’t believe no one had ever told her what happened. She knew it was for fear of Bernie’s mind but didn’t the blonde deserve to know the truth? 

“Then I woke up and remembered Alex was dead” Bernie sniffled as a singular tear escaped her eyes. Serena moved forward and put her hands on Bernie’s cheeks. She stroked the tear away and caressed the skin under her thumb pads

“She saved your life” Bernie closed her eyes that allowed more tears to escape from her eyes. To hear those words again from Serena broke the dam that had been holding back the tidal wave of grief Bernie had been holding back “Hayden said the bullet was meant for you but Alex pushed you out of the way” Serena pulled Bernie into her arms as the dam finally broke. The medic wrapped her arms firmly around Serena and wept into the brunette’s shoulder. Serena held Bernie close and pressed soft kisses into her hair over and over as the woman wept “It’s okay Bernie just let it all out”


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernie and Serena talk more about the Major's decision to go back to Afghanistan and the pair become closer than ever. 
> 
> *FLUFF*

Chapter 33

An hour later Bernie and Serena were sat in the living room with a glass of malt whiskey and a glass of shiraz. Serena was sat on the sofa whilst Bernie occupied the arm chair. Once Serena had managed to calm Bernie down they moved from the kitchen to the living room so Bernie could rest her leg. The blonde downed her shot of whiskey and set the glass down on the coffee table, her eyes still red from crying. 

“I don’t support your decision to go back to Afghanistan but if it means you can lay the ghosts of the past to rest then who am I to stop you?” Bernie looked over at Serena and smiled softly. Deep down she knew Serena would understand she only hoped the kids would as well. 

“The kids… they’ll hate me”

“No they won’t” Bernie raised an eyebrow and Serena and shook her head. Serena sighed and sat forward, taking one of Bernie’s hands in one of her own “They’ll be upset you’re going away again but if you help them understand they’ll be fine with it” Bernie looked down at their joined hands and smiled softly again as she brought Serena’s hand up to her lips kissing the back of it 

“How did my family get so lucky with you?” Bernie lifted her gaze to meet Serena’s and smiled shyly, her thumb now caressed the back of Serena’s hand gently 

“I don’t know…” Serena moved to the edge of the sofa and slid to the floor so she was kneeling front of Bernie “Fate?” Bernie smiled and lifted her free hand to Serena’s cheek, caressing it with her thumb every so softly.

“I can’t give you what you want. Not yet anyway” Serena smiled understandingly and nodded lightly. She brought her free up and wrapped it around Bernie’s wrist holding the medic’s hand in place “Will you wait for me?”

“Do you really need to ask?” Bernie shook her head because she already knew the answer. Serena would wait for her. She saw it in the brunette’s eyes and, for once, it didn’t make her nervous or give her the desire to bolt. Bernie gave in to the want to kiss Serena again and pressed her lips softly against the brunette’s. Serena’s hand slipped away from Bernie’s wrist and is brought around to the back of Bernie’s neck to cup it softly. Bernie broke the kiss once air became an issue and rested her forehead against Serena’s 

“Will-will you lay with me tonight? Just to sleep”

“I-Are you sure? What about the kids?”

“I’m sure and I’m sure the kids know not to come into my rooms before knocking”

“Then yes I would very much like to lay with you” Bernie smiled loudly and kissed Serena once again before she slowly pulled away and stood up from the armchair. She smiled as Serena stood with her, their dirty glass all but forgotten. She guided them to the stairs and allowed Serena to help her up the flights of stairs to the third floor. Serena had guessed right about Bernie’s rooms been on third floor. She had never broken her word to Bernie on the staying away from the third floor so she was anxious. 

“This is my space away from the busyness of the house” The entire floor-space was open plan living with the bed at the far end of the room with a small dressing room and shower room. There were soft furnishings including a two seater sofa, book cases, a television and a mini gym all on the one floor. 

“It’s stunning” 

“After the divorce I had the entire house remodelled and created my very own ‘man’ cave as it were” 

“Somewhere you could mourn” Serena said quietly as she looked around the room. She envisioned Bernie sat in the window curled into herself crying as she wept for her lost love. 

“Yes” Bernie shuffled her feet uncomfortably as the memories surfaced of drinking herself into a stupor came to the forefront of her mind. Most nights she had gone through a bottle of whiskey in one sitting to dull the pain she felt 

“You can create new memories in time” Bernie turned her head and looked at Serena; a soft smile graced her lips. She nodded her head and leaned in pecking Serena on the lips 

“Starting now” Bernie pulled Serena toward the bed. She sat down and reached down to try and take off her boots but found herself unable to bend over very far. Serena smiled softly as she knelt down and helped Bernie remove her boots putting them next to the bedside table “Sorry…”

“Bernie you’ve been seriously injured it’s nothing to be ashamed of” Serena looked up at Bernie, her hands on her knees caressing them softly with her thumbs through Bernie’s jeans 

“Marcus made me feel ashamed about getting injured” Serena furrowed her brows and stood from the floor. How could Marcus make Bernie feel ashamed of serving her country “When I came home from getting shot up during the ambush I couldn’t walk and a stray bullet had grazed my left flank so I was unable to dress myself from the waist downwards so it was left to Marcus to take care of me” Serena left a hand on Bernie’s knee as a source of comfort as she listened to Bernie “He made me feel so weak, so ashamed of being a soldier” 

“He felt emasculated” 

“Yes”

“Bernie you are a hero and you should never ever be ashamed of that” Bernie sobbed at Serena’s words and the brunette wrapped her arms around the blonde. Bernie wrapped her arms around Serena and sobbed into her neck “You are the bravest person I know Bernie”

“I don’t feel brave” Bernie pulled away and kissed the top of Serena’s head over and over to draw comfort “I don’t feel like a hero” 

“Do you believe going back to the place where you stopped believing you’re a hero will help you find that belief within you again? 

“Going back to Afghanistan is about me moving on, about letting Alex go, about being able love- to love you like you deserve” Serena smiled and leaned up to kiss Bernie tenderly. Bernie rested her forehead against Serena’s and pulled the brunette up from the floor “Come to bed?” Serena pecked Bernie’s lips and slipped away from the blonde before she rounded the bed. Bernie smiled and laid back against the duvet. She grimaced a little, her leg had a dull ache but it was manageable. The blonde felt the bed dip beside her as Serena lay down. Bernie turned her head to look at Serena and smiled softly, her eyes closed as Serena’s hand came up to rest on her cheek. Bernie felt Serena’s fingers in her hair as the brunette began to toy with the end of her blonde locks “Hmm that feels nice” 

“Didn’t think you’d like your hair being played with”

“Neither did I” After a few minutes Serena realised that Bernie had nodded off under her gentle playing of her hair. She smiled at Bernie and saw that there was nothing on Bernie’s face. No anguish, no scowl; she looked at peace. 

“I never dreamt I’d find someone like you Major” Serena spoke quietly to the sleeping soldier knowing that she couldn’t hear her but there was some things that needed saying “I know we didn’t hit it off immediately and I know we still have so much to discover about each other and I know under that hard, military exterior there is a beautiful, funny, strong, loving woman who I look forward to getting to know. I will wait for you Bernie” Serena buried her face in Bernie’s neck and closed her eyes to sleep. Bernie peaked one eye open and smiled. She had heard what Serena had said and felt a weight lift from her chest. Serena would wait for her. She wrapped an arm around the brunette and held her close as she drifted back into slumber with Serena in her arms.


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the morning after the night before and Bernie and Serena spend the morning in bed talking about them and their future.

Chapter 34

The next morning Bernie woke with Serena wrapped around her. She smiled and breathed Serena’s scent. Apple and spice. Bernie hummed in contentment as she pressed her lips to the top of the brunette’s head over and over

“Didn’t think you’d be so affectionate Major” Serena murmured sleepily. She nuzzled Bernie’s neck and looked up at the blonde with so much affection. Bernie smiled softly and kissed the brunette gently 

“Are you complaining?” Bernie whispered against Serena’s lips before she dragged her lips down to Serena’s jaw; pressing soft kisses under the brunette’s jawline 

“No” Serena dropped her head back against the pillow; her neck exposed to Bernie and her mouth “Definitely not complaining” The Major smiled against Serena’s skin as she moved her lips down across the brunette’s neck. Serena moaned as Bernie’s lips found a sensitive spot just below her pulse point. The moan went straight through Bernie and aroused the soldier. She pulled away, her breathing heavy and her eyes dilated. Serena looked up at Bernie, cupped the soldier’s cheek and stroked it softly with the pad of her thumb “Beautiful” Bernie flushed with embarrassment at Serena’s compliment but quickly re-gained her composure

“Yes you are” 

“As much as I am enjoying this we need to get up and see to the kids” Serena sighed softly and nodded her head. She leant up and kissed Bernie as the blonde sat up and grimaced as her leg seized up “Shit…” Serena sat up and moved down the bed a little. She threw back the covers and looked up at her partner 

“Do you want me to help you flex it?” Bernie nodded her head and Serena shuffled down the bed. She perched on the edge and sat back on her feet “You’ll need clearance before you fly Bernie and right now you won’t get it” 

“I know I won’t” Serena placed Bernie’s foot flat on the bed and looked up when she heard Bernie hiss in pain

“Sorry honey”

“It’s okay” Serena lifted Bernie’s foot and held in her hand as she gently flexed the knee back and forward. She hoped it would alleviate some of the pain and stiffness that had set in overnight 

“How’s that feeling?” 

“Better” Serena set Bernie’s leg back down onto the bed and gently began to massage the tense lower leg muscles. Bernie sighed in contentment as she felt the knots and tense muscles ease under Serena’s ministrations “Keep that up and I won’t let you out of this bed”

“As tempting as that is, and believe me it’s ever so tempting” Bernie smirked at Serena, whose eyes swam with desire and want to stay in bed with Bernie all day. “We have two small people to feed, water and get to school and then I have to help Jasmine with dinner this evening as Jason is coming over with Alan” Bernie smiled loudly as she knew this would be an opportunity to get to know Serena’s nephew. 

“Oh that’s great news” It was important to Bernie that she got to know Jason if she and Serena were to be in a relationship. She didn’t want to let Serena down as her copper ex had and decide that having an autistic member of the family was too much to handle. “I’m sure my mother would love to take the kids for the evening” 

“She already is” Bernie raised an eyebrow at Serena’s efficiency, her leg now free of the stiffness and soreness thanks to Serena’s talented hands “Are you sure you’re okay with Jason coming for dinner?” Bernie sat up a little more and took one of Serena’s hands as she pulled the brunette toward her minding her leg 

“Serena Jason is your nephew and if we’re to be in a relationship then it’s only fair I meet him” Serena nodded her head and shuffled back toward Bernie. Bernie saw the apprehension written all over Serena’s face and squeezed her hand in comfort “He’s your family” Serena torn her eyes from their con-joined hands and looked at Bernie. She saw nothing but sincerity and a genuine desire in Bernie’s face. Bernie wasn’t scared by the prospect of an autistic teenager being in her home and Serena felt a rush of affection for the woman that sat in front of her 

“You’re unbelievable Berenice Griselda Wolfe” Bernie smiled at the affectionate use of her full name and leant in kissing Serena firmly yet softly. 

“I’m just a prospective partner who wants to meet the young man that is so important to you” Serena rested against Bernie, who was more than content just to hold the brunette in her arms 

“Hardly prospective Bernie” Serena said with a bubble of laughter, Bernie’s arms tightened around her as the blonde soldier nuzzled the top of her head and chuckled into her hair

“You know what I mean it’s just…”

“You need to say goodbye to Alex and I get that” Serena turned her head up and she looked at Bernie with a cheeky glint her eyes “But if you think you can kiss and tease me like you’ve done this morning and bin me off then you’re sadly mistaken Major” Bernie looked down at Serena and she cupped the brunette’s cheek before she spoke, her tone serious

“I wouldn’t dream of it Serena. Not for a single moment” Serena kissed Bernie deeply, her hand cupped the back of her partner’s head. She heard a soft moan leave the soldier’s lips and it caused her to deepen the kiss momentarily before she pulled away, breathless “Where did you learn to kiss like that?” Serena chuckled deeply and pecked her partner’s lips again

“There was a girl in Stepney during university” 

“Was there?” 

“Yep she and Sian were my first dalliances with women” Bernie raised an eyebrow, a mischievous glint in the blonde’s eye eager for Serena to tell her more “A mind-blowing threesome” Bernie licked her lips at the idea of Serena and two other women having amazing sex. What she would have given to be a fly on the wall that night? Serena saw Bernie lick her lips and smirked “Don’t get any ideas Wolfe”

“As much as the thought of you having sex with two women is utterly arousing I don’t think I want to share you with anyone” Serena smiled and hid her face in Bernie’s neck. She pressed a soft kiss to her partner’s neck and sighed contently. Bernie held Serena and breathed in her scent. She never dreamt she’d find someone who could make her feel like this again. After Alex she thought she’d never fall in love again and now Serena had barged through the walls she had built and gotten under her skin. 

“We have to get up” Bernie sighed and kissed Serena’s head. She felt Serena leave her arms and stand from the bed. She looked up and smiled when she saw Serena’s outstretched hands; she took them and slowly got to her feet careful of her weakened leg “I need to go and get showered and dressed. Will you be okay or do you need some help?” 

“I should be okay” Bernie pecked Serena’s lips and smiled softly “I’ll meet you downstairs”

“Okay. Just be careful” Serena headed toward the door of the room and smiled. Bernie gripped the bedframe to steady herself which nearly made Serena rush over to her to help her

“I will” Bernie stood tall and Serena smiled at how quickly Bernie recovered. She opened the door and left the room. She bit her lip and smiled loudly. She headed down to her room, the stupid grin never left her face.


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernie and Serena wake up together for the first time, Bernie tells the children about the trip and Hayden adds his gun to the trip back to Afghanistan

Chapter 35

About half an hour later Bernie hobbled downstairs, her grip tight on the banister as she gingerly took the stairs one step at a time. She was greeted by Serena leaving her room, freshly showered and into some clean clothes 

“Ready to wake the little horrors up?” Serena asked the blonde as she helped her down the final couple of stairs 

“Most definitely” The pair headed into the nursery and Bernie went toward Cameron’s room and Serena toward Charlotte’s “Come on Cam up you get” Bernie’s intrusion was greeted by a grumble from the boy 

“Go away mum”

“Cameron William Dunn out of bed now” Cameron pushed the duvet away from his face and glared at his mother with sleepy eyes “Up, washed, teeth cleaned and dressed” The boy pushed his duvet away and sleepily got to his feet “Good lad” Meanwhile Serena had gotten Charlotte up and into the bathroom to wash and clean her teeth. She smiled as the grumpy figure of Cameron soon followed his sister 

“Morning Cameron” Serena chuckled at the grumble she got back off the boy. Bernie joined her partner and looked over at her. A wet haired Serena was quite a sight. There was the hint of apple and spice from the shampoo and a smell of vanilla from the body wash; it was Serena’s unique blend

“You smell good” Bernie whispered into Serena’s ear as she passed her and left the room. Serena looked up at her partner and went after the blonde, who had begun to hobble down the last flight of stairs. She made her way down to where Bernie was and wrapped an arm around the blonde. She caught a blend of musk and citrus and smiled as she pulled herself closer to Bernie 

“So do you” Serena helped Bernie downstairs slowly and was reluctant to let go of the soldier when they reached the bottom “I-I better go and see if breakfast is ready” Bernie pecked Serena’s cheek and nuzzled it for a moment before she let go of the brunette 

“Okay” Serena smiled and left Bernie stood at the bottom of the stairs as the brunette headed down into the kitchen. Bernie smiled and hobbled into the dining room. A few minutes later the kids trudged into the dining room and sat down in their seats.

“Morning mum” The children said it at the same time as Bernie kissed each of their heads one after the other before she sat down 

“Uh… I have to talk to you both about something” Cameron and Charlotte turned their heads to look at their mother, their faces filled with apprehension “I need to go away for a while once I’m completely okay”

“Why?” Cameron asked quietly, his eyes flicked over to Charlotte who looked visibly upset at the news that their mother was leaving them again 

“Because I need to say goodbye to Alex”

“Why can’t you stay here and do that?” Charlotte asked quietly, her hands clasped together hard as she fought back the tears. Bernie put a hand over Charlotte’s and looked at her daughter 

“I’ve tried pumpkin; I’ve really tried” Bernie fought back her own tears as she began to explain things to her daughter “But there’s a part of Alex and of me in Afghanistan and I can’t move on with my life until I lay those parts to rest” Serena and Jasmine brought through the food and Serena saw that the children were visibly upset. She knew that Bernie must have told them about going back to Afghanistan. “I will come back”

“You promise?” Charlotte asked her mother quietly

“I promise” Bernie said strongly, which got a small smile from Serena as she sat down next to Cameron. He looked up at her and she nodded her head. The nod of the head re-assured the boy who smiled back at his nanny 

“And I will be staying on” Serena said with a loud smile and a wink at the young girl. Bernie turned her head and smiled at Serena pleased that the brunette had decided to stay with the kids whilst she was away. 

Breakfast was filled with quiet yet playful banter between Bernie, Serena and the kids. Jasmine couldn’t believe the difference in the family; it was like nothing had ever happened between Bernie and the kids. Serena had made such a difference; she had brought the family back together. 

“Okay you two go and collect your things and Serena and I will drop you off at school” The two children hopped off their chairs and rushed into the hallway leaving Bernie and Serena alone in the dining room. Jasmine had followed the children out to make sure that they got ready. “I’m glad you’ll stay whilst I’m away”

“Where else would I be?” Serena looked at Bernie, pushed her hand towards the blonde’s and linked their pinky fingers together. Bernie looked down at their con-joined fingers and smiled. She pulled Serena’s hand fully into her own and brought it up to her mouth. She pressed her lips against the soft skin and kept it close to her face “They’ll be okay Bernie”

“I know but I feel as if I’m letting them down again” 

“You’re not letting them down Bernie you just want to get better for them”

“And for us”

“Yes and us” Bernie pressed another kiss to Serena’s hand before she hastily dropped it when she heard footsteps. She turned her head and smiled when she saw Hayden stood in the doorway of the dining room with a knowing grin on his face 

“Don’t stop on my account” Bernie and Serena flushed red as they realise they had been caught out. Hayden smiled and hobbled over to the couple “I’m happy for you both” Bernie stood and wrapped her arms around her brother in arms. She had forgotten she didn’t have to hide anymore. “She’s a good one Bern. Don’t let her get away yeah?” 

“I won’t” Bernie whispered in reply before she broke the hug. She smiled when Hayden swept Serena up into a hug “I know how lucky I am” Serena looked at Bernie and smiled softly, which brought the blush back to the blonde’s cheeks. “We can catch up after we drop the kids off” 

“Sure” Hayden said as he broke the embrace with Serena. The brunette smiled and headed out of the dining room. She looked up the stairs and saw the kids rushing down them. Bernie and Hayden came into view and the kids’ eyes lit up when they saw their uncle

“Uncle H!” 

“Hey munchkins!” The pair barrelled into Hayden nearly knocking him off his feet, Serena readied herself to catch him but wasn’t needed “Wow must have missed me” 

“Of course we have!” Cameron said excitedly as the pair pulled away from Hayden. They loved it when Hayden came to visit and they hadn’t seen him since he went back to his flat

“Will you still be here after we finish school?”

“You’re heading to Gran’s tonight remember?” Bernie said to her kids as she pulled on her jacket

“How about I take them tonight? Give Beatrice a break?” Cameron and Charlotte excitedly turned to look at their mother and nanny at the sound of Hayden’s suggestion. Serena looked at Bernie and shrugged her shoulders. Beatrice did really need some time to herself

“You sure H?”

“Of course I’ve missed these two mischievous Wolfe cubs” 

“Okay” The two children cheered and jumped up and down but are suddenly calmed back the raising of their mother’s hands “On the understanding that you both help Uncle H and are mindful of his injuries” The children hurriedly agreed to the terms and rushed out to the car. Serena chuckled and shook her head at the antics of the excited children “Thank you Hayden” 

“Anytime and it gives you two sometime alone”

“Actually my nephew is coming over for dinner” Hayden’s eyebrows shot into his hair and looked at his long-time friend and former commanding officer with surprise. This had gotten serious very quickly 

“Oh meeting the family are we Bern?” Bernie raised an eyebrow and smiled. She nodded and ran a hand through her blonde locks to hide her blush “I’m really happy for you Bernie. Truly and I know Alex would be too” Bernie smiled weakly at the mention of Alex and Serena shuffled awkwardly 

“We had better get the kids to school” Bernie looked at her partner and nodded her head in agreement. Serena headed outside and smiled at Hayden as she walked past him. Hayden could see that he had struck a nerve with Serena and smiled apologetically at Bernie, who looked confused as to why Serena would suddenly be upset 

“I didn’t mean to hit a nerve”

“You didn’t… she’s been fine with the whole Alex thing” Bernie immediately realised that Serena wasn’t upset about Alex but the way she was going about putting that part of her life to bed. She had to go though. It was important to her “It’s something else”

“Like what?”

“I-I uh” 

“Bernie?” At least the blonde had the right to look sheepish when she looked up at Hayden before she spoke

“I-I’m going back to Afghanistan”

“What?!” Bernie winced as Hayden’s voice filled the voice with a mixture of disbelief, horror and anger “Are you insane?!”

“I need to lay the past to rest Hayden! I can’t move on with Serena until I say goodbye to Alex!” Hayden closed his eyes in disbelief at his friend’s stupid plan and shook his head. She was insane.

“By risking your neck in an active warzone?!” Bernie looked to the ground in frustration as Hayden’s objections to her plan were evident in his tone and body language 

“It’ll just be me I’ll be fine!” Hayden nearly fell over when Bernie told him she planned to go this alone. He wouldn’t let her do this on her own; it’d be too much for her to cope with on her own

“No! No you’re not going alone” Hayden knew that the trip could lead to flash backs of repressed memories and Bernie was in no fit mental state to deal with that sort of psychological trauma on her own 

“Xav will be there…”

“Xav? Xavier Duval? Christ Bernie…” Hayden hated Xavier Duval because of his arrogance and misogynistic attitude towards women officers. Bernie may have earned Xavier’s respect but Hayden still hated the man and what he stood for 

“Look he owed me a favour so I’m cashing it in” Favour or not Bernie couldn’t be left alone with an arsehole former soldier who barely passed basic training, she’d be killed. 

“I’m going with you” Bernie shook her head vigorously. She couldn’t ask Hayden to risk his own life so she could sort her own out, it wasn’t fair

“No H I can’t ask you to do that”

“You’re not asking I’m telling” Hayden put his foot down hard and Bernie knew when she was beaten. She nodded her head in surrender and stepped forward wrapping her arms around her friend, who embraced her in return “You’re mad but I get it”

“Thank you”

“I’m just scared for you Bernie”

“I know” After a few moments the friends broke the embrace and Bernie looked over Hayden’s shoulder to the door “I had best get going or the kids will be late”

“Okay if I stick around? We should talk more about this insane trip of yours”

“Yes okay” Bernie smiled and hugged her friend once again before she hobbled toward the front door. She spared a glance back at her friend before she hobbled out to the car where two very excited children and her partner had waited for a few minutes. She got into the front passenger seat and looked over at Serena “Let’s get these two little monsters to school”


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Serena is relieved when she learns Bernie won't be going back to Afghanistan alone and things start to heat up between our favourite couple

Chapter 36

After they dropped the children off at school Bernie and Serena returned home and retreated into the garden where they found Hayden sat on the wall of one of the many walled flower beds 

“Still think you’re mad” Bernie sat down in one of the wooden patio chairs and looked over at her friend. Serena sat in the other patio chair and remained quiet “But like I said I won’t let you do this alone” Serena looked up at Hayden and then at Bernie with surprise 

“You’re going with her?” Hayden nodded his head and Serena sighed in relief. Bernie could see the cloud that had hung over Serena suddenly lift. That had been the problem. Serena was terrified of her going alone “Thank you H” 

“You were scared of me going alone?” Serena looked at her partner with soft eyes and nodded her head “Why didn’t you say something?” 

“Because I didn’t feel as if it was my place” Bernie closed her eyes and stood up from the patio chair. She limped over to Serena and pulled her out of her seat. Serena closed her eyes and sank into the embrace “We’re still so new and I don’t want to appear as the insecure partner” 

“I should have been more considerate of how my going alone would make you feel” Bernie broke the embrace and pecked Serena’s forehead. She kept an arm around her partner and kept her close. Hayden smiled at the show of affection and took in how happy Bernie looked 

“I’ll make sure she comes back to you and the kids” 

“You better or I’ll break your other leg” Serena looked at Hayden with a playfully threatening glare, which made the man hold his hands in mock surrender. Bernie and Hayden chuckled and the blonde dripped in and kissed Serena softly. She knew Hayden would always be around to keep an eye on her. 

The children were excited for their stop over with their Uncle Hayden and it was much to Beatrice’s relief. She had contracted a vicious cold that wouldn’t budge and wouldn’t have the energy to look after the children. 

“Your mother sounds awful” Serena said as she entered the living room where Bernie was sat with her leg up on the puffy. It was tee minus three hours until dinner with Jason and Serena had given Jasmine instructions about what Jason usually had on a Friday evening. Jasmine had been grateful for the instruction as she had struggled to decide what she was going to cook. Serena had promised the young cook she would come and help her when she started to make the main

“It seems it’s a good thing that Hayden said he’d take them” Serena sat down in the armchair opposite Bernie and nodded her head. Bernie raised an eyebrow and silently asked the brunette why she hadn’t sat down next to her. Serena huffed and smiled and moved over to the sofa 

“Sorry”

“It’s okay” Bernie opened her arms out to Serena and the brunette curled up into the soldier’s side “So what are the dos and don’ts of meeting your nephew?” Serena looked up at Bernie and smiled at her. She couldn’t believe that Bernie was willing to take Jason on. It made Serena fall all the more

“He tends to very direct and inquisitive” Serena knew that Jason would ask about Bernie’s military career, Alex and her injuries “If you don’t want him to bring certain things up I can ask Alan to give him boundaries” 

“I’d appreciate that” Bernie knew that she wouldn’t be ready for a direct line of questioning about certain things especially about Alex knowing the tough road that lay ahead of her. Serena pulled her mobile out of her pocket and text Alan the rules that Jason had to follow this evening. Alan texted back a few moments later saying he’d make sure Jason understood. 

“Sorted” Bernie kissed the top of Serena’s hair softly and smiled. “I can feel you smiling” 

“I’m happy; a feeling I never thought I’d have again” Serena looked up at Bernie and pecked the blonde’s lips. Serena felt the hum from Bernie against her lips and giggled as she pulled away “So what can we do for the next two hours?” Serena raised an eyebrow as she felt Bernie’s hand snake under her shirt and came to rest against her skin; setting her nerve endings on fire 

“Bernie…” The blonde felt the change in Serena’s breathing as she set her hand against the brunette’s skin. Bernie dripped her head and kissed Serena passionately. Serena felt herself being pushed back as Bernie eased herself on top of her; the hand that had crept under her shirt moving higher, grazing the underside of her breast. Serena grasped against Bernie’s lips which caused the blonde to pull away and the brunette a chance to regain her bearings “Christ...”

“Sorry” Bernie saw how flushed Serena was and knew she was just as flushed. The apology made Serena look up at Bernie and she shook her head 

“Don’t be sorry” Serena cupped Bernie’s cheek and thumbed it softly. She smiled softly; the flush still present on her cheeks “I don’t think making love is wise right now as much as we both want to but I wouldn’t object to a little necking” Bernie smirked and lunged at Serena their lips meeting in a passionate kiss. Serena’s arms wound their way around Bernie neck and pulled the blonde closer so she was lying flush against her. Bernie pushed her other hand under Serena’s shirt and guided both hands over Serena’s ribs and mid-diff as she mapped the brunette’s body. She looked forward to getting to know the rest of Serena when she was ready. When Bernie’s mouth moved downwards over her jaw and to her neck Serena gasped. Bernie smirked against her lover’s skin as she began to discover all of Serena’s sensitive spots. Bernie wasted no time in latching onto the skin and sucking on it gently. Serena’s hands, now rested on Bernie’s back, gripped the medic’s shirt as the blonde’s mouth worked its sinful magic on her neck “Bernie…”

“I’m looking forward to discovering the rest of you Serena” Bernie’s hot whisper against her neck had made Serena begin to re-consider putting sex on hold until Bernie was cleared but the brunette knew that putting Bernie’s heart under any stress would increase the risk of further problems “You feel amazing under my hands” Serena felt Bernie’s fingers as they grazed under her breast again. She turned her face into her army medic’s blonde locks as her body reacted to Bernie’s teasing touch. 

“I can’t wait to get my hands on you either Major” Serena whispered hotly into Bernie’s hair; her own hands wandered under the blonde’s shirt, the feel of the soldier’s muscles as she moved her hands across Bernie’s back was unbelievable. Serena knew Bernie was strong but to feel the source of that strength was intoxicating and made the brunette desperate with want. Bernie moaned as she felt Serena’s nails sink into her skin and be dragged down her back 

“Fuck Serena” Bernie pulled away from Serena, her pupils dilated with arousal, her face flushed and her breathing erratic. The brunette smiled salaciously up at Bernie who responded with a low growl “You are something else Serena Campbell” Serena leant up and pecked Bernie’s lips, her tongue slowly licked Bernie’s top lip. Bernie was tempted to suck Serena’s bottom lip into her mouth but resisted deciding to keep that for when she and Serena made love 

“Hmm chocolate and honeycomb” Bernie chuckled and leant down to capture Serena’s lips again. Bernie decided to get her own back and sunk her teeth into the brunette’s bottom lip which elicited a moan from Serena “Bernie…” Bernie released Serena’s lip and chuckled as she watched Serena’s head flop back against the cushion 

“So beautiful”

“Darling as much as I am enjoying this I’m getting a little too worked up”

“I know” Bernie settled on top of Serena and took a deep breath. Serena smiled and kissed the top of the blonde’s head as she withdrew her hands from under Bernie’s shirt, wrapping them around her lover “You mean so much to me Serena”

“And you mean so much to me as well Bernie” 

“I’ll come back to you and the kids and we- we can work on being a family” Serena smiled loudly into Bernie’s hair and tightened her grip on the blonde. A family. Bernie wanted them to be a family. It made Serena’s heart soar at the thought “I mean it Serena I want us to be a family and if you wanted we could try and find Ellie?”

“Are you serious?” Bernie looked at Serena and smiled softly. She nodded her head and her heart-rate sky rocketed when she saw the dazzling smile on Serena’s face “Yes. Yes. Yes!” 

“Then that’s what we’ll do” Serena lunged down and kissed Bernie passionately and stole the blonde’s breathe. Bernie cupped the back of Serena’s neck and deepened the kiss. After a few moments she had to break the kiss in order to catch her breath 

“How did I get so lucky?” Serena said gently her hand caressed Bernie’s cheek 

“I think we’re both lucky to find each other” Bernie turned her head and pressed her lips against Serena’s hand before she rested her head on her partner’s chest. She had found somewhere she could have peace


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernie and Serena prepare for the dinner with Jason and the couple hope to get the young man on side in terms of their relationship and Bernie's plans to go to Afghanistan.

Chapter 37

Dinner came around quickly and Serena paced nervously as Jasmine went to open the door. She smiled loudly when Jason walked in followed closely by Alan. The brunette rushed over to her nephew and gave him a brief hug before she turned to Alan and hugged him 

“Thank you both for coming” Serena smiled loudly at the pair then nodded politely at Jasmine, who smiled softly at the brunette “Major Wolfe will be with us shortly” Serena guided Alan and Jason through to the living room 

“Why did you give Alan a list of rules I have to follow?” 

“Because there are certain things Major Wolfe doesn’t want to talk about” Serena glanced at Alan then turned her attention back to Jason before she continued “Jason I’m asking you as your auntie please can you try and get along with Major Wolfe?” Alan knew then there was something Serena wasn’t telling them and smiled wryly to himself 

“Okay” Serena sighed in relief when Jason agreed to get along with Bernie and how much she hoped they would get along 

“Thank you” Serena smiled gratefully at Jason. She knew her nephew would stay within the rules set and that Bernie would be grateful for that 

“Good evening all” Serena turned her head at the sound of Bernie’s voice and nearly fell off the sofa at how beautiful the blonde looked. She was dressed in a crisp white shirt, a grey zip up waistcoat and grey slim fit chinos and black slip on leather shoes. She looked so handsome “You must be Jason” Bernie approached the young man sat nearest Serena and held out her hand “I’m Bernie” Jason shook Bernie’s hand as Serena looked on nervously 

“Yes I know who you are Major” Bernie was shocked by the strength of Jason’s grip as they shook hands. After a tense few seconds Alan stood up and introduced himself to Bernie  


“I’m Alan, Jason’s carer and a good friend of Serena’s” 

“It’s good to meet you Alan” Bernie shook Alan’s hand and sat down next to Serena “We have a few minutes till dinner and I was hoping that I could get to know you better Jason” Jason looked at Bernie before he glanced at the rules that Alan had given him about certain subjects that he couldn’t ask Bernie “Your aunt tells me you’re a history bluff”

“Yes I’m very interested in military history “

“I come from a military family, perhaps after dinner I could show you some of my family’s history” Serena knew Bernie was trying and hoped that Jason would reciprocate the gesture 

“I would like that thank you Major” Bernie smiled softly and nodded her head. The blonde glanced at Serena before she turned her attention back to Jason “How are your children?”

“Oh they’re good; they’re staying with a friend of mine this evening” 

“Auntie Serena told you I am uncomfortable around strangers” 

“Yes. Yes she did and I know that meeting me must be difficult for you”

“I don’t understand why she wants me to meet you” Bernie looked at Serena and silently asked for permission to tell Jason why the blonde was meeting Jason and Serena took a deep breath “You and your children are just a job”

“That isn’t strictly true now Jason” Serena looked at her nephew and swallowed the lump in her throat before she continued to explain the new situation between herself and the Major “Bernie and I have entered into a relationship” Alan smirked to himself as he hide it under his hand. He was pleased for Serena and for the Major, who had been through such a terrible ordeal 

“Like girlfriends?” Jason asked, the cogs turned in his head as he tried to understand what his auntie meant

“Yes like girlfriends” Serena said with a smile. Bernie reached over and laced their fingers together. Serena squeezed them and smiled in relief. Bernie knew she had to set Jason’s mind at rest about what their relationship meant for Serena and Jason

“Jason I want you to understand that in no way am I or my kids going to take your aunt away from you” Jason looked at them and saw the fingers interlinked together. He could see how happy his auntie looked and knew that Bernie made her happy despite everything the Major had gone through

“I understand” Bernie smiled and sighed in relief whilst Serena was almost in tears with how understanding Jason was about herself and Bernie 

“Jason I know this must be a shock but I’m happier than I ever been”

“It isn’t a shock Auntie Serena; Sian has told me all about your relationship with her whilst you were at university” Serena chuckled and shook her head at Sian and her antics. She and Sian hadn’t lasted long, realising they were better off as friends rather than lovers. “And I can see how happy you are with the Major” Before Serena or Bernie could say anything else Jasmine came into the living room with a polite smile 

“Dinner is ready to be served Major” 

“Thank you Jasmine we’ll be with you in a moment” Jasmine smiled at Bernie’s words but needed to take a double glance when she saw Serena’s and the Major’s hands entwined together. She smiled to herself as she turned and headed into the dining room “Shall we?” The dinner party headed into the dining room and sat down at the table with Jason sat next to his auntie and Alan next to Bernie “Your auntie had Jasmine prepare your favourites tonight Jason is that okay?” Jason looked at his auntie and she nodded her head as to tell him that Bernie told him the truth 

“That’s very thoughtful of you Auntie Serena thank you” 

“I just wanted you to feel as comfortable as possible Jason” Jasmine and Raf, who had been roped in to helping the young chef for the evening, entered the room with two bowls of soup each 

“Lentil and Bacon Soup” Jasmine announced to the table as she set a bowl down in front of Bernie and Alan “I hope it’s to your liking Jason” Jasmine said to the young man as Raf placed the bowl down in front of him. It looked and smelt amazing. The quartet tucked into the soup and it tasted amazing. Bernie looked up at Jasmine and winked as a way to tell her how good it was. The young woman smiled brightly and flushed in embarrassment. 

“So Major why did you decide to take up medicine as well as an army career?” The question came from Alan rather than Jason as a way to direct the young man about what he could and couldn’t ask Bernie 

“I always knew I would join the army but I had a passion for medicine from a young age” Bernie picked up her napkin and wiped the edge of her mouth “I used to read anatomy books from age eight and found it fascinating, I suppose I was always destined to be an army medic despite my father’s wish that I became an infantry soldier” 

“Must have been hard”

“I was always a disappointment”

“I’m sure that’s not true Major” Alan said surprised that Bernie felt that way about herself in terms of her parents “How can you be a disappointment when you’re a national hero?” 

“It wasn’t my career choice that disappointed my parents the most” Alan looked up at Serena, who knew that Bernie’s parents hadn’t reacted well when she came out as a lesbian. They had forced her to marry a man she didn’t, couldn’t love and made her pretend that she was heterosexual 

“Why did your sexuality disappoint them? You can’t change who you’re sexually attracted to” Bernie looked at Jason and wished that she could see things the way he did; so black and white “It isn’t a choice” 

“You’re right Jason it isn’t but when I was younger it wasn’t as widely accepted as it is today and my parents were brought up by a generation that believed homosexuality was wrong and un-natural” Bernie said as she explained why her parents had been so against her sexuality. She still resented her father for what he had said and done and no apology, whether it was on his death bed or not, would ever repair the damage he had caused “And although my father accepted me on his death bed I still don’t think I ever made him proud”

“Well I’m proud of you” Bernie looked at her partner and smiled gently at her, a faint blush covered her cheeks “As is your mother, your children and your friends” Bernie swallowed the lump in her throat sparing a glance toward Raf and Jasmine, who nodded their heads in agreement with Serena.

“Your auntie certainly knows how to woo a girl Jason” 

“That’s what Sian said too” Serena coughed up the wine that she had just taken a sip of and Bernie chuckled at her partner’s response. Bernie rubbed Serena’s back and winked at Jason, who was sat beaming wildly 

“I’m going to be having words with Sian” Serena mumbled as she took another sip of her wine, her cheeks flushed in slight embarrassment. 

“I like you Major” Bernie looked up at Jason and smiled softly at his acceptance of her. She glanced across at Alan then at Serena, whose eyes suddenly were tinged with tears. Bernie knew that Serena had expected some resistance from her nephew and Jason’s easy acceptance had surprised the brunette “Please don’t hurt Auntie Serena” 

“I won’t” Bernie looked over at Serena, her eyes brimmed with the seriousness of the moment “I promise” Raf glanced at Jasmine, who smiled softly at the scot who had his brow furrowed in confusion at what was going on “Can I ask something of you Jason?”

“Of course Major”

“Keep an eye on your auntie for me whilst I’m away?” 

“Away?” Bernie nodded her head and ran a hand through her hair and glanced at Serena nervously as she hoped she hadn’t overstepped the mark 

“Once I get medical clearance from Ms Naylor and Mr Self I’m taking a trip to say good bye to an old friend which involves me leaving the country for a short while and I would feel better if I knew someone was looking after her for me until I come home” 

“I will look after her” Bernie sighed in relief and she smiled in thanks to the young man who had made such an impression on her 

“Thank you Jason” Serena laid her hand over Jason’s arm and squeezed the lower limb softly in thanks. She was grateful to her nephew for helping Bernie. Alan looked at Jason and nodded his head, pleased that Jason had decided to make an effort with The Major.


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernie and Jason bond over the Major's family album, Serena gets annoyed at Bernie when the blonde doesn't disclose the fact her leg is aching and our favourite couple cuddle up on the sofa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello readers! Thanks for the support and kudos they keep me going!   
> Please leave as many kudos and comments as you like too!

Chapter 38

Dinner had been a success and Serena watched as Bernie went through an old photo album with Jason as she showed the young man various members of her family that had served in the armed forces 

“That was my dad during the Falklands” Bernie smiled sadly as she looked down at the photo of her father with her platoon. He looked so happy to be with his comrades, so different in the company of his army mates and it made Bernie so envious “He loved the army, loved his job”

“Like you?” 

“Yes like me” Bernie smiled at Jason and nodded her head softly “And like my dad I always put my job before my family” Bernie had had time to reflect on her choices throughout her life and knew she had turned into her father at one point in terms of her family “Until someone reminded me that life is about more than being a soldier” Bernie glanced over at Serena, who smiled at the blonde softly as she sipped her wine. Jason looked between his auntie and Bernie and furrowed his brow. There had been a point not so long ago where his auntie barely liked the Major but it had all changed and Jason saw how much his auntie liked Bernie in one glance. To Jason that sort of love belonged in fairy-tales yet it was right here in front of him 

“What are your plans now you’re unable to go back into the army?” The question threw Bernie as she realised she had really thought about the future now she didn’t have her commission. The medical discharge meant her future was up in the air in terms of her career as a surgeon and it would be something she needed to think about

“I haven’t really thought about it if I’m being honest Jason”

“I think the children will be Bernie’s top priority Jason” Bernie looked at Serena and smiled at the brunette’s input because she knew her partner was right. The kids needed her to be their mother and though she knew she’d never make up the years that were lost she’d try damn hard to do so

“Yes the children are and will always be my top priority” Bernie knew that her children needed to be the centre of her attentions but they also needed to understand that Bernie wasn’t just their mother, she was a woman too who had needs and who wanted to give them a family unit that was stable and loving “But I also have my relationship with your aunt as well and, hopefully, you as well Jason” 

“I’ve never had a real family before” Jason’s mother hadn’t been the easiest of people to live with and the pair had struggled for a long time with Jason’s Aspergers and other issues. Yes Jason knew he had a loving home with his aunt but it felt as if there was always something missing. If Robbie hadn’t turned tail at the first sign of disruption in his perfect world then maybe it would have provided the stability Jason desperately wanted but it didn’t happen. Jason knew that Bernie was that something that had missing; he just knew 

“Once you’re ready, and only when you’re ready, you could meet Cameron and Charlotte”

“I would like that” Bernie smiled joyfully and patted the young man on the shoulder to show her gratitude. Serena had also told her Jason wasn’t one for affection or human contact so Bernie just kept it to the minimum 

Another hour ticked by and Jason had bonded with Bernie amazingly well. Serena couldn’t have been more proud of her boy and of her partner. She saw the instant bond as a good thing and knew that it was one less obstacle in the way of their new relationship

“Sorry to tear you away from the Major Jason but we have to get home” Alan checked his watch and it read nearly 9pm. Jason nodded his head and checked his own watch; he liked to be in his room by half past nine so he could spend an hour playing on his games console before heading to sleep. Bernie stood from the sofa and held out her hand to Jason, who took it and shook it briefly 

“It was a pleasure to meet you Jason; you’re welcome around here anytime”

“It was good to meet you too Major. Thank you for telling me about your family”

“It was a pleasure”

“Goodnight Auntie Serena” Jason tolerated hugs from his auntie because of the familial connection and stiffly hugged her back when she wrapped her arms around him   
“I’m so proud of you” Serena murmured to her nephew before she pulled away from the embrace “I’ll pop over home sometime next week to catch up okay” Jason nodded and headed into the hall way. Alan lingered for a few moments and smiled at the couple

“You’re a dark horse Campbell but I’m pleased for you both” Serena hugged Alan tightly in gratitude, pleased that the man had no objections to her new partner. Alan pulled away and looked at Bernie with a glint in his eye “You hurt her I’ll come after you and break your other leg”

“I’ll hold you to your word sir but I promise you I won’t hurt her” Alan held his hand out for Bernie to shake and smiled at the blonde as she shook his hand firmly “You and Jason are welcome anytime”

“I’ll hold you to that Major” The trio headed into the hallway where Jason was stood patiently as he waited on his carer. Alan smiled as he saw the headlights of the taxi they had pre booked pull into the driveway “It was an honour to meet you Major”

“As it was you” Serena opened the door and followed Alan and Jason out onto the driveway. Bernie lingered on the door step, cautious about taking on the steps in the dark 

“See you next week” Alan hugged Serena once more as the taxi pulled up at the door. He waved at Bernie before he and Jason got into the car. Serena re-joined Bernie on the top step and the pair waved as the taxi turned and headed back down the drive way 

“Your nephew is a wonderful young man and you should be very proud of him” Serena turned her head and looked up at Bernie. She couldn’t wipe the beaming smile off her face. The brunette responded to Bernie’s words with a passionate kiss that nearly knocked the blonde off her feet 

“Thank you for being so good with him”

“It wasn’t a hardship Serena” 

“You made it look so easy Bernie”

“It wasn’t” Bernie pecked Serena’s forehead and kept her arms around her partner. Serena looked at Bernie and furrowed her brow, she saw the fear that Bernie had successfully hidden away throughout the evening “I was terrified” 

“You didn’t show it” Bernie chuckled at Serena’s observation and nodded her head. She knew the fear was now visible in her eyes 

“As an officer you aren’t allowed to show fear”

“You don’t have to be Major Wolfe now Bernie” The blonde saw that Serena was being truthful about her not having to be the Major all the time now but it was a defence mechanism that she had perfected since Alex’s death and it wasn’t one that was going to be disabled easily “Come on let’s go inside and settle down for the evening”

“My leg is throbbing a little” Serena was quick to adjust her body so she had one arm around Bernie’s waist in order to support her 

“Why didn’t you say something?” Bernie barely had the chance to blink before Serena had adjusted her body and looked at the woman who had easily slipped into her doctor skin 

“I was trying to be the genial host” Bernie grimaced as she took the first steps back into the house. Yes her leg was definitely throbbing something rotten. 

“Bernie…”

“I know I know stop with the macho army medic routine” The progression from the door to the living room was slow but Bernie knew it was probably best that it was slow given how fragile her leg felt under her right now

“Exactly” 

Once the couple had reached the living room Serena gently helped Bernie sit down on the sofa. She grabbed the footrest and carefully raised her partner’s foot, pushing the footrest under it. Bernie let out a relieved sigh once her foot was set down on the footrest. Serena knelt down and removed the leather slip ons from Bernie’s feet and pushed them under the footrest out of the way. 

“Thank you Serena” The brunette raised an eyebrow at the blonde before she headed back out of the living room to close the front door. Bernie knew that Serena was annoyed at her for being so stubborn and genial. It was an anxious few moments for Bernie before Serena re-entered the living room “I’m sorry Serena I just wanted to make a good impression, I shouldn’t have been so blasé about the state of my leg” Serena looked at Bernie, who looked so remorseful and guilty about her trying to be the strongest person she could have been in front of Jason. The brunette sighed and sat down next to Bernie pulling the blonde into an embrace

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have been so hard on you” 

“I just…” Bernie took a breath and Serena stayed silent as her partner tried to find her words “I never met any of Alex’s family and I stopped speaking to Marcus’s parents after the divorce so I hadn’t really had any experience meeting family before and Jason… he’s so important to you; I just didn’t want to disappoint you” 

“You could never disappoint me Bernie” Serena said softly into Bernie’s hair. Bernie’s mind set was still so fragile and Serena didn’t want her to regress into herself “You’ve been seriously injured and there is no shame in admitting when you’re in pain” Bernie curled into Serena and nuzzled the brunette’s neck as she settled into her arms. Serena smiled softly and looked around for the blanket that was still somewhere in the living room. She felt it behind her head and reached over her head, grabbing it “You’re in no state to move at the moment so I’m afraid the sofa will have to” 

“Not complaining” Serena chuckled as she threw the blanket over herself and Bernie. She kissed the top of Bernie’s head and rested her own against the blonde’s 

“I never did tell you how handsome you looked tonight” Serena thumbed the zip of Bernie’s waistcoat. Serena couldn’t deny that her heart had skipped a beat when she saw Bernie enter the living room when she greeted Jason. The waistcoat hugged Bernie in all the right places and the leather slip on formal shoes, though meant to be worn with this particular outfit, added to the soft butch look that the blonde had aimed for 

“I never told you how beautiful you looked” Bernie looked up at Serena through hooded eyes and smiled softly. Serena leant down and pressed her lips to Bernie’s softly “I have to ask where did you get this waistcoat from? I haven’t seen one with a zip before”

“I had it custom made after I suffered a fractured collarbone” Another one of the many injuries Bernie had sustained during her years in the army. She had fractured her collarbone during a routine exercise when she had just started her officer’s training. 

“So you could dress yourself if the need arose for you to wear something formal” 

“Indeed” Bernie yawned and looked up at Serena apologetically. The brunette giggled and pressed her lips to Bernie’s “Sorry”

“It’s okay Bernie we’ve had a busy day” Serena felt Bernie shift and snuggle further into her. She tightened her arm around the blonde and looked down to find her partner had dozed off “Sleep sweetheart I’ll be right here” Serena murmured into Bernie’s hair before she pressed a soft kiss into it. She wouldn’t be far behind guaranteed.


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the day of Bernie's check up with Jac and Guy. Will she get the all clear? And Bernie takes Serena on a date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Please leave comments and kudos because they keep me writing!

Chapter 39  
(A week later)

Bernie and Serena were sat in Jac’s office as they waited nervously for the redhead consultant. Today was make or break for Bernie and her trip to Afghanistan. Serena looked over to her nervous partner, her knees bounced up and down and her hands wound tightly in her lap 

“Never thought I’d see you so nervous” Bernie looked over at Serena and smiled weakly. The brunette reached over and grasped her partner’s hands “Everything will be okay” Bernie looked down at her now covered hands and pulled Serena’s fingers between her own. Before Bernie had the chance to reply the office door opened and walked in Jac with Bernie’s file open in hand 

“Well Major you’re in unbelievably good health for someone who was at death’s door a few weeks ago” Jac sat on the edge of her desk and looked up from the open file and raised her eyebrows at the sight of Bernie and Serena holding hands. She smirked, closed the file and folded her arms “Taking TLC to an all new level are we Campbell?”

“It isn’t like that”

“Oh I bet it isn’t” Serena raised an unimpressed eyebrow at the red-head, who just perched on the edge of her desk smirking at the fact she’d been right about the couple “As for your health Major I see no long term problems with your heart though I’d put off any strenuous activity until Mr Self clears you”

“And travelling?” Bernie knew that Jac was teasing about the strenuous activity in reference to sexual aspect of her new relationship with Serena. Though the couple had yet to consummate their relationship, the sexual tension between the two was palpable. The make out sessions had become more common and more intense and Bernie knew that sooner or later either one of them or both of them could lose control. 

“As long as you get a clean bill of health from Mr Self I see no problem with travelling” Bernie felt Serena squeeze her hand at the sound of the good news. Bernie knew that her trip back to Afghanistan was one step closer. 

“Thank you Ms Naylor” Jac saw the relief flood Bernie’s face at the news of her being able to travel. Jasmine, of course, had told Jac of Bernie’s plans to go back to Afghanistan and though Jac knew that it was a dangerous venture she understood why Bernie had to make that trip

“Thank you Jac” The red head looked at Serena and nodded her head in acknowledgement. Bernie stood with Serena and the couple headed for the door of the office. Neurosurgery was the next stop to, hopefully, getting a complete bill of clean health. Jac smiled, a soft chuckled escape her lips once the couple had left her office. Guy owned her £20. 

“One down, one to go” Serena took Bernie’s hand and squeezed it reassuringly. She didn’t like the thought of Bernie going back to Afghanistan but she knew that she couldn’t change her partner’s mind “If Guy clears me then I’ll be heading out next week…” 

“I know” Serena said quietly. Bernie furrowed her brow at Serena’s hushed response. She knew that Serena wasn’t looking forward to her leaving despite understanding the reasons behind the trip

“I will be okay you know” The couple sat down outside Guy’s office, still hand in hand. Serena knew she had to have her say before it was too late. She had to let Bernie knew what she was feeling before the blonde headed off 

“How can you say that?” Serena sighed and withdrew her hand from Bernie’s. She balled her hands up in her lap and looked at her partner as she took a deep breath “You have no idea if you’ll be okay Bernie. Not one” Bernie closed her eyes and pursed her lips. She knew that Serena had been hiding her true feelings about her trip and now she was about to hear it all “You’re going back to an active warzone for god’s sake” Serena took a deep breath before she continued “What if you get hurt again? What if you get killed Bernie? What then? What about the kids?” 

“H and Xav will keep me safe Serena they’re two of the best soldiers I’ve ever been in service with” 

“Hayden is still recovering Bernie” Bernie flinched at Serena’s stinging words and knew the brunette was right. Hayden could barely stand without his crutch, his arm was just out of the sling and his ribs were still fragile “And from what I’ve heard from H this Xav isn’t as angelic as you make him out to be”

“Be that as it may he’d still protect me, they both would”

“At what cost? Their lives? A limb or two?” 

“Yes I know we have no way of knowing what awaits us in that village but I have to do this if I am going to heal”

“Then do it but you don’t have my blessing to do so”

“But… I thought…”

“Yes I was relieved when Hayden said he’d go with you and that I understood why you have to go but that doesn’t mean I have to like it or agree with it”

“Serena...”

“Darling please just take care for me and for the kids” Bernie looked at Serena, cupped her cheek and pressed her lips to her partner’s as she captured them in a soft, loving kiss. Serena laid a hand on Bernie’s wrist and wrapped her fingers around it, keeping the hand against her cheek 

“I promise” Bernie whispered as the couple broke for air. The whisper was soft yet re-assuring, it gave Serena belief that Bernie would come home and in one piece. Serena pressed her lips back against Bernie, the kiss intended to convey everything the brunette felt for the blonde sat beside her. 

“Sorry to interrupt but I believe we have an appointment Ms Wolfe?” Serena smiled against her partner’s lips as Guy’s voice broke through their bubble. Bernie looked up at Guy through her lashes and nodded her head as she pulled away from Serena 

“I believe we do Mr Self” Bernie pecked Serena’s lips before she pulled her up as she stood. She and Serena followed Guy into his office and took their seats opposite the neurosurgeon “I reviewed your scans from the visit a couple of days ago and you’ve healed remarkably well” Bernie smiled and grasped Serena’s hand. The outpatients appointment had been without Serena as the brunette had had to take Cameron to a football tournament “I won’t be needing to see you again Ms Wolfe”

“Thank you Mr Self” Bernie and Serena stood, the blonde offered up her hand to Guy who shook it earnest “I take I’m cleared to travel?”

“Yes” 

“Long overdue family holiday” Guy smiled and nodded his head at Bernie’s, so-called, plan. He didn’t need to know what she had in mind “Thank you again Mr Self” Bernie and Serena headed out of the office, the blonde sighed in relief “I can get onto Xav and tell him the trip is a go” 

“That idea of a family holiday isn’t a bad one” The pair headed toward the elevator and Bernie hit the button for the ground floor. Serena was right it wasn’t a bad idea. 

“It’s something we could think about” Bernie smiled at the thought of herself, Serena and the kids on a beach somewhere or walking around a theme park. It was an amazing thought and one that she so desperately wanted 

“Somewhere the kids would enjoy as well as us adults” 

“We’ll have to have a think” The couple got into the elevator and Serena hit the button for the foyer. Bernie smiled and pressed a kiss to her partner’s temple. Serena moved closer to Bernie and laid her head on her lover’s shoulder “I was thinking we could just have a night, just the two of us before I leave for Afghanistan”

“I would like that” Serena looked up at Bernie and smiled softly at her partner “Very much” Bernie leaned down and pressed her lips against Serena’s. The kiss was a promise and Serena knew it. 

“Me too…” The elevator pinged and the doors opened out onto the foyer. The couple separated but kept their hands joined as they headed out of the hospital. “Why don’t we head for lunch? My treat” Serena pulled Bernie up and turned the blonde to face her, a teasing smile pulled at her lips 

“Are you asking me on a date Major?” Bernie raised an eyebrow at the use of her official title and wrapped an arm around her partner, pulling her close 

“What if I am Ms Campbell?” Serena copied Bernie’s actions and wrapped her free arm around the blonde’s back so they were nearly flush against each other 

“Then the answer is most certainly yes” Bernie’s smile could have lit up the entirety of Holby at how bright it was. Serena knew, in that moment, she’d give anything to Bernie smile like that for the rest of her life “Have you got somewhere in mind?” 

“I know a little Italian restaurant not far from here” The couple separated, their hands still clasped together as they began walking again “Amazing food, even better wine list”

“What are we waiting for then?” The couple chuckled and slowly headed for the restaurant. It belonged to a family whose son had come through Bernie’s hospital in Kandahar. She hadn’t been able to save him but his family had been grateful for her efforts even though she hadn’t succeeded in keeping him alive. She hadn’t visited the restaurant in a while and had never brought anyone there to eat not even Alex. 

It took the couple a good twenty minutes to reach the restaurant and even the soldier and gentle-woman Bernie opened and kept the door for Serena, which earned her a soft, warm smile from her partner 

“Bernie! It’s been too long!” A woman enveloped Bernie in a tight hug that made Serena a little wary given her partner’s still weakened condition “How are you?”

“Eh… been better Lorelei” 

“And who is this?”

“Lorelei Vecino this is my partner Serena Campbell” Lorelei, of course, knew all about Bernie’s messy divorce but not the reasons why. She had supported the blonde through the process as she had been through it herself. “Serena this is Lorelei, I knew her son all too briefly in Kandahar” 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Ms Vecino” Serena felt Lorelei’s eyes roam her face and figure as if they were judging her. Clearly Lorelei had no idea that Bernie was gay 

“And you Ms Campbell” Lorelei looked at Bernie and smiled brightly at the ex-soldier. Serena felt herself relax immediately “Met your match in this one Bernie” The blonde smiled and ducked her head, her cheeks flushed red at Lorelei’s impressions of her partner “And it’s Lorelei dear” Serena smiled and nodded her head at the woman as she led them to a private booth by the window. It gave the couple a stunning view of the river “I’ll leave you two to order but we must catch up young lady” Bernie flushed red at Lorelei’s order and nodded her head. The woman smiled and patted Bernie’s shoulder before leaving the couple to order 

“Wow…”

“Her son, Aaron, was one of civilian casualties from a battle in Kandahar”

“Civilian?”

“He was a civilian aid worker”

“He didn’t make it”

“I tried but his blast injuries were too severe”

“I’m sorry”

“I met his mother and sister when I came home on leave. I told them how brave he had been and that his last words were of them”

“And you’ve remained close ever since?”

“Yes” Serena knew this was a big thing for Bernie to open up about the things she had seen and experienced in Afghanistan. The biggest thing, of course, was the loss of Alex but there would have been other incidents, other people that she had lost that would have affected her “I haven’t been here since the divorce”

“It’s beautiful” The restaurant was sympathically restored and gave off a genuine Italian feel. It felt so welcoming. 

“And the food is to die for”

“Did you bring Alex here?” Bernie looked at Serena and took a deep breath. It was understandable as to why Serena thought that. She and Alex must have had secret places where they could be themselves 

“No” Serena smiled and laced her fingers with Bernie’s across the table. This must be a big step for her partner and she couldn’t be more pleased for her “I never wanted to bring her here” Bernie looked at their entwined fingers and squeezed them together softly “Maybe that was my head telling me something”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know” Bernie shook her head and brought Serena’s hand up to her lips pressing them against the back of it. Bernie knew that she may get answers in Afghanistan but she also knew it could bring up more questions than answers and that scared her. She had had plenty of opportunities to bring Alex here but never did and she never understood why

“Are you two ready to order?” The conversation had been put on hold by the re-appearance of Lorelei. Bernie smiled softly up at her friend then looked at Serena, who shrugged. Bernie smiled and nodded her head; her partner wanted her to choose for them both and the blonde had the perfect dish.

“One pasta platter special, a helping of those amazing mozzarella dough balls with the herb dip and the finest shiraz you have please Lorelei”

“Coming right up” The woman left and Serena raised an eyebrow at Bernie’s choice of food. She wasn’t complaining about it because the blonde had chosen well and she trusted Bernie’s judgement about the food here.


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The date continues as Bernie finds out more about Serena and her fractured relationship with Elinor, which strengthens the soldier's resolve to do for Serena what Serena had done for her and the pair move closer to taking their relationship to the next level.

Chapter 40

“I’ve just realised I barely know you” Bernie murmured as she sipped her wine. Serena smiled and nodded her head slowly. Bernie was right, they barely knew each other yet they were in a relationship. 

“Well I studied medicine at St Andrews before continuing my university career at Harvard.” Bernie’s eyebrows nearly shot off her head. She was impressed, very impressed. St Andrews and Harvard? Wow “I achieved an MBA at Harvard in Business Studies” 

“Beauty and brains I certainly have met my match haven’t I?” Serena chuckled and sipped her wine. She shook her head at Bernie’s comment and gave the blonde a soft smile. She was intelligent but Serena knew that she had nothing on Bernie “Is Harvard where you met Edward?”

“Yes it was a rather whirlwind romance” Bernie sat back and smiled. She knew what whirlwind romances felt like as that what she and Alex were. “We were married within a year” 

“When did Elinor make an appearance?”

“A year later” Serena smiled as she remembered holding Elinor in her arms for the first time, how beautiful she was. It was magical “She was so perfect, her eyes a deep brown; she looked so angelic” Bernie heard the love in her partner’s voice as she spoke about her daughter. She had never pushed Serena into talking about why she had lost contact with Elinor “I gave up everything to be a good mum but, in the end, it wasn’t enough; especially not when Daddy spoilt her rotten and I always had to play the bad cop” Bernie knew that song all too well. It had been the same with Marcus. He used to spoil the kids rotten when she was on tour and when she came home she had to rein in the freedom their father had given them. 

“How old was she when you last saw her?”

“Seven” Serena’s voice broke when the emotions of remembrance. The last time she had seen her daughter was outside a family court as she argued with Edward. The bitterness of that day had always left its taste in Serena’s mouth and she could never rid herself of it no matter how hard she tried “After Edward and I split we shared custody until the hearing in the family court; she chose to go with him and I just stood by and let her go” 

“You only wanted what was best for her”

“Edward gave me an address and a phone number and until two years ago they were correct but then I started getting my cards and presents back and the number was disconnected” Bernie couldn’t have begun to imagine what Serena must have been through trying to find her daughter. She felt ashamed of her behaviour over the past few years, since Alex died, toward her own children and realised she could, maybe, should have lost them a long time ago. 

“They moved without letting you know?” 

“Edward’s final victory” Serena’s words were laced with venom directed at the louse of an ex-husband. She knew that was what Edward had wanted all along when it came to Elinor, for him to have sole custody so he could drip poison into her ear. 

“Have you ever tried to find her?”

“I’ve asked her grandmother, her auntie but they won’t tell me” Bernie felt so heartily sorry for her partner and so angry for her as well. How could they deny Serena knowledge of her daughter’s whereabouts? 

“You’re her mother!”

“They’ve always disliked me; they always thought I wasn’t good enough for Edward” Bernie scoffed at the ridiculousness of Serena’s words. They had gotten it all wrong because Edward was the one who wasn’t good enough for Serena and though Bernie wasn’t in a position to judge she couldn’t believe that Edward would ever cheat on Serena. To Bernie Serena was a beautiful soul, with a beautiful mind and a kind heart, who deserved more than what Bernie thought she could offer. 

“You’re still her mother Serena” Bernie sighed and took Serena’s hand in her own, clutching it across the table “You helped me remember what it’s like to be a parent, you brought me and my kids back together” Serena smiled at her hand conjoined with Bernie’s on the table top and looked up at the blonde “I said to you that I wanted to be a family and that we would try and find Ellie” Serena remembered that exchange, she swallowed the lump in her throat and bit back the tears that had begun to form in her eyes “I meant it Serena” Serena heard the determination and steeliness in Bernie’s voice. She did mean it and that brought Serena so much hope. If they found Elinor and were able to bring her home, her life would be complete. She’d have a loving partner, two amazing step-kids, her nephew and, more importantly, her daughter. She’d have everything she had always wanted and what she didn’t know she wanted as well. 

“I don’t deserve you” There was so much emotion in Serena’s voice that it almost broke Bernie’s heart that her partner thought that as it was Bernie who thought that she didn’t deserve Serena, especially after everything that had happened since they met. 

“And here I thought I was the one who didn’t deserve you” 

“Oh Bernie…”

“It’s true though” Bernie turned their conjoined hands over and smiled ruefully as she squeezed Serena’s fingers. She was silent for a brief moment as she thought about what she had done to deserve someone like Serena Campbell in her life “I’ve been an absent mother, a distant daughter and I’ve almost destroyed my family and myself because of grief” 

“That’s all in the past Bernie”

“It will be soon enough” Serena’s reply was put on ice as Lorelei brought their wine and food over to the table. She smiled at the sight of the couple’s conjoined hands on the table top and gave Bernie a cheeky wink. The blonde flushed red and looked up at Lorelei from under her fringe

“It is good to see you happy Bernie” Lorelei patted Bernie’s shoulder before she left the couple to have their meal in piece. Bernie chuckled, embarrassed at how flushed she had become. Serena, on the other hand, bit her lip as it sank in that she liked a flustered Bernie. 

“You’re beautiful when you’re all flustered” Serena’s whispered words nearly made Bernie drop the bottle of wine that she had just picked up to pour. She steadied her grip and tightened it to prevent it from slipping from her hand 

“Keep that up and we’re taking this to go” Serena flushed bright red; her face grew warm at the meaning of those loaded words. She knew the underlying meaning to Bernie’s words. 

“I don’t think I’d object” Bernie looked up at Serena through her fringe, her eyes glazed over with desire. Serena felt as if her body was on fire with the look Bernie gave her. Bernie straightened up and looked over to Lorelei then glanced at Serena 

“Lorelei can we have this to go please?” The woman nodded, a smile graced her lips as she picked up the food. She knew that Bernie had picked a good one in this Serena and she hoped that it would be the making of the broken soldier. 

“Here you go” Lorelei had wrapped the food up tightly and placed it down on the table top. Bernie smiled gratefully and moved to get her wallet from her coat “It’s on the house”

“Lorelei…”

“Bernie Wolfe don’t argue with me” Bernie let out a soft blast of laughter and nodded her head. She watched as Serena picked up the food and stood from the table. The blonde followed suit and wrapped her arms around the restaurant owner, who reciprocated the gesture “Portala a casa e mostrale un po 'di amore” Bernie’s face flushed at Lorelei’s whispered words but knew that the night had now headed that way. She felt nervous about making love to Serena and was cautious and how much she’d be able to please her partner given the fact her leg still ached from time to time “Ti meriti questo Bernie, non lasciarlo andare“

“I won’t” The women broke the embrace and Bernie reached for Serena’s free hand. The brunette laced her fingers through Bernie’s and smiled softly at her partner. Making love to a woman wasn’t anything new to Serena but it had never mattered as much as it did with Bernie. Sian and Fleur were dalliances whilst at university, they didn’t truly mean anything but Bernie was completely different and that scared Serena. 

The couple left the restaurant in a loaded silence, both aware of what would happen when they got back to the house. Thankfully the restaurant beside a taxi rank and, with it being mid-week, there were taxis aplenty for the couple. Bernie approached the cab at the front and gave him the address 

“Lorelei is really nice” Serena opened one of the doors to the back of the cab and climbed inside. She had noticed how much Lorelei meant to Bernie and vice versa

“She’s been a good friend to me” Bernie climbed in after Serena and closed the door just before the cab started moving. Serena was curious as to why Bernie had never told Lorelei about Alex if they were as close as they appeared and what Bernie had said about not being sure as to why she had never taken Alex to the restaurant irked her a little

“She never knew about Alex?” Bernie shook her head; her fingers actively looked for Serena’s taking her partner’s hand once again. 

“She knew about the divorce but never the reason for it” 

“I’m glad you had someone to confide in about the divorce”

“She and her husband divorced just after Aaron died” Serena knew how important it was to have someone to talk to when it came to matters such as divorce. She had had Sian, who had been through two husbands by the time she partitioned for divorce from Edward. Serena knew she should have listened to Sian about Edward before they married but she thought that the man was right for her, how wrong she was “Her husband just couldn’t get past his grief and it destroyed their marriage” 

“Sounds familiar”

“Except I had you to pull me back before it was too late” Bernie smiled and brought their entwined hands up to her lips as she placed a soft kiss on the back of Serena’s hand, a gesture that made Serena smile softly. 

“You already had one foot off the edge” Bernie couldn’t deny what Serena said because it was true. She had had one foot over the preverbal edge before the brunette came along and pulled her away on to solid ground. 

“And losing my job, my commission nearly sent me over” Bernie knew that if she had lost the children that she would have taken that final step and she wouldn’t be here with Serena right now, she’d be in a box six feet under and her kids would be with their no good father and his new wife. 

“Except it didn’t and you’re here with me and with the kids” 

“When I get back from Afghanistan I need to start job hunting” The change in conversation almost gave Serena whiplash but she knew that Bernie would open up more and more to her as their relationship progressed. She knew the blonde was still of a fragile mental state about certain things so she didn’t push. 

“I’ll second that” 

“You want a new position?” Bernie had suspected that once she returned home from Afghanistan that Serena would leave her position as nanny but to hear the words made her heart quiver with fear and anxiety about losing Serena altogether. 

“I was thinking about going back into medicine” The brunette had looked into getting back into the profession she loved so much and had spoken to the CEO of Holby about resuming her career there. The talks had been productive

“I thought…” Serena looked over at Bernie when she heard the trepidation in the blonde’s voice. She sighed quietly and squeezed Bernie’s hand in an attempt to bring the blonde reassurance that just because she’d still be very much part of her life and the lives of the children once her contract was up. It wasn’t as if she was going to dump Bernie once the job was done. 

“Bernie we both know that after you get back that my contract is up and I don’t intend to stay at the agency”

“I know I’m just so used to having you around all the time” Bernie’s whispered words nearly broke Serena’s heart but she couldn’t stay at the house, not when she had Jason to worry about. She knew it was much too soon to be thinking about moving into the house as Bernie’s partner.

“I’m still going to come over”

“It’s going to take some getting used to that’s all” 

“It’s going to be tough for me as well you know” Serena hadn’t told Bernie that she had been worried about leaving her and the kids. Ever since Jason had brought it up after she was home for that weekend Serena had dreaded the day she would have to leave and now with the relationship between herself and Bernie only growing more and more it had been made even harder “Not seeing the kids every day, not being able to spend time with them” Bernie glanced at Serena as she mentioned everything that would change once the brunette finished her contract and went back to her home with Jason. Everything would change and Bernie knew the household would all change and, maybe, not for the better “Not waking up next to you, not seeing your face in the morning, not being able to hold you in those precious few moments before we have to get up to get the children ready for school” The brunette hadn’t slept in her room since that evening they had fallen asleep together on the couch. She realised that she would miss Bernie’s arms around her in the evenings and in the mornings so decided not to find out what it felt like not to have her macho army medic wrapped around her but she knew that she’d have to once she moved back home. “I’m going to miss you so much” 

“Sweetheart…” Bernie wrapped Serena up in her arms and pulled her close to her. She kissed the top of Serena’s head and held her close. Whenever she had held Alex it had never felt like this, it had never felt this right. This feeling gave Bernie so much inner conflict, so much doubt about what she and Alex had had. “You have to think about Jason and how much it would unsettle him if you were to ask him to move his life to an unfamiliar environment, with unfamiliar people” 

“I know” Serena knew Bernie was right; it wouldn’t be fair on her nephew to ask him to move his life when he had just gotten settled at her house no matter how much she wanted to stay with Bernie and the kids. The rest of the taxi ride was spent in a relaxed silence, the couple cuddled up together as they allowed the conversation they had just had to sink in.

“We’re back” Bernie whispered into her partner’s hair as Serena straightened up just enough so the blonde could get the money out to pay the taxi driver. The brunette slipped out of the cab, food in hand, just as Bernie got her change “Thank you” Serena waited for Bernie to exit the cab before she headed up to the front door. She felt the blonde’s arm as it snaked around her waist and her partner’s lips on her bare neck and exposed shoulder “Dinner first?”

“How about we take it to bed with us?” Serena whispered her voice husky as Bernie’s lips teased the sensitive spot on her neck. The brunette had just about managed to open the front door under the distraction. 

“I like that idea” The couple headed inside, Bernie kicking the door closed as her lips continued to torture Serena’s sensitive spot. “Get up those stairs Ms Campbell” Serena moaned softly at Bernie’s hotly whispered words. The brunette pulled away from her partner and turned to look her macho army medic. She bit her lip, which earned a salacious smirk from her partner, before she turned and headed upstairs food still in hand. Bernie watched as Serena walked up the stairs, her hips swayed from side to side, the dress clinging to her partner in all the right places. She seemed like a goddess in Bernie’s eyes, to the blonde Serena was perfect and she couldn’t wait to get her hands on her partner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations for the Italian in this chapter  
> Portala a casa e mostrale un po 'di amore: Take her home and show her some love
> 
> Ti meriti questo Bernie, non lasciarlo andare: You deserve this Bernie, don't let it go


End file.
